The space is illuminated around us, partially because of my newly created island of light and partly because of the prismatic connection that is thrumming with power between and Sandra. The grotesque and malford hydra barely has a chance to react as that sparkling rainbow light blooms in power before the cracked shell of Sandra rushes them almost faster than I can track, her energy spinning up with a high-pitched whirring sound. In the blink of an eye, an explosion worthy of a historical war docuntary unfolds in front of , the air around us engulfed in the shockwave from her streaking impact, a resounding *BOOM!* shaking past my presence which makes weak in the knees.
I flare so Qi of my own, chanting under my breath, "[Moonlight Body Strengthening]", before rushing forward to join in the delightful fray. My winged spear replica, seemingly made out of either soul energy or just my imagination while we're in this fucked up space, arcs out in front of to sever the head of Taylor as she's distracted, her eyes going blank as a hideous scream escapes her dying lips. I turn to see Sandra's form simply crashing against the head of Mary, burning her in so kind of divine fire or maybe her pure energy before dashing away to rush in like a wrecking ball once again.
Jennean's head recovers from the sudden dual assault and lashes down to bear its deep, arm length fangs toward , a shrill hiss darting from her mouth as it opens wide as the sll of decay and rot waft from her gaping maw. I pull away from the decapitated head in a backwards sorsault, just in ti for those teeth to sail past , nearly pricking their points against the skin of my legs. As I land, I look back to the monster as a small gasp leaves . Taylor's stump starts to bubble and gurgle in sickening noises before two new, identical heads push out from its aty trunk. I nearly gag at the sight, recoiling in disgust as the sll of rotten flesh mixed with the coppery tang of blood fills the air.
Even Sandra backs off at the display of regeneration as she flits to my side, the both of us observing the snarling smiles of the now four headed beast in front of us as they gnash and bite the air in amusent. I turn to Sandy, and I can tell through our bond that she isn't going to be able to keep this up forever. Hell, I'm already devoting nearly all the Qi I can gather to empower her like this and keep her out of her resting state, not to ntion how she was even able to wake up in the first place. No, we're missing sothing about this fight, and I need to figure out what it is before the clock on Sandra's assistance runs out.
"Sandra," I say out, my voice distorted and wavy in this liminal space, "I don't know what we need to do to put them down permanently, can you try and hold them back for a bit? Until I figure out what is going to work?"
The amorphous blob bobs up and down once before streaking away in a nearly blinding light of silver, gold, and rainbow colors as she once more crashes and writhes against the monster. I decide to take Ios' and Akiko's advice to heart and dump everything but around 300 points into Wisdom, hoping that the added ntal power will help here.
You have used 900 points on Wisdom! Wisdom is now 1,600!
Hidden Quest Complete!
[Hidden Quest: Mind over Matter.
Reach over 1,000 score in any ntal stat before any physical stat.
Reward: Unique Active Skill [Quick Thought], 250 Ability Points, 500 Shop Points, 25 Skill Points.]
Available Ability Points: 582
Available Shop Points: 7,550
Available Skill Points: 287
[Quick Thought]: At a heavy impact to stamina usage, slow down your perceived perception of ti while allowing your mind to work at full capacity. Higher Wisdom scores will lessen the impact of the stamina usage.
Well, isn't that neat? I decide to keep hold of the extra points as backup and imdiately fire off the skill. Everything instantly slows down to a snail's pace, even the lightning quick movents of Sandra's soul are now sothing that I can easily keep track of. I flip up my status screen and shudder at the amount of stamina leaving , nearly 1k every few seconds! I dismiss it all and close in on my mind, searching desperately for an answer to how we're supposed to overco this trial.
I think back to what Ios and Akiko were telling before I entered the glyph, how much emphasis they put on telling they either loved or that I'm deserving of love. All the swell of positive beats thudding through as those words tried to pierce into my mind, but did I accept them? Truly? And is that what this trial is supposed to be? Not so contest of power and blood, not so enemy to overco, but truly accepting that these negative feelings - the confusion, loneliness, hurt, and hate - are not sothing worth carrying anymore, knowing that I am more than that. That I've grown past all of it in the brief ti that I've been away from Earth?
