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Now reading: Chapter 80: Self Improvement from Uma Musume: Wine Red, a Comedy novel by DBF.

"Haaaaaaaah… That was regretful."

In his dorm, Igo Heita let out a tired sigh as he let the warm water wash over his body. The young man had an eventful day, filled with physical activities that drenched his body in sweat, but he felt dirtier after reading the forum. He knows that there are people who are attracted to purity, like how he is attracted to breasts and bottoms, but eting one was another story.

The young man turned off the shower and dried himself off with a fluffy towel. Since the trainer doesn't share their room with anyone else, Igo Heita doesn't see the need to put anything on as he exits the bathroom. The young man looks at himself in the mirror.

"Hello there, handso. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing great, thank you very much. You yourself are handso."

"Why, thank you~~ You're such a flirt."

"We should combine our forces. With our power combined, those three Goddesses are nothing more than pebbles."

"Indeed. Let's see the progression of our skills."

1. *Level Up* [Truth Seeing Eyes] Lv 4: allows the user to see people's stats.

2. *Evolution* [Uma thyl] -> [thly Sweat] Lv 3: causes the user to secrete sweat that is addictive to Uma Musu and normal won.

3. *New* [Uma Siren] Lv 1: the user's voice exudes control over Uma Musus. Overuse of this skill will cause [REDACTED] to Uma Musu.

4. *New* [Uma-disiac] Lv 1: the user's body will grow more sensitive when Uma Musu touches sensitive-spots. Prolonged touch will incapacitate the user.

5. *Level Up* [Lucky Pervert] Lv 3: the na speaks for itself. Be grateful, asshole!

6. *Level Up* [Fast Learner] Lv 3: allows the user to learn knowledge faster.

7. *Level Up* [Ungrateful bastard] Lv 4: This skill doesn't do anything. We just put it here to remind you of what you are. Start worshiping us before you regret it.

8. *New* [Schizo] Lv 1: Talking to yourself out loud isn't normal, you know?

"You unemployed Goddesses!! Stop looking at !!"

The young man screams at the crying sky. He wishes the rain were the tears of the 3 Goddesses. The young man yells at the clouds, shaking his hand angrily.

"You stupid peeping bitches!! You enjoy the view of my mammoth trunk, huh?!!? Can't wait for to stab you with this, huh?!?! Then co down here!!"

Thankfully for the young man, his neighbors have pretty much adapted to the random ramblings he tends to do when he is angry. In fact, they'll get worried if they don't hear him talking to himself.

"Kuh… They're just a bunch of Aquas. I'm a firm Eris believer and will always be."

After venting his anger to the sky, the young man was finally able to calm down. He flipped the light switch off and lay on his bed. He feels as sleep gains more and more ground in the war between it and consciousness.

"Uuuh… Stupid Goddesses…"

.

.

.

"Alright! Alright! Everyone, co here!! Stop flirting with the newbie!! We're approaching the station, and we'll do one last debriefing!!"

"Oh fuck you, Major!! You've been flirting with him nonstop, and now you're going to stop us."

"Oh, shut up. Why would he prefer re foot soldiers when he can have ?"

"Ahaha… Please stop."

A spaceship slowly drifts in outer space, several hundred kiloters away from a space station. They're sent here to cleanse the space station USGSS Miami of a certain species that is reported to have overrun the entire station and kill all of its inhabitants. The USGSS Miami is an important pitstop in a resource-rich solar system, which is why the US governnt determines that recapturing the station is necessary, rather than completely wiping it off the space map.

"Pay attention, girls!! You can sit here, Igo."

"Boooo~~~ Using your position to win points is unfair, Sergeant."

"Shut up. I can't trust you monkeys."

The USSF Dagger is one of the United States Space Force's many spacecraft that is used to cut deep into hostile areas. Since USGSS Miami has been compromised by hostile lifeforms, a containnt has been put on the solar system to prevent further outbreaks on humanity's space assets.

The USSF Dagger is run by an all-won space company, until several months ago, when a young man by the na of Igo Heita was stationed with them. The Major was confused beyond reason, inquiring if there was a mistake in his deploynt. It's not that she is angry or doesn't want him, on the contrary, she is more than happy to have him with her. She is just worried since not even a single second of his being in the spacecraft, her company already tries to get into his pants.

"Listen, we're up against Umamorph."

"Yeah… Yeah… We have dealt with them before."

"You have, but Igo hasn't, so shut up. Moreover, since Igo is a man, he is in way more danger compared to us."

An Umamorph. An extraterrestrial species whose origin is currently unknown. Humanity cos into contact with the species mainly through accidents. They're an all-female species that seemingly can't produce a male counterpart of the species. An Umamorph colony is led by a single queen. The queen would lay eggs, which, unless they've been inseminated by the sperm of other species' males, would develop into drones that are a complete replica of the queen.

