This Novel is not my Chapter 59: Use (4)

Although I was in a situation where I had no choice but to accept her thanks, I didn't particularly want to go so far as to borrow a hair tie.

So I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and picked up my chopsticks.

Noticing that I had no intention of borrowing her hair tie, Helga slipped it onto her wrist and gave an awkward smile.

"I heard from Reisir. He said that thanks to you, I was rescued quickly and safely. Thank you for helping ."

Her tone as she expressed her gratitude was calm and gentle.

To explain in advance so no talk of character collapse cos up later, that demure attitude is all an act.

In a word, it's pretense.

'Her character setting was that her true tomboyish nature only cos out around her longti friend Reisir, while in front of others she acts like a dignified noble lady, wasn't it...?'

Keeping what I knew of Helga's personality from the original work in mind, I continued the conversation.

"So you really are thanking ."

"Of course. I received help."

"Aren't you Reisir's longti friend? Then you must naturally hold so ill will toward , yet you've accepted the fact that you received help rather easily."

This incident was resolved while she was asleep under the effects of a sleeping pill.

So even if she heard the story from Reisir, she wouldn't really feel as though she had received my help.

Besides, wasn't the reason she got kidnapped in the first place because this body's original owner had targeted Reisir for bullying?

The readers of the original work treated Helga as an 'unlikable character who stood by while her friend was bullied in order to protect herself.'

If you asked whether she was actually portrayed as a cowardly character in the original work, that wasn't the case.

And if you asked whether she didn't care about Reisir, that was even less true.

It was obvious that stepping in wouldn't help in any way, and on the contrary, there was a possibility that her personal safety would be used as leverage to bully Reisir even more severely.

Then Reisir wouldn't even be able to put up the slightest resistance and would have to endure the bullying while blaming himself for putting his friend in danger.

She had no choice but to lie low.

'Considering that Tryggdrik kidnapped Helga this ti, her course of action was wise. If she hadn't acted that way, similar incidents would probably have happened several tis already.'

In the end, the very thing she had been so wary of ca to pass.

No matter how much Helga is the type to put on a front in front of others, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was letting this go too easily.

Shouldn't she at least bring up the things this body did in the past and take the attitude of, 'I'll thank you, but helping was sothing you were obligated to do'?

But Helga offered nothing more than a simple thank you.

That's why I was skeptical about whether she was genuinely grateful.

'Was there really a need to co thank in person? Was offering to lend a hair tie excessively kind?'

Those questions kept lingering in my head, and I couldn't just ignore them.

So I was only probing lightly, but—

"Wow... He said you wouldn't be able to accept a thank you at face value, and it was true...?"

Unable to hide her surprise, Helga muttered those words.

And Reisir, as if to say, 'See? What did I tell you?', looked at with pity.

The misunderstanding that I've been used my whole life and thus beco unable to ekly accept gratitude has only grown stronger.

'I can't even ask what I'm curious about...? Was I just supposed to stay silent even though I was suspicious?'

I thought there wouldn't be a problem as long as I didn't reject the thanks by saying I didn't need it, but apparently I was wrong.

It was an unfair situation, but arguing that it wasn't true would only put at a disadvantage.

There were already quite a few people pretending to focus on their food while secretly watching this table, so what would happen if I raised my voice here?

I don't want any more attention, so let's just let it go.

Thinking that, I picked up a piece of bulgogi with my chopsticks, and Helga belatedly answered my earlier question.

"That's right. To be honest, my feelings toward you aren't good. But what deserves appreciation deserves appreciation. Above all, Reisir, the victim, not only forgives you but wants to be your friend... I, who couldn't do anything while he was being bullied by you, don't really have the right to interfere now, do I?"

Helga said that and let out a deep sigh.

It seed she really didn't think highly of Karvaldr. And because of that, I felt relieved.

One person like Reisir, who approaches with excessive friendliness and tries to get close to , is already overwhelming enough.

'No, should I say two, including Vigdís...?'

I glanced at Vigdís, who was seated beside .

After Reisir and Helga sat across from , she had quietly co over and taken the seat next to mine.

She definitely said before that she didn't like Reisir.

I wanted to ask what on earth she was thinking, but since Vigdís didn't speak to first, I had no choice but to leave her alone.

For the record, there was one more person at the table. As you all may have guessed, it was Ríolíkin.

By the ti he got the food he had ordered, Yor and Vigdís were already seated on either side of .

Because of that, Ríolíkin had tried to sit next to Yor, but Yor fiercely rejected him with a hiss.

So Ríolíkin moved to the empty seat beside Reisir as though being chased away.

The magnanimous Reisir seed uncomfortable with Ríolíkin, but he didn't bother to drive him away.

Ríolíkin seed to think that as long as he appeared to be part of my group in other people's eyes, it didn't really matter whether he sat right next to or not.

That was why I didn't include Ríolíkin among the 'people approaching with excessive friendliness to get close.'

After all, what he cared about was the gaze of others.

And I didn't want to get close to him either, so it worked out well.

"...Anyway, I'm trying not to dwell on the past. I heard you had your own circumstances too?"

I thought she was done talking, but apparently not, as Helga added that at the end.

The words 'Just because you have your own circumstances doesn't make it okay to bully others' rose to the tip of my tongue.