But what does that truly an for ? Am I still the sa woman as that Earth ? Sure, I feel the sa, I can track the changes in real ti either with the system logs or just from recounting my own growth at Akiko's estate, or with candid conversations with Ios and the other girls. But like a ship of Theseus, am I the sa person at the end of all of those trials and titles and buffs? Do I lose myself from trying to cling onto the weakest parts of , desperate to keep whatever I think is the core of myself whole?... No.
I breathe out ntally, the air from my lungs slowly dissipating thanks to the ntal ti difference. No, I am not that weak person. That girl who was so terrified of being left alone that she would submit herself to these people's abuse. The girl who was so on edge, always awaiting the next disaster that she would rather suffer in silence and endure than be set free from her constraints and mistreatnt at the hands of those she sought comfort from.
Ios' voice cos back to mind as she told the first thing that finally makes the lesson sink ho for here and now: "...that you are worth loving, and you deserve to love yourself..." An explosion of air erupts from as understanding clicks into my being. All these... parasites ever did was sink in and feed on my weakness. On my faulty and warped mind. Trying to impose their wills, values, or their own hangups on to a desperate and broken girl. I know that already. I know that they never truly loved , not like I did for them. But I never, not once, tried to really absorb what Ios, Akiko, even Sandra back then, were saying to . That those weaknesses do not define , that my trauma is rely what happened to , not what makes , . That I am always deserving of love, and that in spite of all of my failures, mistakes, and flaws, I need to love myself first.
"And I do." I say out in an icy cold voice, my words warping and shuddering the space around us. The bleeding hydra and slightly more fractured Sandra back away from each other, the feeling of pride and love from the latter nearly overwhelming while the look of absolute fear on the forr drives to euphoric joy. "I love myself, in spite of what you three tried to do to . You took advantage of a weak, poor girl who was trying her best at life. A young woman who was desperate for affection and not strong enough to speak her mind. But that isn't any longer. I have true friends, people who care about properly and wholly. And..." I say as I turn to Sandra's form, our bond nearly washing out the space around us as the monster screams in the background, "I have soone who loves more than I even know what to do with. How to even address. But I know now that it's love, pure and true just from her being here in her wounded form and coming to help against you."
I turn back toward the screeching Grecian abomination, their wails wallowing inharmoniously, "You pieces of filth. Wastes of human and taphysical space. Will never. Know. THAT!" Read complete version only at novelꞁire
With a flash, I release all I can of the emotions of love, hope, and peace that Sandra, Ios, Akiko, Jun LI, Gerra, and even Samantha have shown to . The countless playful monts, the annoying yet still invigorating teasing that makes smile, the deep and thoughtful discussions which see my cares and concerns properly addressed and answered, and the insanely powerful emotions born between the bond of Sandra and myself. Love, as I lay with Akiko, her tails lapping over my side while we nuzzle into each other. Hope, as Ios tells that I am stronger and healing every day, her chirpy voice laced with concern and care. Peace, as I ditate with Sandra's form while she heals slowly but surely.
Every mont recalled burns and steams another welt of vitality away from the cornered monstrosity, their now six heads - apparently Sandra goes hard~ - recoil in the light as all of those mories play out around us, co-opting the space to show my own ho movies now. As they shrink back in blinding pain, their large, car sized paws coming up to shield their eyes as their heads fall to the ground. I activate [Unending Flow of the River] and [Moonlight Body Strengthening] in tandem, my stamina reserves dangerously plumting even with the buff to DEX and CON. Power surges through , as I feed just enough Qi to keep Sandy awake - I hope - before I take a single step forward. Raw, pure power arcing off my form as space distorts and cracks in silvery sheens of spiderwebs and voided portals to nothingness, the ground straining from the weight of my impacts.
"Thank you for teaching what not to look for in a partner, and that its okay to move on. Now... get the fuck out of my mind." I say as I rush forward using all my strength and crater the space around . I dash up in a flash, just above one of the downed paws before I dash in a straight line and sever all six of the downed heads with my boosted speed from both skills. The crook of the sickle slicing through all of their necks cleanly and perfectly before Sandra follows up behind , emitting a radiant bath of fire that I can sense is full of pure, unadulterated love for , burning the stumps of the downed foe as Sandra's nearly inhuman wail of victory echoes out in the void. All six of the faces, a couple repeats among them, go flying off into the inky blackness as the body below disintegrates into nothing. A weight I didn't know I was carrying lifts off my soul, making sit down and breathe out in newfound lightness and clarity.