If the eggs were inseminated by sperm from another species, then they would develop into a princess. The princess can then develop into a new queen if they decide to break off from the colony or the old queen dies. The princess will have a combination of the queen's DNA and the donor's DNA. This combination can be expressed by the princess's body in many ways. For example, an egg that is inseminated with birds' sperm will develop a princess with wings, feathers, or clawed feet.

Because of this fact, the original form of an Umamorph is unknown. The rough outline can be determined as most Umamorphs share so characteristics even when they're being inseminated by different species: four limbs, a prehensile tail, hoof feet, durability, stamina, mane, and pheromone-based communications.

"You can stay on the ship if you want, Igo."

"He'll get consud with the won here without your supervision, Major. Better bring him with us. He needs to have actual field experience, too."

"And it's just Umamorphs. They're just a pack of wolves in space. We can handle them while going on a date with Igo."

"Sigh… you fuckers. Igo, I'm going to tell you how they reproduce using the males of another species. I'm not scaring you, it's just for information."

"She's lying. She just wants you to hold on to her during the whole mission."

"Snitches bitches."

One of the main differences between queen and drones is in the purpose of their prehensile tail. Drones' tails' purpose is as a weapon with pointed edges to stab the enemy and a hole to spray powerful acids. For the queen, the tail also has an additional function as an egg-laying instrunt. On the base of the queen's tail, a pharynx-like organ is present that switches the tail from being connected to the acid gland or the ovary. The Queen's tail is also capable of expanding and contracting far more than the drones' tails to complent its secondary function.

Once insemination has occurred, the queen's tail will locate the father's anal opening. She would then insert the tail deep into the father's rectum, as the inseminated egg travels down the tail. The egg would be implanted deep inside the father's intestines. The egg can now be classified as a parasite as it absorbs so of the father's resources. It also theorizes that the egg was planted to collect more of the father's DNA, giving the embryo more examples to follow.

The developnt of the princess depends on how complex that father is. The more complex he is, the more ti the princess needs to develop. The father would know when the princess is ripe as the egg would secrete slippery sli, which would ease its journey out of its father. Once out, the princess would then break out of her egg to continue the cycle.

"Sounds like I want to be dead instead of being captured by them."

"You do. Now prepare yourself. We're boarding the station using the shuttles. Dock the ship around ten kiloters from it."

"Don't worry, Igo. The only one entering your back door will be my tongue."

*Slap*

"KIERAN!! No harassnt!!"

"Yeah! Only the Major can do that!"

"HAhahahAHAHA!!"

.

.

.

"Keep your guards up, girls. Don't mistake the quiet with eradication. Shoot imdiately."

"It's unreasonably quiet. Too quiet. Did they lose too many drones and don't have enough biomass to restore their numbers?"

"That's good then. Fewer problems to deal with, more ti to win points. There are so cool dating spots in this place. And so secluded areas too."

"Don't you girls think you're a little bit too aggressive with Igo? What if he doesn't feel comfortable?"

"Don't be too pure, Aoi. No boys like sothing too clean. The cleaner the boys look, the dirtier their minds are. That's the rule of thumb."

"Besides, you heard the rumors, right? You know your airduct is connected to the Major's room if you heard the sound of moaning."

"Those are just rumors."

"Rumors are sprinkled with so truths."

*Ting* *Ting* *Ting* *Ting*

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong, Aoi?"

"I heard the sound of sothing dripping."

"Probably a leak sowhere. If it's an Umamorph, you'll see it. They're not smart enough to hide themselves. They rely on their speed more than anything."

"Yeah… I guess so…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In space several light-years away from USGSS Miami. A massive fleet of spacecraft can be seen hovering in place. Most will wonder why such a powerful fleet remains dormant in so place unremarkable. If they're a reserve fleet, then keeping them near a habited planet would make more sense. Which ans, they're here for a mission, and that mission is to enforce the isolation of a particular solar system.

"General Turk, our subjects have boarded the experint ground."

"Enforce complete blackout of communication. Make sure their scream wouldn't be heard."

"Yes, General Turk!"

"Can you connect the surveillance system on the experint ground with ours? I would like to see the scene up close."

"As you wish, Lady Barb."

"Godolphin, how much of the Umamorphs' brain power will improve with the DNA of Private Igo Heita?"

"Approximately ten tis their original brain capacity. Private Igo Heita possesses DNA strands that would help his brain to grow more folds, and not only that, the drugs we have him took also enhance this attribute. He will allow the Umamorphs to develop a brain that will be comparable to a twenty-year-old human."

"Have you reported it to the higher up, Darley?"

"Of course. They won't hop off my back if I didn't."

"Then operation 'Derive Sin' shall continue."

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