As I'm being princess carried by the Empress - an action that is decidedly less fun compared to when Ios does it - whisps of void and soul energy radiate off of the monarchal presence of my past life, their black and white tendrils softly healing and nding any spot that was wounded in that brief... Well, might as well call it what it was. An ass kicking. I frown internally and externally, part of chiding myself for even attempting sothing this monuntally stupid in the first place, while the other is still salty about said ass being kicked.
The Empress chuckles above , her facial features growing more discernable as her feet clack against the worked marble stone leading up to her throne. "You are as amusing as you are tenacious, Alia. But that arrogant anger will lead you to disaster if you do not quell it now while the universe sees fit to give you grace, and that ti is quickly approaching its end. While the kitsune Akiko did her utmost to shelter and hide you from the prying eyes of the world, our recent actions against the Heavens was noticed by many."
She pauses as she resus her place on the throne, still cradling my much more complete and unblemished soul avatar in her arms and on her lap as she looks down toward . In that ever present discordant yet regal voice, its weight shaking the realm around us, she continues on, "You need to advance your spiritual cultivation and then take the next tribulation as soon as possible. You have the skills and power to overco what will surely be a tepid response so quickly after the [Judgent] I levied against the golden palace. If you wait and try to perfect every aspect of martial endeavors and crafting professions, the Heavens may once again find their spine and respond in a most unkind manner."
I do my best not to huff out in annoyance, the whiplash of getting smacked around like a pinball and then getting a lecturing but urgent call to action hard to process in my mind at the mont. So of that peevishness must slip through to my face as the Empress shakes her head in a small exhale of... not amused breath, per say, but she's definitely giving off the vibe of talking to a spoiled child, playing along with their mood swings while they throw a tantrum. Hey... Wait a minute...
Just as that little nugget implants itself in my brain, the Empress carries on in that overlapping, lecturing tone, "As for your sister and mate's safety, I once more assure you of the non-existent danger she may face in the presence of Raphiel. On my cultivation and my love for that woman, I swear that she would never do anything to hamper or harm Sandra in any way, shape, or form. Either intentionally or not."
My eyes widen slightly at the heavy-handed promise, leaving no room for argunt as the Empress' slightly outlined iris' stare down at . I may be new to cultivation, but I already know enough that when people swear on things like that, they an business...
"Why?" I mumble out before finding my voice again, our eyes peering into the other's, "Why are you and Raphiel doing this? Why did you show that mory of yours?" I ask out still a bit shocked, my avatar's heart picking up pace as the words flow out of , my anxious mind desperate for answers. The regal form above regards in contemplation, humming a monotone tune as she weighs her answer.
"I have stated so before," She begins with asured tone, "but I see that you did not trust my response then. And still are hesitant to do so now, even though the answer remains the sa. I wish nothing but for your individual success and happiness with Sandra and cultivation in general, to carve out a space for those you love to live in bliss amidst a harsh and cruel universe." She says as she moves a dirtied lock of hair out of my face, the previous exertion of my pitiful attempt at fighting caking it in dried, silvery sweat.
"As for Raphiel's motives, I will let Sandra discern those in ti. When she is ready. However, to alleviate your admittedly sweet yet poorly practiced concern, my previous vow should stand up to scrutiny regarding the types of actions and intent behind Raphiel's growing involvent with your sister. Folly though it was, the fact that you so whole-heartedly faced a being like myself, even if you may have known you were truly in little real danger, does speak well of your commitnt and love for your mate. However, I will warn you once more to check those impulses when they occur unless you know beyond a shadow of doubt that your victory is assured." She says, her eyes pinching down into a stern and heavy reprimand, making cower slightly beneath her while the air grows thick and heavy with pressure.
"You must always rember that you are carrying the imasurably important burden of life. Not just your own, but your soulmate's as well as the two beings attached to the both of you. If you had revealed that I was in fact malicious, driving to anger that so sche of mine had been discovered, you would have perished here along with Sandra, both of you lost for all ti. If I had not been as restrained as I was at your outburst, your soul avatar could have easily shattered, dooming yourself to permanent death with Sandra still in your center. Causing every infant bond you have begun creating here on Mara to shatter and spread like dust to the wind. Pushing the kitsune to yet another heartbreak that would have seen heart demons consu and doom her to a painful, agonizing death. Her last thoughts those of betrayal, lost love, and utter, lonely despair."
With each accusation and revelation, the air grows more and more suffocatingly overbearing, like existence itself is laying its weighty judgent on and finding lacking. Scared tears erupt from my eyes, images of Akiko broken down with dead eyes staring at nothing, the girls equally as shattered as they comfort her. Of no longer hearing the sotis annoying, but mostly love filled voice of Ios flitting about in my mind. Of Jun Li, Sam, and Gerra. Everything that I've grown to love ripped apart and shattered against the wall of my own actions, broken and irrecoverable in an erasure of existence.
