Well aware that advancing his body cultivation this soon after advancing his spirit was almost certain to cause a tribulation, Sen put so distance between himself and the army. He didn’t want soone else getting caught in it. With a very small list of exceptions, becoming a secondary target of one of his tribulations was a death sentence, pure and simple. Certain that he already had far too much bad karma, Sen wasn’t in a hurry to invite more through such easily avoided negligence. Not that he imdiately took the pill. He knew that soone was bound to co out and try to talk him out of it. He didn’t even lift an eyebrow when he felt their approach, although he was surprised by who it turned out to be.
“Xu Xiao Dan,” said Sen. “I wasn’t expecting you. I thought for sure it would be Master Feng.”
“It almost was,” said the forr patriarch. “He ultimately agreed that he wasn’t calm enough for the task.”
Sen nodded after giving that a mont or two of thought. Master Feng normally interacted with the world through attitudes of either indifference or irritation. However, when he was truly upset, there was very little to stop him from simply deciding for everyone how things were going to be. The fact that he’d chosen not to co said that he was currently in one of those truly upset states. It also told Sen that this teacher knew that this was sothing that needed to happen, however much they both hated the idea. Not that it had stopped Xu Xiao Dan from coming out to try and stop him.
“I assu you’ve co ard with several well-reasoned argunts about why this is a horrendously stupid thing to do,” said Sen with a faint smile.
The other man offered an equally faint smile and answered, “I wouldn’t have couched it in those terms. Dreadfully stupid, perhaps, but not horrendously stupid.”
“I see. I suppose your way is faster.”
“Indeed. Should I bother making those argunts? Can you be swayed from this course of action? You surely know that it has the very real chance of crippling or even killing you.”
“I am very aware of the risk I’m taking. There are reasons for it. I’m not doing this in a blind pursuit of power.”
“We all know that. You’ve made it clear that advancent is not a priority for you, strange as that might seem to so.”
“And you still think I should reconsider?”
Xu Xiao Dan frowned as he contemplated that question.
“I won’t pretend to understand your position. I don’t think any of us old monsters really do. We all took very long journeys to get to where we are. The things that motivate you often seem foreign to , like things I’ve heard about, rather than things I’ve experienced. I find mortals baffling. The way they burn with passion, and the frenzied way they chase after dreams that are, as often as not, impossible. Those are things I left behind long ago. Or, perhaps, maybe I beat them out of myself with the whip of discipline. One cannot chase cultivation in a frenzy if one wishes to reach the peak of the mountain. There is little room for passion in the long march across the centuries.”
“I don’t know,” mused Sen. “You all seem to find anger easily enough.”
“Anger is simple. Anger is easy. Passions are complex. Dreams are complex and epheral. So easily lost in the morning. They burn away like mist beneath the sun if they aren’t nurtured.”
Sen found that a lancholy thought, because he’d experienced that firsthand. By the ti Master Feng found him, any dreams that Sen might have had were long abandoned. Most of the dreams that children like him yearned after, wealth and power primarily, had co to him. However, they had brought him little satisfaction. Only the creation of his strange family had t, no, it had exceeded all of his wildest childhood dreams. It wasn’t even the obvious things. It was the intangible things. Trust in others. Oh, what a precious thing that was in his life, and so terribly rare. The miracle that was Ai’s joy in discovery, in learning, in simply being alive. The simple knowledge that there were people who cared what beca of him. All of those things were the dearest treasures in his life.
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“I know you think this is a mistake,” said Sen. “If I were in your position, I expect I would think the sa thing. But nothing in my cultivation journey has happened the way it should have. We should not know each other. I should not possess the power I have. Many things have happened that shouldn’t have happened. Things that I wish hadn’t happened. Yet, the heavens provided the knowledge to do this now. I don’t believe that was an accident or without purpose. I suspect that I’ve already tempted their wrath by waiting longer than I should have. I fear that any more delay will have dire consequences.”
Xu Xiao Dan lifted an eyebrow and said, “So might call interpreting the intentions of the heavens a dangerous kind of arrogance.”
“And they would be right, most of the ti. I’ve just had more opportunities than most to grasp what the heavens intend for . They haven’t been subtle about it.”
“Have you explained all of this to Fate’s Razor?”
“He knows. I imagine that it’s part of why you’re here instead of him. He knows he can’t make the argunts from an honest place. All he could really say is that he doesn’t want to do it. The only reason he has to object is that he doesn’t like putting myself at risk this way. But he would be here to stop if he truly believed that I would be anything other than, well, not fine. No one ever survives a tribulation in good shape. But if he thought I was really going to die or destroy my cultivation, he’d never let do it.”
“What if you’re wrong?” asked Xu Xiao Dan.
Sen let that question wash over him. It was plausible. Not terribly likely based on all of his experiences so far, but it was within the realm of possibility. What did that an for him, though?
“If I’m wrong, I doubt I’ll have all that long to dwell on my mistake.”
“I don’t imagine you will,” conceded the other man.
“I appreciate your concern. I can’t imagine it ca easy for you,” said Sen.
That brought out a small laugh from the elder cultivator.
“It didn’t. I won’t deny that I resented that vow to the heavens you extracted from . But ti is a teacher, and I’m not so set in my ways that change is impossible. It’s just—” Xu Xia Dan hesitated. “I think the only appropriate word is painful. Like most cultivators, I didn’t see or chose not to see the true threat. Even after that threat destroyed everything I’d tried to build, I tried to pretend it didn’t exist. After everything I’ve seen during this war, though, I’d have to be a child to keep pretending.”
“If it helps, I’d like to pretend that none of it was happening.”
Xu Xiao Dan gave Sen an appraising look and said, “Strangely, it does help.”
“What will you do after the war?” asked Sen.
“I assud that my service to your family would occupy my ti.”
“Let’s say that you weren’t bound to that service. What would you do? Would you try to rebuild the Clear Spring Sect?”
The forr patriarch gave Sen a sharp look before he stared at sothing Sen couldn’t see.
“That sect was flawed. I saw so of the flaws. I failed to see others. What was it that you said to the day you left? ‘There is no honor in this place.’ Those words burned in my ears for a long ti after that. I suspect it was because I knew that they were at least partially true. I also knew that the bla for that fell largely on . Would I like to see that sect rise again? Yes. Am I the person to rebuild it? I’m less certain. What is to keep from failing the sa way again?”
Sen took a mont to think that over before he asked, “What’s to keep you from doing better? Ti is a teacher, but so is experience. I think that you could avoid so of those mistakes now that you know what to look for.”
Xu Xiao Dan gave Sen a much longer look. There was a spark of hope in the man’s eyes.
“Are you suggesting that you would release to rebuild the sect?”
“Service can take many forms. The illusions your sect erected around the spring are formidable, but they’re designed to be solved. I should know, since I did it. That spring is special. It requires guardians. I can think of worse tasks than training those guardians to be your service. Besides, we’ll need sowhere to send water qi users to get decent training.”
Sen thought he spotted tears welling up in the elder cultivator’s eyes, so he turned his gaze in another direction.
“Thank you, Lord Lu,” said Xu Xiao Dan, his voice thick with emotion.
“Don’t thank yet. We still need to survive and win this war.”
“True. I take it from this change of topic that you intend to proceed with the breakthrough?”
“Yes.”
“Then, shall I stand guard over you? From a safe distance, of course.”
Sen nodded.
“Yes. From a safe distance.”
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