In a rapid mont of realization, I quickly shut off all of the techniques and skills, even dismissing the spear just in case as I rush to Sandra's side and start using [Steady Breathing lvl 5] to begin recovering my stamina. "Oh my god, oh my god, thank you!! Thank you for showing up, I didn't even know you could do that yet!! Are you okay?? Show anything that hurts!" I rapidly dance around the orb of Sandra, my mind going a mile a minute as I look at several new cracks around her healing carapace. I frown heavily but know that I can't really do or say anything back to her about it. If she didn't show up when she did, I may have actually given in and just gave up seeing as how those repressed mories really did a whammy on . I instead focus nearly all Qi accumulation to the newer fractures, hoping that they can be healed faster, relieved to see the new bump in Wisdom coming in clutch for this.
As we sit there in silence for a few monts, she does send a few more feelings, the excitent of the mont seeming to have winded her too. A lot of love, reassurance, and then weariness as the Qi begins to sink in and start healing her once more. I nod back to her, "It's okay. Thank you so much for coming to help , Sandy. I really needed you there and, like you always do, you showed up just in the nick of ti~. I'll heal you a bit more then you go rest, I know what I need to do here now. I love you." Our bond sparkles and shines with the admission, as I can feel the sa sensation flowing back to in droves~.
After a few monts of careful attention and focused Qi distribution, Sandra's shell is back to 'pre ntal monster fight' levels, and I urge her to go back and rest. She, of course, refuses even though she obviously doesn't say so in so many words, but nothing I say or try to explain shies her from staying right by my side. I sigh, smiling slightly at one of the core things I always rember about her, that overbearing nature when she thought I was in trouble. "Fine," I say, "but if you are getting too wounded then we back up and plan, got it?"
I feel a 'Yes' pop happily through the connection, making smile happily as a new presence descends into the arena. Inky black and suffocating, a foul wind of thoughts and emotions waft past both of us, the intensity of it nearly blotting out the light of Sandra and our connection as I'm wracked by mories. Every hesitation born from anxiety, every thought or action scrutinized in my brain leading only to indecision and despair, every thought and plan of future events crippling into immobilization. I gasp as the new form solidifies before us, all the tendrils of darkness and shadow coalescing into a vaugely shaped form. Panic.
"So," The being begins, its voice echoey and discordant in the space around us, like the very weight of it will bring about so new reason to fear, reason to break down, "You admit that you love yourself. Cute, in a way. But I wonder how much that revelation will help you, or how much it will wane, when you realize how broken and shattered you were, how futile and fleeting this newfound solidity will last for you."
I shrug off the words, forming the spear once more in my hand before kneeling down into a fighting stance, my voice angry and full of contempt, "We've already went over how I'm not the sa since Earth, so if that's all you've got then this will be a quickie~."
The being pauses, reeling back its oppressive nature before it concedes, "Perhaps. But even if you are changed, you still suffer and fear. You still feel the weight of inaction and hesitance. You still are brought low by , repeatedly and thoroughly, once given proper motivation. Or do you deny those tis here on Mara that you've fallen to the ground in failure?" Tendrils of inky blackness shoot forward before I can react as Sandra moves herself in front of , forming so kind of shield between herself and the assault. Fear laces up , unsure of how much she can withstand or what its doing to her.
"Thats right," The being says softly, "That's the ticket~." Instantly, those lines of darkness gain more points, jagged and vicious as they lace around and past Sandra's defense forcing to move. I jump from my spot as one hits where I just was, denting and cracking the ground from the impact, before a mad dash sees running off to avoid more and more of them with Sandra in tow. All the being does is laugh, the fear and panic trickling down deeper into , giving more and more strength to its efforts. One whip like appendage streaks forward past Sandra and nicks my leg before I can react, the blinding cold pain making cry out in the space.
