The following morning.
He had spent a long ti thinking about how to bring Robert to his senses, and he had co up with several approaches. A quick one, a slow one, and a dangerous one. Given his constraints of ti, the quick approach it would have to be.
He rose, had breakfast, and gave instructions to the servants and his guards. The situation with House Arryn's household guard had turned out to be sothing of an amusent in itself. There were around a hundred and twenty of them, and combined with his own cutthroats they would amount to a small army he had no use for. The solution presented itself readily enough: he simply posted every man who had let himself go to fat and laziness back to the Vale. He identified such individuals through sparring matches with his own n. Fifty-three of them were ultimately sent ho.
By morning the Kingsguard had rotated, and at the post stood his old friend Jai Lannister, complete with his habitual look of contempt.
"My Lord Hand." The Kingslayer offered a mocking bow. "It is good that you have co. A firm hand is needed more than ever."
"I am glad to see you in fine shape, and that past disappointnts have left no mark on you." Two could play at this. "In our day and age, it is only n such as yourself who can be truly trusted." Jai's smile dimd slightly.
"Agreed. Only proven n can be trusted," he said, unexpectedly conceding the point.
"Is the king in his chambers?"
"He is, though at present he is resting from his considerable exertions."
"The best rest cos from a change of occupation. Ser Jai, let through and do not interfere." The Kingslayer held his gaze in open challenge, but stepped aside all the sa.
Entering the king's chambers, he imdiately caught the sll of sex, alcohol, and sweat. Robert was asleep on a vast bed that also held three other naked bodies. At least the whores were pretty, or he would have lost all respect for Robert. Pitchers drained of wine were scattered across the table, along with a heap of clothing.
"Get out," he said. The whores woke, looked at him, saw the badge of the Hand, and were gone in monts. Robert slept on.
He filled a cup with what wine remained and drank from it. Arbor Gold. Delicious, in his opinion, but overhyped to the point of commanding absurd prices. He stood over the king and waited for so reaction. None ca. He took one last sip of the excellent wine and poured the rest over the king's head.
"AAAA, WHAT DEAD MAN DID THAT?!" The king lurched upright, gathered his wits in a mont, and fixed his bloodshot glare on him. "Axel, you bastard, have you forgotten your place?!"
"Much as my father forgot in his ti that you could and should be flogged. Perhaps you wouldn't have turned into a barrel on legs."
"I'LL HAVE YOU!" The king drew himself up to his full height and lood. A mont later Robert understood that his friend felt absolutely no fear before the fearso Demon of the Trident. "KINGSLAYER!"
"Is that all you have?" He asked it calmly, with a asure of contempt. "The Robert I knew would have called for a duel. But you..."
"All I have?! ALL I HAVE?! I'll grind your head in the training yard!"
"I'll be waiting for you in the Western Courtyard in twenty minutes." He gave him no chance to get a word in, turned, and walked to the door. "Let's see what you're worth."
"KINGSLAYER! Where in seven hells is my bloody squire?! Tell him to get my armor and my hamr ready!"
"First step done."
...
He had anticipated many things, but not that Robert would fail to fit into his armor and arrive in his shirtsleeves. The king's eyes were red, veins standing out along his forearms from the strain, and in one hand he carried his spiked warhamr as though it weighed nothing at all. Axel stood in his sellsword armor: light, unrestrictive, capable of turning an arrow. In his hands he held a blunted sword and a mace, which he promptly set aside.
"Hm." The mace was unnecessary here. So were the armors. "Robar, help get this off." His cousin hurried over at once.
"You're planning to go easy on ?" Robert's fury redoubled.
"No. To even the odds." There were no odds to even, in truth. Robert today had no real chance.
"HURRY UP THEN!"
The mont the armor ca off, the fight began.
...
Twenty minutes later.
"Huh-hu-hu." The two-ter fra carrying so hundred and thirty kilograms of king was struggling to catch its breath. "HA-HA-HA, gods, it's been so long since I pushed myself like that! We have to do this again!"
"We should, but get yourself into so shape first. You're dull company as you are." It was the plain truth. The hamr was dangerous, but slow, and he had sidestepped it with ease. "You're no match for right now."
"I?! No match for you?! I swear, give a couple of months and you'll rember what it felt like when I was the one chasing you around the yard!" the king vowed.
"I'll be looking forward to it, Your Grace." There he was, the Robert he rembered. "Co on. Let's have breakfast and talk."
Finding that the king was not yet in a condition to stand on his own, he had to help him up. With so effort he managed it, and together they walked back toward the castle under the stunned stare of the Kingslayer.
"Ha, in twenty minutes the whole castle will know the Hand beat up the king, ha-ah-ha." Robert was clearly delighted by the prospect, but no, this had been thought through.
"Don't worry. I made sure beforehand that my n kept everyone away and looked the other way themselves. If there's any rumor, that ans the Kingslayer has a loose tongue." Lannister's expression curdled. The king laughed.
"HAHA, co on, let's go! I could eat a whole boar!"
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