Walking Disasters and Me Troubled Spirit – Ch 119

Muffled cries pull from my throat as we lay on the cold, hard ground of the arena floor, both of our arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace. With my face still buried into her neck, I mostly coherently ramble out between the choked sobs with a sorrowful voice, "I'm s-sorry, Sam. I never wanted to hurt you, any of you. I was *hic* I was just so scared about Sandra. So scared that you guys were getting tired of my craziness, a-and so mad at myself for constantly putting all that ss on y'all in the first place."

She rubs my back while she lets vent, squeezing a bit tighter at my confessions but fine with letting get it out of my system all the sa as I continue, "I do love you, all of you. And I'm sorry I m-made you question that, that I made you doubt it for even a second. All my life back on Earth, I've never h-had a truly healthy romantic relationship, either sabotaging it m-myself or being with those cruel, awful people who abused . I shouldn't have fallen back on those old survival habits, but I did and I regret it s-so much..."

"I am sorry as well, little pup." She finally says after I begin to get my breath back under control, only for that weak recovery to shatter into a million pieces as she finally calls my pet na again. I wail loudly into her neck, arms and legs cinching around her like a vice that actually does squeeze a bit of air out of her as she just lovingly holds and comforts .

"I am sorry that I needed to go to these lengths to feel reassured about our connection. And about how you felt towards the others. For what it's worth, you did admirably against , especially for the first ti we have ever crossed blades." I give a sobbed laugh in between the hiccupping breath, because of course that would be her first comnt after clearing the air.

She chuckles along with a bit, probably in on the joking thought as well, as she further says, "Humorous praising aside, I am sorry that I needed to hear you say those words with such conviction for it to settle as truth inside of . We are still young in our pairing, and you hold a cornucopia of untold history, secrets, and otherworldly foreign thoughts. A terrifying prospect for soone like myself who strives to achieve the honest truth of matters, especially when related to sothing so intimate as laying together, spending lives in shared hands and glad hearts."

She readjusts slightly to give a long, pressed kiss on my dirty cheeks, pulling a whimpering stutter between the lessening sobs as she keeps on, "But regardless of that inner caution, I cannot deny that you spark such feelings of passion, of adorable affection, and protective instincts inside of ." She tightens her embrace a couple notches before continuing in a smaller, more fragile voice.

"I was hurt deeply when you attempted to shut the rest of us out. It pulled mories of when the two betrayers began to distance themselves from the rest of the remaining group to mind unbiddenly, making the fear and distrust rise in when coupled with the short span of ti you have been here." She whispers out as she strokes my hair, pausing only a mont before her speech regains "But I know now I should not have questioned the trust and love you share for us, and I am firmly reminded of the fact that you are not that kind of person. I can see how all of this was started rely because of a malford attempt at self-defense on your part after your explanation, that you were in fact attempting to shield us from pain in your own unique way. At least, that seems to be part of the reason for your actions."

I nod weakly against her skin, pressing as much as I can into her body as my emotions swirl and litter my mind. We both lay there for a ti, long enough for to reign in the chaotic maelstrom lighting my soul space in all the colors of the rainbow. Sam holds tight as she kicks her feet out, flipping my still latched on form upright along with her, a small gasp escaping my lips at the little flutter of my heart as she does so.

I hear an approving chuff co from her before she coaxes down to my own feet, cupping my face in her hands and locking in a deep, long kiss after my feet touch ground once more. The previous flutter turns to flips in my chest as I slide my hands up through the roots of her hair, both our standing bodies pressing together in a heavenly smush of soft flesh and worked muscles. The slightly acrid sll of sweat and blood mixing with the smoke, coconut, and citrus mixing between us as we breathe deep between the shing of lips.

We break apart reluctantly, still clasping each other's faces, teal eyes staring into erald green as I softly say out, "Forgive ?"

A genuine smile breaks like the sun of a new day on her face as she nods slightly, leaning in to peck our lips together one last ti before replying, "Forgiven, little pup~."

