Rachel: heyyyy a friend invited over to play magic
Rachel: but!
Rachel: im not far i can be back super quick
Sophia: Ah, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you weren’t expecting back ho at any reasonable ti, so please don’t rush around on my behalf.
Rachel: ah, but consider: i could go ho and say hi to you
Sophia: Seriously, Rachel, if you’re out with a friend then you don’t need to leave them for my sake. That wouldn’t be fair to either of you.
Rachel: they wont mind! promise!
Rachel: i can be back in five minutes tops
Sophia: It’s fine. I could use the extra sleep anyway. You know how ragged I run. But, we’ll hang out tomorrow. I’ll cook breakfast.
Sophia: Night.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
I want to scream and throw my phone against the wall and set my hair on fire. I want to swim to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and beco food for shrimp. If I got up on stage in front of the entire population of Earth and told them all my most embarrassing secrets I still wouldn’t feel as bad as I do right now.
Sophia ca ho early and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there for her. I could have been with Sophia and instead I’m playing a dumb card ga with people I barely know and Sophia is alone at ho without . This is the worst case scenario. Forget the lesbians in the Ossuary, this is my new 9/11.
I stand up abruptly in the middle of Erica’s turn. “Hey, so, thanks for the food and gas, but I should really go.”
Erica stops fiddling with her combo and raises an eyebrow at . “Work stuff?”
That would be a good excuse, but she could verify it too easily. Should I bluff anyway and deal with the consequences later? No, I’ve already waited too long. “Personal stuff,” I say curtly, and then I scoop up my cards and fit them in their deck box.
“Well, thanks for coming over!” Eli says.
Dave says, “Yeah, it was a fun ga, I’m happy to play another round any ti.”
“For sure,” I say quickly. “You have a lovely ho and it was an amazing dinner. Thank you again, and sorry for the rushed ending! See you so other ti!”
I scurry for the door and throw on my jacket and scarf. Erica, to my displeasure, catches up to and lays a hand on the doorknob. The other witch gives a searching look. “This is about that girl, isn’t it?” she says in a low, wry voice.
I glare at her. “Of course it is, so get out of my way.”
“What did she say?” Erica asks. “Did she call you ho like a dog?” She’s grinning at , mocking , practically sneering. “Or is that all you? You’d run after her no matter what she said, right?”
My face reddens. Shut up, shut up, shut up! “It’s none of your business.” I make my voice as cold as possible, but I can’t stop my fist from clenching.
Erica laughs. “You’re about to leave a nice evening with friends and food to go running off after a girl that doesn’t even want you. I bet she told you to stay, didn’t she? I bet she’d rather you spend the night with soone who isn’t her.”
Doesn’t even want you. Told you to stay. Soone who isn’t her. That isn’t true. My Sophia has to want . She’s just tired, but once I go to her she’ll be happy to see . She likes . We’re going to be together. I won’t accept another world. “Hey, Erica,” I say lightly, banishing my mounting anger to a pulsating node in the back of my mind. “I think we should continue this conversation outside, so why don’t you take your hand off the door?”
“Yeah? Think you can run away that easily?” She leaves her hand where it is.
I smile. “Well, I wouldn’t want to make your nice friends have to clean your blood out of their pretty walls and carpet.”
She gives an appraising look. I summon a knife, let it hang in my hand, and et her gaze with iron, unflinching will.
Try . Give a reason. Let put you in your place.
She lets go of the doorknob. “Damn, girl. Guess Howl was right about you. Go on then, chase after your hero. See where it gets you.” She walks away with a whistle, but I stopped paying attention halfway through her little speech.
I’m out the door in a flash and transform a second later, sparing only a mont’s glance to make sure no one is watching. I fly through the rain at top speed, droplets sizzling off my Protheus-granted body heat. The suburbs are far from our apartnt, but it’s not a distance that ans anything to magical flight. I’m ho in minutes, just like I promised.
I check my surroundings even more carefully when I transform back, mindful of how I discovered Striga’s secret identity. I stand outside in the rain for another minute before entering the complex, letting the water soak in so I won’t look suspiciously dry for the weather.
Sophia, Sophia, Sophia. My heart pounds. It’s Christmas Eve. A holiday. Could this be the night that I tell Sophia how I feel? When I step inside our apartnt, will she look up with sudden warmth, happily surprised to see ho? Will I catch a glimpse of that radiant, precious smile?
I don’t. The apartnt is dark and cool as I enter. With a sinking feeling, I move to Sophia’s door and press my ear against it. No sounds of movent. No light from beneath.
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I think about knocking, but if she’s already asleep then it would be rude to wake her. Quietly, carefully, I open the door.
Sophia is sleeping, passed out on her bed with the covers clumsily draped across her. Her breathing is steady, an even rise and fall of her chest. Her angelic face is relaxed, mouth hanging slightly open, eyelids not yet fluttering with dreams.
The poor thing. She must have been exhausted.
I stand in the doorway, watching her, for minutes. Five, maybe ten. I don’t keep count. I just stare at her perfect face, drinking in the sight of her. My darling. My hero. My Sophia.
I’m woken up by the aroma of fresh breakfast. Groggy, curled up on the couch, I fumble for my phone to check the ti.
“Morning, sunshine!” Sophia calls over cheerfully. “rry Christmas.”
I bolt upright. It’s Christmas Day. It’s a holiday. “You’re making breakfast?” I ask.
“You’ve done it for a few tis lately, so I thought I’d return the favor. It’s nice to eat together and not be rushing off anywhere, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” I watch her stir a pan of what slls like sausage. “Sorry again about last night.”