The second it touches , the thought of landing here on Mara cos back unbidden, playing out in perfect clarity once again. The despair, hopelessness, and confusion which brought about my first panic attack since being here. Another jolt rocks my body as a lance of shadow spears my arm, Sandra unable to hold back the growing tide as I lay spasming on the floor. More mories, more tis that the fear and uncertainness crashed and rebounded through until it was reford into a debilitating, unmoving cacophony of indecision. Akiko as she lood over in the cave, learning about my soul's past, nearly welcoming that sa soul overtaking just to defeat Akiko.
"That's right~." The being clamors, hungry in its voice and its growing intensity, "You may have grown and changed, but this will always be a part of you, always your weakness and folly. What if you make the wrong choice? What if you move and act, only for sothing to change the math later? What if you send your sister out to die for you to learn a lesson?"
My eyes flare wide at the taunt, Qi flowing into like a furnace as the shadow tendrils are dispersed montarily. The being frowns back slightly, keeping its inky spears by its side for a mont as Sandra's form floats to , even more wounded than after the hydra fight which makes the beings words ring through my head once more. I debate activating [Quick Thought] again, but my stamina is still down to just about 5k after the hydra fight, not having nearly enough ti to recoup my losses.
No, we're going to have to do this one on the fly. Is it true what its saying? What even is it saying? "Sandra," I start to say, "I'm so sorry, but I need you to play defense just a little bit longer. I'll funnel everything I can into you, but if it gets too much then leave, okay?"
I'm t by a mixture of simple emotions, likely all she can create for now. A Yes, Yes, No. I take it to an that she's going to be staying regardless, which does make smile and help ease the straining weight that this monster is pushing onto . "Okay. Give em hell, hun~." With that, I feed as much Qi into Sandra as I can, so of her smaller cracks instantly healing from my bump into Wisdom as a wall of prismatic energy erupts in front of her. I gaze at the dazzling display, wondering if she is learning techniques or skills even now with her soul being so borked, before I shake my head and focus on the task at hand. With the symphony of countless barbs of shadow shattering against the rainbow-colored wall, I kneel down and think once again.
A raucous thundering of impacts suffocates the space as countless tendrils impact against the barrier Sandra is providing . I breathe deep a few tis, trying to will the sounds out of my mind as I focus in on what this emotion and feeling ans to . Before too long, I am lost in a mory from the past, from before things got so squirrely in my mind.
Dad in his long, straight red hair and green vibrant eyes showing how to shoot a rifle for the first ti. His baritone voice as he tells the ins and outs of what to do, how to load the magazine and rack the bolt, and where to aim on the target that is about 50 ft in front of us. His tall, 6ft 1in stature towers over like a skyscraper that I constantly seek approval, as I follow his instructions and prepare the .22 rifle. He nods in satisfaction, a happy smile on his face, as I finish preparing the 5 round magazine and placing it into the feeder slot underneath the bolt.
I prepare and focus, like he taught . Breathing in deep and clearing my mind before exhaling and pulling the trigger, the round sinking dead center of the target. "Who Hoo! Damn baby girl! My old eyes might be deceiving , you try that again and see if we can't get similar results!" He says triumphantly, jubilantly as he stands to my side. His praise showering in all the warm joy I could ever want.
Twice more I sink a solid hit, the sowhat loud POP of the rifle still not as hard to bear as his pistol that he showed once. The mory plays out to the fourth rack of the bolt, and that is where the trauma begins. The casing fails to co out, which I don't see as I turn and smile to dad. As I rack the last bullet into place, his hands whip out, placing one on the wooden underside of the gun and the other on my shooting wrist, just before it was about to sink into the trigger well.
A slight disappointnt crosses in his eyes, whether toward , him, or a bit of both, I can't tell, but his voice makes it all the more clear, "Alia, you cannot be joking around with stuff like this. Look," he says as he racks the bolt and then jiggles out the failed cartridge, "If that bullet were to have hit that casing, it would have exploded in your face honey. You have to alwaysbe locked in and attentive, you can't afford to miss a single detail when you're handling guns."
That mont, that feeling of disappointnt and doubt, mixed with the fragnted words that told I always had to be aware of myself and surroundings. That is the mont this monster was born, even if I couldn't ever understand it on Earth.
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