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Now reading: Chapter 60: I Really Am a Superhuman from Wait, How Did My Digital Girlfriend Become a Sword Immortal?, a Xuanhuan novel by 宇宙无敌暴龙烧鹅.

Chapter 60 – I Really Am a Superhuman

Tianquan City, Ascension Tower.

Yun Suxin, the Young Mistress of Lingxi Valley, slowly regained consciousness from her deep sleep.

Around her, cultivators from various sects and city guards lay sprawled in disorder, still unconscious.

She rubbed her throbbing temples and instinctively reached for her waist.

"...Where's my storage pouch?"

Not only was her storage pouch gone, but so were her artifacts and even her jewelry!

Many of the other cultivators had yet to wake up. They had all been waiting here for their sects' flying boats, only to be drugged and stripped of their possessions instead.

"This is… Soul-Scattering Incense!?"

Yun Suxin spotted a burnt-out incense burner in the corner.

Soul-Scattering Incense was a non-toxic, colorless, and odorless sedative, typically used to calm spirit beasts.

Whoever did this was thankfully not out for blood. Otherwise, the consequences would have been unthinkable.

However, this location was only known to reputable sects, and everyone here had undergone strict identity checks.

Which ant—there was a traitor!

But who?

"It was Qingyun Sect!"

A furious voice rang out.

Soone pointed at the large character "Qing" on the hall’s wall, along with a taunting ghostly face drawn beside it.

"Unbelievable! We had no grudges with Qingyun Sect, yet they ca all this way just to rob us?"

"Qingyun Sect is already wealthy beyond asure. They must’ve done this just to humiliate us!"

"In the Zhongzhou Secret Realm, we must make their disciples pay!"

As the hall erupted into outraged discussions, Yun Suxin pinched the burnt incense ash between her fingers and rolled her eyes.

If this had really been Qingyun Sect, she would eat this incense ash.

She looked around.

The only ones missing—were the people from Sword Pavilion.

Thinking about their perpetual poverty, Yun Suxin imdiately understood.

Hah. So, Sword Pavilion dared to rob Lingxi Valley?

Fine. Just wait and see!

"Brother, you look absolutely legendary!"

Chen Huai’an’s mouth twitched as he sat in the production crew’s shuttle.

For the third ti, the driver had repeated this exact phrase.

First when they t.

Second when he got in the car.

And now, again.

"To be honest, bro, I’ve driven for this show for years. I've seen at least a thousand celebrities, if not more," the driver said earnestly, one hand on the wheel, the other giving Chen Huai’an a thumbs-up.

"But I've never seen soone as insanely good-looking as you. And that’s saying sothing, even with you being bald! I can’t even imagine how stunning you’d be with hair! No joke, you make that celebrity, Cai Yifan—who's on this season—look like a joke, and he’s had work done!"

"I think I’m just average," Chen Huai’an replied, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Not a chance!" The driver shook his head. "You know what it is? Aura. Looks aside, your aura alone crushes all those male celebrities. It’s got this… I don’t know… enlightened monk kinda purity! You should play Tang Sanzang—you’d be an instant hit!"

Chen Huai’an chuckled. "If that’s the case, won’t I steal the spotlight from the celebrities?"

At this, the driver’s face fell. He slapped the steering wheel.

"You know what? Be careful of that Cai Yifan guy. He’s a big deal, not soone to ss with. The show is basically set up to promote him. If you run into him, keep a low profile. We’re just regular folks—no need to butt heads with celebrities."

Chen Huai’an took note.

But really, what kind of conflict could he, a terminal cancer patient, possibly have with a celebrity?

On the other hand… would that celebrity even dare ss with him?

After being dubbed "The Top Version T0 Creepy Old Man" and "The Little Celestial" in past incidents, wasn’t he essentially the hidden boss of reality itself?

If that celebrity actually tried to stir trouble with him…

Well.

He’d let him experience firsthand the phrase: "I really ssed up."

"Oh my god! Cai Yifan is finally here!"

"Good evening, Fan-ge!"