Sophia laughs. “You don’t need to apologize, Rachel. I’m the one who… it’s fine, really. Alright, order up!”
Maple sausage links, cantaloupe chunks, and eggs sunny side up, washed down with a glass of orange juice. A delicious breakfast, made all the better because my beloved made it for . I savor every bite.
We make aningless small talk. I learn details about her vet work, most of which is probably true, and in exchange I share funny conversations with friends. There’s a hole in our dialogue shaped like witches and magical girls.
“Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” she asks once breakfast is devoured and the dishes are put away. “I know it’s not snowing, but it’ll be nice to get out while there’s no one else around. You like liminal spaces, right?”
My heart beats faster. “Sure! Gray skies are almost as good as snow anyway.”
We walk the streets of Forks beneath endless clouds, the city still damp after a night of hard rain. Sophia is adorable as always in a soft green sweater and a tree-patterned beanie. Her breath mists slightly in the cool morning air, and I find myself wishing I could bottle it to keep a private reserve.
“I like spending ti with you,” I say. “I wish I got to do it more often. That’s why I felt so bad about missing you last night.”
Sophia winces. “That’s my fault. I… I know I’m always too busy, but it feels normal to . For the longest ti, you were always there, waiting for at ho, and I… I guess I started taking that for granted. Taking you for granted. And I’m so, so sorry for that.”
“It’s fine!” I say quickly. I an, it’s not really fine. It hurts so, so much, and I’ve been hurting for so long. But Sophia can hurt as much as she likes. I’ll always let her. “I don’t mind being your rock. I an, hey, it’s not like the past however many years would make you expect anything else from . I’ve been the rock sitting on your couch.”
Sophia smiles warmly. “And I liked that. It was nice always having you around. But, I’m really happy that you’ve been making more friends and finding other things to do with your ti. You’ve felt more alive, Rachel. And that’s been wonderful. I like seeing that. I just… also like seeing you.”
Oh my god oh my god oh my god I’m so gay I want to kiss you so badly aaaaa!!! “I like seeing you, too,” I say laly instead of screaming about my desperate need to push Sophia against a tree and bury myself in her mouth. “I wish I could see you more often.” Because I love you and I need you and you’re the only thing that completes .
Sophia grins. “Well, now you can!” I blink. “I’m making a commitnt: one night a week, every week, I’m going to make ti for you, and if work or anyone else tries to call then they’re going to find my phone turned off. No interruptions. No ergencies. Only us.”
Date night. Date night every week. Date night with Sophia every week. Only us. Only us. Only us. “Can you get away with that?” I ask, projecting concern to hide the explosions happening in my brain.
“Of course I can,” she says smugly. “I’m .” Then she sighs, the exhaustion seeping back in. “I know I do too much. I am buried in responsibility, but you know what? I do enough. If anyone begrudges taking one night off—not even a full day—each week, then they can burn in hell. One night a week, only us.”
I smile. “That sounds perfect. Thank you.” Date night. Only us. Date night. Only us.
If anyone tries to stand between us—tries to take Sophia away from —then they can burn in hell. They can all burn, and I would happily burn them. I would break the world to take it from your shoulders.
This is the ti. This is my mont. So why can’t I summon the words?
I need to tell Sophia that I love her. I need to tell her that I’m Archon. I need to share everything with her so that we can be together. But the words are sticking in my throat. Fear is rising like bile.
What if she rejects ? What if she doesn’t want to be with ? What if I ruin a good thing right as it gets better? What if those date nights never happen because I scare her off?
No, no, no! I conquered this! I swallowed my fears against the deimovore, so why are they coming back now? I thought I was over this! But here and now, in the mont, staring at Sophia’s beautiful, smiling face as we walk the empty streets together, I can’t find my voice.
I love you.
I’ve always loved you.
I need you.
I’ve always needed you.
Please love back.
I force my mouth to move. “So. On that topic.”
Sophia glances over at , then down at her phone, which she’d pulled out while I was ruminating. Her expression shifts into a scowl. “Shit. Now, really?” She starts rapidly typing, and my heart sinks. Not again. Not now. “Ugh. Rachel, do you—”
“It’s fine,” I say quietly. “If you have to go, I understand.”
I can almost taste the pain in her eyes, bright and bitter like grapes gone rotten. “Hey. I ant what I said. I’m going to get things set up with the people I need to tell, and then those nights are ours. First Friday of the new year, how about that? You can pick what we do. Maybe we can go see a movie. It’ll happen. I promise.”
“Okay.” I force a smile. “I’m looking forward to it. Let’s go to an aquarium.” A romance can’t call itself yuri until the girls have been to an aquarium together. That’s a rule.
A bit of joy returns to her expression. “I’d love that. Okay, gotta run!”
And then she’s gone, hurrying away to do who cares what. Leaving alone.
I should have said it. I should have told her.
But, as much as I hate to admit it, a part of is relieved that I didn’t. The fear ebbs out. I haven’t ruined everything. And now, or in a little over a week, I get to go on a date with Sophia.
Maybe this is better. Maybe this way, I can work up to my confession more naturally. I an, god, imagine just dumping a love confession on soone out of nowhere. Even if she likes back, that would probably be all kinds of disorienting. Better to do it… more naturally.
I can flirt on our dates, feel out her boundaries, try to gently build up to it. And I get to spend more ti with Sophia. This wasn’t a failure. It wasn’t a failure. It was… a stepping stone. A waystation on my journey to stealing Sophia’s heart.
Of course, that still leaves alone on Christmas. I sigh and start walking ho. I guess there’s always more work I could be doing.
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