Even though I knew Helga didn't an it that way.

If I hadn't possessed Karvaldr's body, I might actually have said those words.

'Is it because Author Senna, the creator of this world, was never bullied in school that everyone takes this issue so lightly? Or is it because this world originated from a novel where anyone can be forgiven as long as they have a plausible reason? Or is Helga simply respecting Reisir's wishes...?'

My thoughts were a ss, but I couldn't let it show.

So, making my hardened expression look natural, I glared at Reisir.

"I had no choice because I was trying to explain that you're not a bad person."

As expected, instead of finding my expression strange, Reisir reacted like soone with a guilty conscience.

No matter what his intentions were in defending , he had still talked freely about soone else's private circumstances, so he had reason to feel guilty.

Whether Helga knew that Tryggdrik and Ríolíkin had treated Karvaldr like a pushover was none of my concern, but—

'I have a feeling he also blabbered on about that biased and distorted idea that I'm a tsundere.'

I put more force into my glare at Reisir.

At that, he instead broke into a bright smile and once again asked the question I had deliberately ignored.

"More importantly, Karvaldr, when are you going to tell what ti you eat breakfast and dinner?"

He really must want to have als with .

If he was truly that uncomfortable eating alone in the campus cafeteria, he could just eat with Helga or make new friends.

"...Why are you so insistent on eating with ?"

"Because I want to be your friend."

"So I'm asking why you specifically want to be friends with ."

After all, I not only let Reisir get away with grabbing by the collar, but I also cooperated in rescuing Helga.

The rumor that Karvaldr no longer bullies Reisir would now spread quickly.

Which ant the other students no longer had a reason ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) to avoid Reisir.

I rembered sothing from when I read the academy arc at the beginning of 《NaSE》.

Back then, I had thought that I wanted the protagonist to at least enjoy the school life I never could.

I was hoping for a kind of vicarious satisfaction.

That mory and emotion from long ago resurfaced.

The ti remaining until Reisir withdraws from the academy is now only a little over two and a half months.

If he wants to enjoy school life, even for that short ti, he shouldn't be doing this now.

The fact that I couldn't tell Reisir this truth was frustrating and irritating.

"I'm the one who wants to ask why. Is there so reason I can't be friends with you?"

"Are you really asking because you don't know? For the past sester, you were bullied by . But now, if you're seen desperately trying to beco my friend, what will the other students think of you? They'll not only laugh at you for having no pride, but they'll think you're a sly sycophant trying to curry favor with power like Tryggdrik. If you're not trying to gain so benefit by using , is there any reason to risk becoming the target of that kind of gossip?"

If you want to play at friendship, do it with soone else. That would be more beneficial to you.

That was the aning behind my outburst.

But he seed to have interpreted my words differently.

"Karvaldr, so what you're saying is... the reason you didn't want to be friends with until now was because you were worried other people would look down on ...?"

"Don't twist my words into whatever you want to hear."

"If that's not what you ant, then what is it? Is there any other way to interpret it?"

......Huh?

I replayed the words I had just spoken in my head.

Only then did I realize my mistake and beco flustered, but Reisir urged to answer quickly, saying, "Well?"

"J-just... if you're going to make friends, it would be better to choose soone other than ..."

"How is that any different from my interpretation?"

"......"

This wouldn't be happening if it were writing, where I could calmly gather my thoughts and revise things as many tis as I wanted.

Then I wouldn't have made a mistake like this.

All I could do was regret the words I had impulsively blurted out and swallow my disappointnt.

'At this rate, I'm a self-aware tsundere, and now I've even gained a low self-esteem trait on top of that...?'

This was all because of Reisir's persistence.

How many tis have I said I don't want to be friends with him? Since saying 'no' didn't work, I had to co up with another reason, and it ended up like this.

As I inwardly blad Reisir, I heard a muttering voice beside .

"If that's the reason, Kar isn't really in a position to be worrying about others..."

The one who said that was Vigdís.

She must have been referring to how I tolerated the rumor that 'Karvaldr is so desperately clingy toward his fiancée that he's grateful even when she talks to him occasionally,' all to maintain our engagent while keeping my distance from her.

I couldn't let Reisir get interested in those words.

I didn't want to reinforce the tsundere image any further.

Besides, I wanted to change the subject anyway, so I pretended her muttering was directed at and started a conversation with her.

"I've been aning to ask, Vigdís, why are you sitting next to ?"

"I-is there so kind of problem? We're engaged, so we can eat together, can't we...?"

"Didn't I promise that from now on I wouldn't interfere with your friendships? I was asking because I thought you should be making new friends and building those relationships by eating als with them."

I couldn't push Vigdís away the sa way I did Reisir.

So even though I phrased it indirectly, telling her to go eat sowhere else still made her expression visibly gloomy.

"But... everyone has already ford groups with their close friends and moves around in cliques..."

"Ah! I know exactly what you an! It's that feeling where people don't avoid you like before, but they also don't seem to have any intention of including you!"

As if embarrassed to admit she had failed to make friends, Vigdís explained herself in a mumbling, trailing voice.

At that, Reisir seed delighted to have found common ground with her...

'Wait a minute! Reisir, you bastard... you wanted to make new friends, but it's hard to squeeze into an already established group, so you're coming after because I have no friends at all...?'