For the first ti in a while, I feel my breath hitch and stutter under the unmoving gaze of the two white bonfires above, my arms curling around in the utterly useless attempt to ground myself. Wide eyes that loose rivers of spectral tears accompany hiccupping breath, my diaphragm unable to regulate anything with the sheer swarm of turbulent emotion and panic before a voided finger gently pokes itself right on my solar plexus.
"Breathe, Alia." The arena vibrates slightly, and not just from her words as she utters the command. With a small drop of power, the tension of the room evaporates and a soothing calm radiates from her finger to envelop my whole body, gently coaxing its way into my mind to quiet the maelstrom of disappointnt, regret, and self-loathing for my actions along with the terrifying future I nearly avoided.
I relax into the arm holding , my mind still clear just... lighter, sohow. "What... What was that?" I ask out languidly, the Empress removing her digit as she adjusts my position slightly.
"Nothing more than a miniscule drop of [Peace], sothing to quiet the spiral you were finding yourself in. While I am all for lessons of life being administered when needed, creating heart demons in the process is not my goal." She says out with a small tilt to the faint outline of her lips in what seems like... a joke? Can she even do that? Like, is she capable of it?
I file the banal questions aside for later, when I'm not busy being soul Xanax'ed into relaxation. "It is good," She resus in that regal professor's tone, her fiery eyes once again holding that careful softness, "that you now know the theoretical consequences of your actions here this day. Use this as a valuable instruction on the function of your new life, that challenging beings higher than you without a plan - without overwhelming power - is a risk you should never be willing to take.
Even if you feel you yourself are in the morally correct stance. Arrogance, hatred, or simple apathy are commonplace once Immortals have tallied the millenniums behind them. Long lived beings that could wash away a planet or solar system with a wave of a hand that are so wildly removed from the moorings of 'right' or 'wrong'. rely existing to avoid or return slights against what they hold dear with unrestrained acts of violence and death. Erasing all who scorn them, or at least making the attempt to."
All I can do is nod in a chastised energy, my head hanging down as she continues the verbal dressing down. A cold hand that emits a fuzzy, ethereal energy, like anywhere it touches on my skin instantly goes numb and static-y raises my chin back up to its previous spot. "Before you return to the material plane, I shall answer your last question and impart one final mote of knowledge."
I give her a more confident affirmative tilt of my head before she frees my chin and continues on, her waving black hair snaking around her in an invisible wind, "There are several reasons I showed that mory of my ti as a mortal to you, the least of which was revealing Raphiel. It will be up to you if you wish to parse through and learn the lessons hidden in those monts, but I would suggest that you do. A keen mind like yours would benefit greatly at discovering the secrets between the bloodshed and the nuance."
Once more, a nod cos from , even if I am slightly annoyed at the whole 'figure it out for yourself' routine about her answer. She smirks more obviously than before after the thought crosses my mind, a bead of sweat forming on my brow at the worry that maybe she can read my mind too, before she says her final words to for this lovely little picnic we've had.
"As for my final piece of wisdom for now..." She begins before adopting a slightly knowing and playful hitch to her voice, "kitsune's all have a spot right above the base of their tails that turn them into wling kittens when massaged, especially so when attended to by a lover. Seeing as how you have a very upset and worried mate of said species waiting on your bedside for your return to the waking world, I would wager that will be valuable knowledge to rember once you have both spoken to matters of the heart. Good luck, Alia~. Wake Up."
With suddenly dinner plate sized eyes, I go to ask her what she ans about Akiko waiting for before she laughs out the command to wake up, instantly throwing out of her throne room and back to my body still prone on the bed.
I keep my eyes closed as I shoot a ntal curse toward the abruptly wicked Empress, realizing that this was probably a bit of payback for my antics in the soul space. With achingly painful movent, I draw my eyelids open and creak my neck to the suprely upset Akiko that sits just at my hips on the bed, her tails snapping behind her in quick flourishes as her eyes squint down toward . I gulp a large and heavy knot of nervousness and trepidation down from my throat, the silence only broken by the small cracks of the sound barrier the ice blue tips of her tails create when they flick this way or that.
Eventually, Akiko does sothing that breaks my heart, pulling mories back from what the Empress just warned could happen. With still squinting eyes, bubbles of tears begin to bead forward from the kitsune, pulling together and then trailing down her pristine marble cheeks as she just stares at , the hurt and betrayal knitted deeply into the now watery eyes. I can't help but to tear up in response, pulling the blanket closer up to my chin as her crying and near broken state beco unbearable to witness. Knowing without a doubt that I am the reason for it.
With a cracked sob, she finally breaks the silence and chokes out in a heated and sorrowful voice devoid of its usual motherly cheer or cheek, "We heard, Alia. We all did. Your declaration of self-imposed isolation, the lack of trust you must surely feel toward all of us for that to be your reaction. More so even than that, I felt it. That crashing despair that you only let yourself feel once you thought you were free of prying eyes and listening ears, save for spirit Ios."
