Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?! Chapter 421 - 414: A Counseling Relationship Built on Confro
Nan Zhubin added, "Just like those things you ntioned earlier: ’didn’t win the argunt,’ ’displeased with the behavior,’ ’what if I hadn’t done that,’ etc. I believe you’ve also experienced things that might have made you feel... ’annoyed.’"
Nan Zhubin softened his wording at first but imdiately intensified it: "Even things you might ’regret.’
"What specifically were those things?"
The visitor’s mask suddenly puffed up a few tis, likely because of deep breaths.
This mask was really troubleso, blocking most of the expressions on the other person’s face.
Fortunately, Nan Zhubin could read a lot from the visitor’s eyes and body language.
He saw the visitor maintaining a leaning-forward posture with elbows on thighs, pressing so hard that the elbows left two dents and a series of creases on the pants.
At the sa ti, his shoulders were thrust forward forcefully, while his chin seed to draw back.
"Is it story-telling ti now?" the visitor retorted to Nan Zhubin.
"Do you want to hear about specific things in my daily life? For to tell you so heartfelt words?"
Nan Zhubin spread his hands, palms forward, making a "relax" gesture.
"If this makes you uncomfortable, we can pause."
The consultant strategically took a step back.
"Of course, I feel uncomfortable!" The visitor quickly filled the step back Nan Zhubin took, "It’s my first ti here today. I’ve paid such an expensive consultation fee and waited for so long. I must know if you’re qualified for to say these things, right?"
But Nan Zhubin wanted this kind of unplanned blind advance.
"Even though you signed that confidentiality agreent, not just anyone can say anything, right?"
"Isn’t the ’insomnia’ problem more important right now? As long as I can sleep well at night, I can focus during the day, right?"
For every sentence the visitor spoke, Nan Zhubin nodded once.
And the crucial [Confrontation] began at this mont.
"You think the [insomnia] problem is more important?"
"Of course!"
Nan Zhubin continued nodding, indicating he received the visitor’s emotions and suggestions.
Then, very suddenly.
"You think the [insomnia] problem is more important, but did you notice that when you talked about the [insomnia] problem just now, you used a simple sentence to describe your situation."
"When you said that, you were leaning against the back of the chair, arms crossed casually."
"But when you talked about the [difficulty in concentrating], you said a lot, with lengthy descriptions, lengthy examples, and your own feelings."
"During this process, you were very close to , looking directly at , more engaged, hoping I would hear your perspective."
"Did you notice that?"
The visitor, Nan Zhihao—was taken aback.
"We all say ’bystanders see clearer.’ There are so things in our hearts that we are unaware of, overshadowed by other thoughts. But these things reveal themselves in our usual way of expression and behavior, which is the significance of psychological consultation."
Nan Zhubin rested his elbows on the armrest of the sofa, fingers interlocked in front of his chest.
"You think the [insomnia] problem is more important; if you sleep well at night, you can focus during the day. Logically, that makes sense."
Nan Zhubin affird the visitor’s previous words, took another step back, but this step was a gathering force.
"But like we just said, everyone’s ’symptoms’ have different inherent ’causes.’
"For you, distraction during the day is because you’re thinking. And at night, these things still occupy your thoughts."
"Could it be that your [insomnia] is also caused by this repeated ’thinking?’ "
"Could it be that the cause of your lack of focus during the day is also the cause of your insomnia?"
Nan Zhubin looked at Nan Zhihao, the visitor who shared his surna.
Watching as the other person’s gaze gradually solidified.
Watching as the other person’s shoulders suddenly tensed, then drooped little by little.
[Confrontation] was a success.
...
This [Confrontation] might seem sowhat aggressive, but it’s actually a part of building a counseling relationship.
Unlike the strategies Nan Zhubin previously employed through [Positive Attention] and [Support] leaning towards [Humanism], different visitors require different suitable approaches.
Of course, the current Nan Zhihao could also be approached with a [Humanism]-oriented thod, but based on his behavior since entering the consultation room and his background information, using the current thod would be relatively less efficient.
For Nan Zhihao, a complete consultation using [Humanism] might not earn his trust, and an unstable counseling relationship might lead to him not returning for the next consultation.
Therefore, Nan Zhubin chose the current thod.
It seed to be effective.
The pace of today’s consultation wasn’t smooth; there was a key question that should have been asked from the beginning, which Nan Zhubin hadn’t asked yet.
Now was the perfect ti.
"You ntioned before that you are preparing for your graduation thesis, which you suspect is causing your [insomnia]?"
The visitor nodded but then hesitated: "Maybe it’s just part of the reason..."
The visitor didn’t further explain the specific causes.
Nan Zhubin said, "In other words, you have a concept in your mind that your [insomnia] and [difficulty concentrating] have a timing point of occurrence, right?"
The visitor hesitated for a mont and nodded.
"How long has it been happening?"
"Five months."
The answer ca quickly.
Too quickly.
Like he has been consciously keeping track of the ti.
Nan Zhubin understood he had touched a core issue.
He looked into the visitor’s eyes: "Five months ago, did anything particularly significant happen?"
...
Ssss—
A deep breath.
The visitor was the one who did this.
He breathed so forcefully that Nan Zhubin could see the mask almost against the visitor’s face, outlining a silhouette.
The occurrence of breathing difficulties was naturally expected.
The visitor quickly adjusted his mask, seemingly wanting to give himself more space but struggled to find the right way.
After hesitating for a mont, he removed the mask.
Revealing half of a sweat-streaked face.
Now it’s past spring and into sumr, wearing a mask continuously like that was indeed inappropriate.
And the face beneath the mask, while not particularly handso, was square and proper.
The visitor wiped his face and said to Nan Zhubin, "Teacher Nan, can I talk first about the things I think about when I can’t concentrate?"
"Of course." Nan Zhubin nodded.
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