"Fan-ge, you’re getting more and more handso! Your career is totally skyrocketing!"

At the foot of Tiann Mountain, the production team of "Daring Adventure with Celebs" had gathered.

A striking young man, dressed in tailored designer wear and adorned with an expensive brooch, stepped into the spotlight.

Cai Yifan.

A current trending "fresh at" celebrity.

He wasn’t quite at the level of true A-listers yet, but he was rising fast, with a bright future ahead.

He hadn’t joined the show because he particularly liked it. His company had arranged it, saying it would help improve his public image and attract more casual fans—laying the groundwork for the lead role he had secured in an upcoming movie.

The problem?

Cai Yifan had zero acting skills and would require dubbing.

If he didn’t build up goodwill now, the movie would get torn apart by critics before it even premiered.

From his own perspective, he despised being here.

First, he hated hiking—it was exhausting and made him sweat.

Second, the show was live-stread.

That ant he had to suppress his real behavior—no cursing, no smoking, no picking his nose.

The program started at 9 PM sharp. He was supposed to arrive by 7 PM to prepare.

He showed up at 8:40 PM instead.

All the other guests—including a washed-up celebrity and three minor influencers—had obediently arrived early. They’d even fild so behind-the-scenes clips in advance.

On a show like this, BTS clips were essential.

Even though it was a live broadcast, the footage would later be edited into a pseudo-docuntary for replays.

After all, not every working-class viewer could sit down at 7 PM sharp to watch TV.

"Oh, finally, Xiao Fan, you’re here," the director, Zhang Dao, greeted him, barely hiding his frustration.

He was pissed but didn’t dare say anything harsh.

"Go get ready. We’ll shoot so filler clips in the anti."

Cai Yifan gave him a bored look and rolled his eyes.

"Make sure the cara angles are perfect. Capture my best angles. I need to approve the footage before you upload anything. If it doesn’t make look good, it’s not going up."

"Of course, of course," Zhang Dao forced a smile, ntally cursing Cai Yifan’s entire bloodline.

Cai Yifan went to change and get his makeup done.

Even though they were about to hike up Tiann Mountain at night, makeup was mandatory.

Had to cover up those dark circles.

The caraman was dumbfounded.

So this entire BTS clip would just be… Cai Yifan changing clothes and getting his makeup done?

All the other guests had introduced themselves, demonstrated their outdoor survival gear, and discussed potential hiking challenges and secret weapons.

And Cai Yifan’s contribution?

Striking a few pretentious poses.

Was this a hiking show or a fashion runway?!

At 8:50 PM, everyone was in position, ready to start filming.

Then, a staff mber ran up to Zhang Dao, whispering nervously.

"Director Zhang… One more guest hasn’t arrived yet."

"Who?" Zhang Dao’s eyes narrowed, barely restraining his temper.

"The mystery guest you arranged."

"Oh, right. The mystery guest." Zhang Dao had been so infuriated by Cai Yifan that he had completely forgotten.

"Find out where they are!"

"We did. The driver said… they ran out of battery."

"WHAT?! F***! Can’t anything go smoothly? Ask them for their exact location and send a car imdiately!" Zhang Dao’s face darkened. He grabbed his head in frustration but still announced the show’s start.

A five-minute delay was no big deal for them.

For the TV station, however, it would be a broadcast disaster.

At that mont, on a deserted hiking route, Chen Huai’an’s car had stalled.

"We’re still a ways from the eting point," the driver sighed. "Damn electric cars, not as reliable as gas ones. Battery drains way too fast in cold weather."

Chen Huai’an glanced at the ti.

The show started at 9 PM sharp.

He was always punctual.

He looked up at the steep rock face, testing it with his foot.

Solid. Stable.

If he climbed directly, he’d be there in no ti.

"Guess I’ll go up myself," he said.

"What?"

By the ti the driver turned around—Chen Huai’an was gone.

The night was dark.

The wind howled over Tiann Mountain.

A shadow soared up the vertical cliff face like a phantom.

Chen Huai’an grinned under the moonlight.

"Tonight… I feel unstoppable!"

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