She stands up and looms over my trembling form, her snowy hair framing her teary and despondent face in white waterfalls as she frowns down toward , "I know you have not been here long. Either at this estate or Mara as a whole, but surely after everything you have been witness to and experienced so far, you have gained so level of respect and trust amongst not just myself, but the others as well! Even if we have shared monts of disquiet, we have always talked through those monts, apologized, and ca out stronger for it! Not to ntion that we are now soulmatesfor Heaven's sake Alia!!"
She raises her voice and nearly shouts, the exasperation and frustration bleeding out of every movent, every flick of her ears, every wave of her now animated hands as I watch on in depressed paralysis. "How many tis have I imparted to you that I am here for anything you wished to discuss, no matter the topic or weight? Even before that connection was made! How many tis has spirit Ios said the sa?? Yet you chose to hide away, spurn all aid under the ill ford pretense of saving us from sharing in your burdens. Sothing every singleoneof us have offered and done up until this point."
"I realize," She hiccups out, her voice cycling back to breaking after the brief outburst, "that you still hardly know what this bond ans. The importance of it, especially to after losing Zephyria. The way that those deeper and fuller emotions stir within after being viciously silenced so long ago. My now panicked mind always attentive and vigilant for any blip of despair or hurt that feeds through our nascent connection. The fact that I even briefly lashed out at Gerra! Soone I have cherished and loved imnsely for close to a century, simply because I rashly thought she was the root of your discomfort!!" She cries out, sniffling back a few emotional breaths as she stumbles back into her tirade.
"E-even though I know better than to treat my loved ones like that, and I am *hic* striving to control myself in heated matters, I cannot help but cling to this renewed bond. One that I thought I would neverexperience again." She sniffles out, the tears splashing on the ground, each impact sending further spears of pure black and blue through to my core. "I am soterrified that sothing will once again rip that experience from my grasp once more, that sothing will take you from . Your unique situation doing absolutely nothing to quell those fires, the danger that no doubt looms deep in your future plaguing my mind day and night even more so now that we are connected." My eyes go wide as the tears continue to fall between the two of us, her words an exact mirror of what I thought when facing the Empress. And the emotion behind them no less pure and honest.
She stops to wipe her face a couple tis, raising a tail or two to catch the trailing liquid before she levels her gaze back to my motionless and ashad form reeking of regret, "I know that this was not your intention, to make sothing so profound and rule breaking as a soul bond with such a clingy and desperate person such as myself. And I am sorry for the unsettling revelations it has caused, even if you seed to have moved past them. But let show you what it ans to be bonded by soul. If for no other reason than to prepare you for when your sister truly awakens and you both must face that stronger connection."
A torrent of foreign emotions blossoms inside as I feel everything and more that she just spilled out with an open, vulnerable heart. My breath escapes in a gasp as the weight and pressure rocks my psyche. The pain of loss, so profound and sharp that I feel as if my own heart is ready to burst and cease its beating. The clouded veil of worry and concern that makes higher thought near impossible. The ache and sting of broken trust and the loneliness that cos with the notion that your loved one is keeping their feelings from you. But more powerful than all of that... the radiant and pure love that drives those sensations, its touch and tone evident on every swirling gust of raw emotion that billows into .
I sob into the air, a weighted dip of the mattress occurring just as two chilly, strong, and loving arms co to wrap around , lifting up and pressing into the fresh carpet scent of their owner's neck. My own arms fling to embrace her in turn as we both cry into the other's shoulders. Feelings distinctly mine wash and mix amongst hers through the bond. The fear of losing Sandra that lded and manifested into pushing the people around away, scared that they would abandon if I continually kept laying my darkest worries and emotions at their feet. The nearly suicidal impulse to take everything on my shoulders and try to fix sothing that could never be fixed on my own, that hopefully wasn't even a problem to begin with.
The regret at not fully trusting them, any of them, with that heavy and oh so obviously wrong series of thoughts and at my own actions inside of the soul space and the childishness I harbored leading up to it. The feeling of drowning in the growing expectations and responsibilities that just keep piling onto , in spite of all the praise and self-growth I've gone through. Fear of what the future brings, of failure and what that ans now after being reminded so resolutely of it by the Empress. All of this and more as Akiko and I sit and trade our deepest, truest selves to each other in the midst of anguished cries and teary hitched breaths. The heart clenching and terrifying realization over the fates and futures that was narrowly avoided, borne from my self-destructive behaviors.
The clock in the room ticks along, uncaring of the two broken but healing won in the shadow of its gaze, rely content to keep its trono pattern as ti wheels past us in its perpetual march as their cries and pure, honest reactions echo inside the room.
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