Raymond’s POV
After talking with Leon about relationships and getting so advice from him, I sohow managed to gather enough courage to head back to the restaurant again.
Honestly, the entire walk there felt stupidly long.
Not because the place was actually far away, but because my brain kept doing that annoying thing where it overthinks absolutely everything right before sothing important happens. One second I was feeling confident enough to confess properly, then the next second I was wondering if I should just turn around and pretend I never ca in the first place.
Leon really made it sound easier when we were talking.
Then again, he wasn’t the one about to confess to a woman who openly called herself a slut with a completely straight face.
Still, I already ca this far. Backing out now would’ve made look pathetic even to myself.
The mont I stepped inside the restaurant, I looked around the place almost imdiately. The sll of food wasn’t strong yet, probably because they were still preparing everything for the day. A few utensils clinked sowhere in the back, and the place was quieter than usual.
Then I spotted her.
Monica was standing near the counter preparing sothing. Maybe ingredients. Maybe food. I honestly couldn’t focus enough to tell because the second I saw her, my thoughts started getting scrambled all over again.
But no.
My plan was already set before I ca here.
I was going to confess to her again.
Well, technically, the first ti barely even counted as a confession. I mostly just stumbled around my words while acting nervous like an idiot. This ti felt different though. I actually ca here intending to say things properly.
I was serious now.
Serious enough that even if I got rejected, I still wanted to go through with it anyway.
And honestly, I didn’t really care if she turned down.
At the very least, I wanted to say what I genuinely felt without hiding behind awkward excuses or acting like I was only casually interested in her.
If I was going to embarrass myself, then fine. I might as well do it with style.
"Monica," I called out.
The mont her na left my mouth, I realized sothing weird.
It was actually the first ti I had ever said her na directly to her face before.
That sohow made even more nervous for no reason.
"Uh? Oh, you..." she said while glancing toward . "What are you doing here? Are you planning to eat again? Unfortunately, nothing’s prepared yet since you ca too early. If you want, co back later."
"I..."
The second I opened my mouth, my confidence imdiately tried abandoning halfway through.
Seriously, what the hell was wrong with ?
For a brief mont, I almost backed out completely. My brain started filling itself with all kinds of stupid thoughts at once. Was this really okay? Was I forcing myself too hard into sothing that obviously wasn’t going to work out? Should I have prepared smoother lines first instead of barging in here like so desperate idiot trying to speedrun emotional damage?
Because honestly, standing there in front of her suddenly made realize just how unprepared I actually was.
I felt like I should’ve thought of sothing smarter to say. Sothing cooler. Sothing that didn’t sound like a nervous teenager trying to confess for the first ti in his life.
But weirdly enough, every rehearsed line I thought about using suddenly felt fake.
So after standing there awkwardly for another second, I took a deep breath and forced myself to stay grounded.
"I... I actually wasn’t here for the food," I admitted. "I ca here because I wanted to talk to you."
The mont I said that, Monica looked at with obvious skepticism. Not even subtle skepticism either. She looked at like she was trying to figure out whether I was serious or just suffering from a temporary lapse in judgnt.
"You really can’t take a hint, can you, Mister?" she said.
Her tone wasn’t exactly mocking, but it definitely wasn’t encouraging either.
"I an, I know you have a crush on , and honestly, I appreciate it. But are you really sure you’d be okay with dating a slut?"
She said it so casually that my brain almost lagged for a second.
Like who just says that about themselves so naturally?
"I’m serious, by the way," she continued while leaning slightly against the counter. "If I got into a relationship with you, there’s basically no chance I’d stay loyal. I’ve never really been good at keeping it in my pants. That’s just how my relationships usually end up working."
I already knew about the rumors surrounding her.
Pretty much everyone did.
People constantly talked about how she kept jumping from one guy to another even while already dating soone else. So people judged her for it. So people acted obsessed with it. So people pretended they hated her while clearly wanting her at the sa ti.
Honestly, people in town really needed hobbies.
"Could you seriously handle that?" she asked while looking directly at . "And like I already told you before, my body belongs to soone else now."
Then she gave a small shrug.
"And honestly? The person fucking right now has a cock so good I could probably spend the entire day bouncing on it without getting bored. anwhile, judging from the sll of diocrity coming off you..." she paused slightly before giving another look, "...I don’t really think you’d satisfy much."
Ouch.
That one definitely landed.
She sighed afterward, though not in a cruel way.
"So I’m sorry, but I’m not exactly committed enough to give you the kind of relationship you probably want. You’d honestly be better off finding sobody else."
The weird part was that hearing all of this didn’t affect the way I thought it would.
I felt hurt, obviously.
I wasn’t immune to getting emotionally hit in the face.
But at the sa ti, it wasn’t enough to make hate her. And honestly, I already knew most of these things about her beforehand anyway. It wasn’t like she had hidden any of it.
I never ca into this expecting so perfect fairytale relationship.
For so reason, while standing there listening to her talk about another man fucking her, my brain suddenly tried imagining it.
I pictured her beneath soone else.
Getting fucked.
Moaning for another guy.
I honestly thought the image would make angry enough to snap out of whatever feelings I had for her.
But instead...
Sothing else happened.
A strange feeling rushed through my head before traveling all the way down my spine and settling directly into my crotch.
And that genuinely scared a little.
Because instead of anger, I felt excited.
Not fully.
Not comfortably.
But enough that I noticed it imdiately.
It stirred sothing inside that I didn’t really understand yet. So strange feeling that almost made think I’d enjoy seeing sothing like that.
And honestly, realizing I wasn’t angry about it made feel incredibly confused with myself.
Because I didn’t hate the thought.
For so reason, I actually didn’t mind it.
That realization alone made my chest tighten strangely.
Then before I could stop myself, the words slipped out naturally.
"If I told you..." I started slowly, "that I don’t really mind if your body belongs to soone else... would it still be possible for to be the one who has your heart instead?"
The mont I said it out loud, even I got surprised by my own words.
But weirdly enough...
Instead of making feel ashad, saying it actually made feel a little more courageous sohow.
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