Johanne's gaze slowly dropped to the floor, her wide eyes frozen in stunned silence.
As if the words she'd just heard had shattered sothing fundantal inside her.
It was written all over her face—that expression that teetered between disbelief and dread. Sure, a part of her might have wanted to believe that the woman standing before her was lying, just weaving a cruel story for whatever reason. But... the truth was, Johanne wasn't even allowing herself to entertain that possibility.
Maybe she already knew.
Maybe her heart had sensed it long before her mind could fully grasp it.
She had been turning her eyes away from the truth, refusing to confront the reality that had always been lurking just beneath the surface. She knew. She had to know. That quiet sense of dissonance, that internal friction—she'd felt it for years. And yet, she had clung to the life she knew, unable, or perhaps unwilling, to accept the truth in its rawest form.
Tris and I glanced at each other for a mont.
Even after that shocking reveal, we didn't show surprise.
And that was because… we had already known.
Johanne's voice cracked slightly as she asked us, "You two… knew this already?"
We didn't respond with words.
I simply gave a silent nod, my eyes eting hers with quiet understanding.
Then I saw it—barely noticeable, but unmistakably there—a single tear slowly welled up in the corner of Johanne's eye before trickling down her cheek, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She didn't sob. She didn't cry out. But that lone tear carried more pain than any scream could ever convey.
This must've hit her like a storm.
Her entire life, she had been living in the shell of a man's body, being shaped and molded by expectations that were never her own. Raised to be soone she never truly was. Her identity, her soul—caught in an illusion that now lay in pieces before her.
The self-crisis building up inside her… it was going to be brutal.
The foundation she stood on was crumbling, and the person she thought she was—had always thought she was—was beginning to dissolve into sothing unrecognizable.
There is nothing more devastating than realizing that your whole existence, your very sense of self, was based on a lie. That everything you believed, everything you trusted about who you are, was a mask forced upon you since birth.
Johanne let out a breath that sounded like the weight of the world had just settled on her shoulders. Her entire fra seed to deflate under the pressure of it all.
"…C-Can I… just get so space for now? I don't really know how to process this information," she said softly, her voice wavering as she slowly rose from her seat.
She didn't wait for our response.
Tris and I remained still.
We didn't follow her. Didn't say a word.
She needed ti—ti to let the jagged reality of everything sink in, to feel the full depth of what she'd just been told.
And we understood that.
This wasn't a mont for comfort.
This was a mont to grieve.
***
Johanne's POV
I wonder…
When was the first ti I truly realized that my entire life had been built on lies?
I think the first hint ca in those quiet monts—when I'd look at myself and feel like I was wearing soone else's skin. Walking down a path that never quite felt like mine.
It wasn't anything I could explain easily.
But deep inside, it was like… I was living in borrowed shoes.
Wearing a mask that didn't belong to .
And now, everything makes sense.
All this ti—I was different. I am different.
I'm a woman.
A woman who was forced to live inside a man's body.
A woman who was altered at birth… by her own father.
And the cruelest part?
I didn't even know.
I had lived twenty whole years completely unaware.
I never would've discovered the truth—never—if I hadn't accidentally shifted back into my original form.
But even now… I still don't know what to think.
Is this… really my true body?
Is this woman's form I've returned to… the real ?
Because for all those twenty years, I lived as a man. I thought like one. I acted like one. I was seen by the world as one. And now, with all of that stripped away… how am I supposed to tell what's real?
Was the man I once was… a lie?
Is the woman I see now just an illusion?
What is real?
The line between reality and fabrication—it's blurring so much that I can't even tell where one ends and the other begins.
But no…
There's sothing more important than just the truth.
It's not just about what I was.
It's about what I'm going to choose.
Is this life—the one I was always ant to have—the one I want?
Or is it the life that was given to , the one that was forced onto ?
What am I supposed to embrace?
A man? A woman?
Which one is ?
Who… am I?
I've been thinking so much, my head feels like it's going to split open.
Everything feels like it's crashing down on .
What the hell even is this?
Why the fuck did my father do this to ?
…No.
I think I understand now.
I was his firstborn.
And he was the Sword Saint—soone obsessed with legacy, with power as well as with tradition. He wanted a son. A first son.
So when I was born—a daughter—he didn't hesitate.
He twisted fate itself.
He changed my gender.
Without my permission. Without telling .
Without a second thought.
And I had no idea. None.
"Father… I really want answers right now…" I muttered, my voice trembling as a surge of anger twisted painfully in my chest.
It was only natural to feel this way.
He violated sothing sacred.
He tore my identity from . Warped my body for his own desires. Because he valued a son over a daughter.
Because he wanted a heir more than he wanted .
It was selfish.
Disgusting.
I can't believe he'd stoop so low—to choose pride and legacy over his own child's soul.
***
Leon's POV
After what felt like an eternity, Johanne finally returned to the room.
He didn't look as shocked as before. There was still a heaviness to his steps, a weight in his gaze, but sothing had shifted—like he was no longer drowning in it.
"So? Did you manage to co to terms with the truth?" Dorothea asked, her tone cool and composed.
She sat like royalty on the edge of her seat, legs crossed with effortless grace, the porcelain teacup resting between her fingers as though this were just another lazy afternoon. Her crimson lips parted just slightly as she took another sip, eyes calmly observing Johanne like she was watching a play unfold.
"Yes," Johanne replied. Her voice didn't waver. She t Dorothea's eyes without blinking, as though forcing herself not to look away. "I've co to terms with the fact that… in reality, I am a woman."
A beat of silence passed.
Dorothea's brows lifted faintly. "Oh, I see…" she said, exhaling softly. "I can see the acceptance in your eyes. But tell … do you truly accept the truth so easily?"
"I think I've already accepted it… at least partially," Johanne said. "I've been living in this body for months... almost a year now. And during that ti, sothing changed inside . The pain I used to feel when I was a man… it's gone."
He paused for a mont.
"No—more than gone. I think I finally understand why I was experiencing it to begin with. Every single month, I'd suffer a kind of pain that made no sense for a man to feel. I thought it was a disease—sothing irreversible... or sothing fatal even. I was scared, confused, and ashad of sothing I couldn't explain."
Her eyes dimd.
"But now… now that I've changed into this form… it all makes sense. That pain? It was nstruation. All those years… I was nstruating while living in a man's body. I thought I was cursed or broken sohow. But when I beca a woman, the confusion vanished. Everything I used to feel but couldn't comprehend… it clicked. Like puzzle pieces snapping into place. Like my body was finally aligned with sothing deeper inside ."
She inhaled, then exhaled slowly, his voice gaining clarity.
"And so, I started to think… maybe this—this body, this form—is who I was ant to be all along."
There was no hint of hesitation in his tone.
He was being painfully honest, laying bare every buried doubt and emotion he'd held for so long.
"Now that you've told the truth… that my father changed my gender just after I was born so I could be his son… it's like everything around has shifted. The world I knew shattered, and sothing unfamiliar rose from the cracks."
Her gaze drifted to .
Our eyes t.
And in that brief mont, sothing unspoken passed between us. Johanne's eyes widened slightly—then she blushed.
A soft pink blood across her cheeks like she'd been caught naked. She quickly turned away, the flush lingering as she averted her gaze.
"I've accepted the truth of what I am now," she said. "With this body… with this life. However…"
Dorothea leaned forward slightly, her eyes narrowing in curiosity. "However?"
"Please… change back to my male self."
The mont those words left her lips, I felt like a slab of concrete had fallen from the sky and slamd into my chest.
User Comments
0 comments from readers