We hug and sway again for a few monts before stepping back a couple paces, both of us drying our eyes and wiping off the dirt and gri of the fight. I see more than a bit of dried blood co off my sleeve, even if [Combat Recovery] has pretty much patched up by now. I shoot her a look before saying, "I know you're a bad ass warrior queen who was rightfully upset at the ti, but did you seriously have to Sparta kick into a freaking wall? That hurt!"

She gives a coy look as she replies nonchalantly and begins walking toward the exit of the arena that has now appeared, "Although I know not what that ans, consider it a valuable learning experience with the concept of pain, since you are still blazing past every encounter you have faced so far. Besides, that was the lightest I could strike you. Now co along, little pup. I must reset the training room back to our previous conditions so we can continue along for the day."

I quickly catch up to her before deactivating the techniques, latching hold of her hand as we walk the final stretch out of the Roman colosseum with a non-serious pout on my face. We erge back in the normal training room, Sam guiding us to the door and past it as she closes it behind us and reconfigures it back to what it was the other day. Satisfied, she and I re-enter and cross through the purple barrier to co upon the pretty fields and rolling hills once more, a sense of peace washing over for a few monts as we let the breeze kiss our cheeks.

"Have you advanced to the peak of the 2nd Rank in all of your paths, Alia?" Sam asks out in a curious tone as she walks forward and sits on the soft green grass, patting a spot next to her when she turns to face .

I oblige the invitation, cuddling up so that our shoulders are touching as we sit side by side which brings out another small laugh from the warrior woman. "I have for body and soul, but I haven't really had the chance to try and focus on spiritual cultivation lately with all the craziness." I respond a bit shyly. Probably should have put that at a higher priority, especially after everything the Empress said...

"Understandable." Samantha graciously says, "In that case, you should focus on bringing up your spiritual cultivation as far as you can for now. While still early in your developnt, it will be important to not let your paths fall out of alignnt and growth. At least, that is what I have understood from what was relayed to us by spirit Ios."

'Yep~! She's right. Probably wouldn't be a big thing for now, but you'll need to advance it anyway before the 3rd tribulation like the Empress suggested. Once you start going through those Realms, making sure your system is in tune with itself gets more and more imperative.' Ios happily agrees inside my head.

I nod to open space, catching Sam up on what Ios said. "Excellent. You should begin developing and placing your ridians in that case. While I do not want to influence your journey, I will offer a bit of advice since your situation is so unique. From what I have gathered, and spirit Ios can freely interject to correct if my knowledge is off kilter, creating the harmonization between each of the paths relies heavily on spiritual cultivation. You will need to not only focus on how your placent and connections to the ridians will aid you now, but also how your system as a whole will develop in the future. Leaving room for growth to naturally occur and not cause you a roadblock later, and this becos triply true due to your multi path advancents."

'Right again~! Sam such a smarty pants~!' I chuckle at Ios' playful tone, relaying her ssage which brings a small cross of pink across Samantha's cheeks as she huffs.

"My pants are just pants; they hold no intellect." She dryly replies, making burst out in a small fit of laughter at her dry humor. Calming down, I begin to focus and draw my attention inwards before a final thought crosses into my mind.

"Speaking of cultivating, have you guys been working on body and soul stuff? I assud Akiko gave you guys the manuals pretty much right after I bought them with how rapid her tails were wagging back then."

Samantha pokes one eye open towards , sitting in a ditative position herself before she answers back jokingly, "What do you think I am trying to do right now, little pup~? Gerra, Jun Li, and I have indeed been hard at work comprehending the other paths. I have already reached the 2nd Realm of the 1st Rank in body, while Jun Li is at the peak of 1st in soul. Although, to be honest with you, that is hardly a surprising developnt on her part given her kitsune nature. Gerra I believe is stuck on the 1st rank of both, but she has less ti to dedicate to cultivating due to her spreading her attention between that and the kitchen. Sothing the Mistress is liable to make comnt of if she does not adjust priorities soon."

Damn, poor Gerra. I know she likes to cook but... yeah. Getting started on the other paths should really be her top priority. Maybe I need to focus more on her spiritual cooking lessons after the tribulation, try and give her ti to catch up and advance. One last question pops up from her response as I ask back to Sam, "Why didn't I feel the tribulations from you guys? There should have been at least four, if Akiko hasn't also advanced by now."

