Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?! Chapter 789 665: Li Lingling's Growth Integration Review2

"I want to change, but I know I'm still missing the most crucial opportunity right now. So no matter what the outco today is, I hope to catch it, instead of being dragged by it again."

"Moreover..."

After saying the above words with a tense face, Li Lingling forced a smile again: "...If I'm really not ready, Teacher Nan, you'll help , right?"

Although Li Lingling is smiling now, her smile is very stiff and unsightly.

But this attitude is extrely beautiful to Nan Zhubin.

Of course, at this mont, he offered support: "Of course."

Pouring Li Lingling another glass of water to ease her tension, Nan Zhubin reminded: "This is the last ti to drink water. Next, we need to prepare for hypnosis. If you need to go to the bathroom or anything else, you must solve it before hypnosis."

It's important to know that the urge to urinate has a significant impact on the subconscious.

"And while our body prepares, we can also systematically review early growth and remaining confusion—also to build a clearer psychological foundation for hypnosis."

This is the final stage of "integration review."

Through reinforcent of growth experiences, accumulating psychological energy to cope with trauma recollections, this is the application of the resource activation technique in trauma treatnt. It also allows Li Lingling to feel her progress and accumulate enough psychological energy to face the upcoming recollection.

...

Upon hearing this requirent, Li Lingling's expression beca more serious.

A bit tense, but no matter; in the subsequent conversation, Nan Zhubin can help Li Lingling gradually let go of this tension, leaving only the seriousness of the consultation.

"First, let's review the path you've taken from the first consultation to now, shall we?"

Nan Zhubin's voice is gentle and steady, like a pair of soft hands gently combing through her thoughts.

"During the first consultation, you felt you 'didn't deserve help,' thought that the pain from work was 'deserved,' and even actively pursued self-punishnt—such a mindset also interfered with you in the disaster area. At that ti, you worked at high intensity until you fainted at the dical point. Thinking back now, what do you think was your core anguish back then?"

Li Lingling closed her eyes, frowning slightly.

It's like touching a distant and unfamiliar self.

The feelings she had suppressed were gradually erging in the safe consultation environnt.

After a while, she answered: "It was... survivor guilt, right?"

Li Lingling used the answer given by Nan Zhubin in previous consultations and asked Nan Zhubin.

Nan Zhubin didn't answer but threw the question back with his gaze: What do you think?

"That's right, it's survivor guilt." Li Lingling pulled at the corners of her mouth towards Nan Zhubin, her gaze involuntarily falling.

"I used to always think, during that flood, why didn't anyone else survive, only ... I survived. Like my father, mother, brother, and neighbors in the village were all swept away by the flood, only I was rescued."

"This guilt... It makes afraid to be happy." Li Lingling took a deep breath.

"It also makes afraid to accept kindness from others." Li Lingling nodded slightly while speaking. "I feel that only if I let myself suffer, it's considered 'atonent'—as if only collapsing at the work post can be worthy of those who didn't survive."

"And... having those ssy relationships was also because of this mindset."

At this point, Li Lingling raised her head again and tugged at the corners of her mouth towards Nan Zhubin.

The above are all the insights Li Lingling gained in consultations with Nan Zhubin before going to the disaster area. However, at that ti, she didn't have enough psychological energy to summarize it and speak out in the first-person perspective.

Nan Zhubin was very pleased inside but didn't give any feedback on Li Lingling's emotions, continuing the conversation as a complete bystander.

Nan Zhubin asked: "Then, how did the experience in the disaster area affect your 'guilt'?"

Upon hearing this question, Li Lingling bowed her head and thought for a while.

"The disaster area made understand that my 'living'... might have another aning... Yes, I felt the aning."

Li Lingling's pupils lost focus for a brief mont, falling into mory: "I took care of Niannian. She was only five years old, the flood destroyed her ho, just like it did mine."

"When she cried holding my neck and said 'I'm afraid mom doesn't want ,' I seed to see myself when I was little. I folded paper boats with her and told her 'the water will recede, and the ho will rebuild,' feeling..." Li Lingling took a deep breath, "… feeling like I was talking to my younger self."

Nan Zhubin nodded slightly.

"Besides Niannian, I also helped other children. Watching their changes... I think surviving wasn't accidental, maybe... just to be there at soone's need, just like those rescuers and dical staff who saved ."

Li Lingling's voice trembled, but when not trembling, it was extraordinarily steady.

"Also, during occasional self-exposure in the disaster area, talking to Niannian and Nian's mother about my childhood experiences... I didn't feel like 'exposing myself is dangerous and shaful' as I used to. I... don't know what this counts as, but it's also part of growth, right?"

Nan Zhubin didn't dwell on individual answers but nodded in support: "Of course, it counts, and it's a very significant growth."

Nan Zhubin then delved deeper, guiding her to focus on other dinsions of change in her life: "Besides guilt, you ntioned reflections on emotional relationships, work thods, and even personal values. Is that right?"

Nan Zhubin paused, giving Li Lingling enough ti to absorb the information.

Then Nan Zhubin said: "How do these reflections manifest in your current life? Previously, you either heavily depended on or heavily rejected interpersonal relationships—for example, regarding Liu Jiahang, initially feeling he 'understood you' and getting close without reservation; then when finding him not to be perfect, wanting to escape imdiately. How about now?"

As for Liu Jiahang, who knows how this forr consulting supervisor is now, whether he found a new job, and whether he is still in Beidu.

This question was really deep, with a strong sense of exposure and sha.

But with previous groundwork, Li Lingling talked about it calmly.

"There actually hasn't been any particularly big change now, but I feel like I want to change." Li Lingling smiled, "I indeed used to treat interpersonal relationships as you said, either heavily relying or heavily rejecting them without a middle ground."

"And now... I'm beginning to try to find the middle ground."

Saying this, Li Lingling felt a bit fortunate: "Also, thanks to my work in the disaster area... I was comnded by the hospital, which gave new impressions to those colleagues with whom I had bad relationships before; and then I rotated to a new departnt, changed environnts, allowing to try interacting with colleagues in new ways."

Not only Li Lingling, but Nan Zhubin also felt fortunate hearing this.

In psychological consultations, often what troubled consultants in later stages wasn't the visitor's own state but the influence of the visitor's surrounding real environnt.

Li Lingling's surrounding real changes could be said to be very positive.

Nan Zhubin imdiately asked another key question: "So who do you think 'Li Lingling' is now?"

This question is related to the lack of stable self-identity in visitors with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Li Lingling's answer to this question determined the degree of her integration with the "fragnted self."

Li Lingling fell silent for a mont before finally saying: "She... no, 'I'."

Li Lingling looked up at Nan Zhubin: "'I' am a nurse, also soone who once got hurt but is now trying to heal,"

This answer seed a bit hesitant and overly concise.

But it's enough, just right for solving this issue in the upcoming hypnosis.