"The Mistress has, although she did so at the Sect Hall during quieter monts. In all cases, they were singular lightning bolts that barely roused the attention of the Heavens. It seems your Empress made quite the impression on them, as tribulations the world over have beco much less dramatic affairs if reports are to be believed. Now, as fun as it is to share news and progress, it is ti to focus."

I give her a little nudge of the shoulder to which she chuckles before both of us beco still and silent, our attentions drawing inward amidst the birdsong and brush of wind across the fields. In no ti at all, I'm in my soul avatar looking over the flow model, inactive and quiet for the mont. In the silence, I feel Ios approach, raising my arm out as she slides in for a hug, trails of pink following after ever point of skin-to-skin contact.

"Glad you two worked it out sweetheart. Also, glad she went easy on you, all things considered. You really shouldn't have even stood a chance even with all your buffs and techniques~. Need any help with the spiritual stuff?" Ios' sing-song staccato voice pokes at .

I sigh as I squeeze the little troll and rub my face against the top of her giggling head before responding, "Yeah, much as it annoys I have to agree. The ti dilation did jack shit to how I perceived her movents, only giving the faintest of monts to react to anything. Not to ntion I only managed to shift her stance once, and that was with that maul that had like, sixty force and montum inscriptions on it. Girl is a monster..." I pause and shake my head, the brief 'fight' replaying just how outclassed I was.

"Besides, for all the kind of intense shit Akiko and now Sam has thrown my way, I can't deny that its at least slightly warranted. Everyone here operates so much more on trust once they bond with soone. I an fuck, the concept of soulmates is a real, tangible thing here. Of course they would have an extre reaction to what I did when paired with their past, even if it does seem kind of overblown for ... Anyways, let take a crack at it first, but if I have questions, I'll holler out to you, deal?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry sweetie. While you could usually just talk things out back on Earth, a bit of leg work is likely going to be needed with everyone now for the reasons you already are thinking about. I'll stick around if you have questions, love you~." She answers back as she leans up to plant a dotting kiss on my cheeks and then steps aside a few paces to let work.

Even though its still a bit disorienting, I move my soul sense to get a birds eye view for better angles. I focus my attention on the tributaries of nothingness branching out from the main channel between the soul avatar and the silver moon of my body path, its splintering rivers winding out through the rest of my body to various points. I trace one of them going towards the heart, finding that sa planar circle that so heavily resembles an impossibly intricate series of inscriptions.

Floating my senses to more closely inspect the ridian, my theory gets more and more confird the longer I stare at it. A wall of foreign glyphs, ancient and incomprehensible symbols, and lines of pure power connecting all of them in spiderwebbed and dazzling fashion. It's nearly enough to make my head hurt!

"So how does this factor in to everything..." I think aloud to myself, moving my incorporeal vision all around the connection point to the ridian, the ridian's flat plane itself, and then back towards the tributaries connection to the main channel. I pull in a bit of Qi, trying to focus on feeding it through this specific branch of the network.

I continue to ponder further as the starlight energy washes through the smaller river bed, feeding into the ridian which makes it begin to spin, almost as if the ridian is like... a water wheel and the Qi is the water powering its movent. I once again flip this way and that, making sure no excess energy is being spilt or leaked as the inscribed plane continues on its rotation.

Not finding any cause for concern, I play with the amount of energy going in, either decreasing or increasing it to see its effects. Notably, when the flat plane really starts ramping up its rotations, I can feel my own heart begin to be louder and stronger, almost like its being directly empowered. I hum a little and tune down the flow back to what it was before, crossing my legs and closing my eyes as I try and figure out this little puzzle in front of .

The soul path almost exclusively just focuses on the soul itself. Molding it to the persons image, filling the soul space with its energy, and then manifesting itself either with auras or as a physical entity like a weapon or sothing. The body path also mainly focuses inward, strengthening every physical aspect of the person while also expanding and then shrinking the dantian during the stages where the stored Qi becos liquid, and then solid. The spiritual path connects it all... but how?

I open my eyes again, turning back to the flow model in the distance. Well, okay, I get 'how' in essence... but how do these little guys help that process? What does a fully realized half-step triple cultivator's flow model even look like? I shake my head, mories of when I tried to skip a couple steps and how much unbearable pain that caused quickly making rethink my process.

I don't need to focus that far into the future as I'm working, but I need to keep it in mind and leave room for growth so that I can adjust it as needed as I advance... Nothing I do should be set in stone, making inflexible to adaptation or change as it arises. Hmm...

I turn towards the spinning symbols in front of , my own mind turning in thought in tandem as the silence ticks on. And on... And on... "Ugh!" My voice frustratedly cries out as I run my hands through the soul avatar's hair, "What am I not getting about these things?!" Despite the outburst, I do feel like I'm close to... sothing, at least. Like a word that you montarily forgot right on the tip of your tongue, teasing you with its identity but never fully revealing it until you suddenly rember and nearly choke on the water you were drinking in sudden realization... That may have just been a thing though.

I calm myself down with a few breaths, determined to give this at least another couple of tries before admitting defeat and asking Ios for help. I take a break from the heart and begin investigating all the rest of the spots that hold the currently annoying sources of power. Palms of the hands, soles of the feet, the neck and along the spine. Pretty much every major joint and important piece of the body, all with their own little bastard circle taunting with their secrets.

Occasionally, Ios flies along with without saying anything, just giving my soul sense so company when the frustration really starts to bubble up again which trendously helps to keep levelheaded. Unfortunately, the only thing of note that I find during my fly by inspections is that while so ridians are just one junction connections back to the main river, the ones going towards the limbs are actually connected by the sa tributary. The voided branch stopping at the shoulder to feed that spot before moving further down the arm to the elbow, then the palm. Sa for the legs and the spine.

So... What? Major parts like the heart, soul, moon, and head get a direct feed through to the source, while the extremities get a more winding connection path? I guess that makes so amount of sense, would want to make sure those are the most empowered and defended. Magic fantasy dicine can probably regrow limbs or sothing, but there's no coming back from an exploded heart or decapitation.

I guess in that case, the main thing I'm supposed to be doing now is making sure they're all connected correctly in a way that allows for developnt and eventually unification. Which also raises the question of what's going to happen when my soul fully fills up this place... Maybe I need to think of the ridians and their networks like a secondary circulatory system that will eventually be inside my soul avatar?

If so, then I should create thicker channels to the important parts and initial connection points for now, and then work on widening and developing them further and further as I advance. Imagining Qi like blood seems a bit... off, but its the only thing that makes any lick of sense right now.

Just in case I'm about to do sothing monuntally stupid, I pull my vision back to the avatar proper. Even before I get the chance to call out for Ios, she appears right in front of with a proud and happy smile on her face as she says, "You got it right~! There are so further steps you'll learn later in the path, but you went above and beyond for now~! Focus on deepening and widening the connection between your soul, body, heart, and head as well as the jumping off points for your limbs and spine like you were thinking. By the ti you finish, you should be at the peak~! You're so smart~! Hehe~!"

She jumps into a hug, both of us swinging around a couple tis from the montum in the wonky gravity of this space as we giggle. with relief, and her with pride. I set her back down and give her a kiss before asking, "What about creating or moving the ridians? They seed to be in fine locations, at least to . But that really doesn't an much considering I have no fra of reference."

"You lucked out there, actually." She says after another kiss, "The placent of these original ones that were created during the tribulation are nearly perfect! If anything, there may actually be too many of them in your arms and legs, but that's just from a point of view of purely a spiritual cultivator. A normal person wouldn't have the spiritual bandwidth to actually power all of those little circles, but you? You're a powerhouse when it cos to absorbing and distributing Qi thanks to that combined technique of yours~. Anything else?"

I shake my head, the thrill of victory that I reached purely on my own despite going in almost blind a huge boon to my ego and psyche. It's nice to know all that floundering around and talking to myself wasn't in vain!!

With happy floating steps, I take Ios' hand and begin traveling to the start of the branch for the heart once more, willing and focusing my attention on the spot as it begins to stretch and deepen inside of the soul space.