Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?! Chapter 862: 702: Apology (Part 2)

Capítulo 862: Chapter 702: Apology (Part 2)

However, even if you don’t write it down, just saying it aloud, turning “thoughts” into “speech,” actually has a similar effect.

Although the effect may be weakened, it does exist.

The visitor paused for a mont, as if feeling the sensation of a brief inner change.

Then, as if discovering a new land, he spoke with a hint of longing: “Teacher Nan, is there any way to argue against my second idea?”

The visitor’s second idea — referring to a university graduate who studied for several more years, ending up at the sa starting point as those who dropped out early to work, and even being inferior in terms of salary and position height.

Such a situation.

However, when faced with this idea, Nan Zhubin sighed.

…

“Regarding this, you must have heard many similar statents — such as that studying can give you a better future, that the current difficulties are only temporary;”

“Or studying can cultivate your thinking, give you a keener cognition, bringing more opportunities to your future.”

These are common motivational sayings.

Of course, they are not just motivational sayings.

While Nan Zhubin was speaking, the visitor kept nodding.

“You currently experience inner imbalance due to comparisons, and I know you hope for to say sothing to change how you perceive your current surroundings.”

Nan Zhubin’s voice lowered.

“— But what I want to say is, your present cannot be changed.”

“You feel that after studying for over a decade, putting in more effort than others, you should be living more steadily and decently, but instead face pressures of job setbacks, possibly getting laid off, watching those who entered factories early earn steadily, inevitably feeling imbalanced, and even questioning whether all those years of study were in vain — this feeling is really normal, I can say that every graduate encounters this issue.”

“But studying indeed doesn’t give you immunity from setbacks, nor lets you avoid all problems. In a way, it might even present you with more challenges.”

“I can only say that the abilities brought to you by studying in terms of learning and logical thinking — such as the ability to independently consult old intranet docunts, organizing data by yourself, or even your capacity to withstand stress, are all real.”

“You are able to persist in submitting over a hundred resus without giving up, staying up late pondering job loopholes and revising repeatedly, this is your own resilience, unrelated to your education, and it’s your most valuable trait.”

“You find it difficult now, not because you aren’t good enough, nor is studying useless, it’s just you’re new to the workforce, and haven’t adapted to this gap where ‘effort doesn’t necessarily lead to imdiate success’, and haven’t endured the newcor’s adaptation period.”

Nan Zhubin soothingly said: “I know you’re feeling really troubled now, but you really have done well already, don’t pressure yourself to ‘get better imdiately’, take it slow and it will be fine.”

An unreasonable belief, although the argunt supporting it isn’t necessarily “unreasonable.”

There are objectively real factors present.

To deconstruct the unreasonable belief, those unreasonable argunts can be confronted, argued, and dissolved by Nan Zhubin.

But for the objectively existing real factors, they will not disappear in a short ti, and the visitor is bound to generate emotions in facing the situation.

The consultant can only calm the visitor’s emotions.

Of course, Nan Zhubin could also give examples, talking about those dropouts living badly too and struggling.

But such a statent is, in itself, a kind of [generalization from a small sample].

It might be helpful to the visitor for his current situation, but Nan Zhubin decided against it after thinking.

Fortunately—

Even though Nan Zhubin couldn’t argue against this argunt, the three argunts the visitor used to prove ‘I’m a failure’ had toppled two, enough to alleviate the visitor’s current situation.

This ti, the silence on the other end of the phone lasted a remarkably long ti.

After about ten breaths of ti, the visitor’s voice finally returned: “This… is indeed the case. I chose another path, hence must bear what this choice brings to now.”

Nan Zhubin nodded: “That’s right.”

“Still, after talking to you, Teacher Nan, I do feel a lot better.” The visitor said, “I still feel I have many… areas of inadequacy, but not to the extre of saying ‘I’m a failure’ anymore.”

The visitor proactively reevaluated: “Now, if I were to reevaluate, maybe… about a level of 5.”

A reduction of 4 points.

Nan Zhubin gently exhaled a breath of relief.

Now there’s just one unreasonable belief left.

Nan Zhubin continued to guide, “You also ntioned the last concern earlier, about potentially disappointing your parents, rember?”

This ti, the visitor’s tone was much lighter: “I don’t feel like that anymore. Although I might not make them truly proud, neither am I likely to disappoint them much… 5 points.”

This score is in a neutral position.

Different unreasonable beliefs often aren’t entirely independent.

Successfully challenging an unreasonable belief, the gains obtained can impact other unreasonable beliefs, creating a ripple effect, which is often the case.

…

This online consultation can roughly end here.

Nan Zhubin concluded: “You have been tornted by negative emotions for quite so ti, and you were in a state of collapse when you called today. According to our conversation just now, your core problems are threefold—”

“— First, excessively amplifying the worry of ‘being laid off’; Second, overly self-negating; Third, based on the previous two ideas, feeling you let down your parents’ expectations.”

Upon hearing this, the visitor began to feel embarrassed again: “Sorry, Teacher, I really don’t know what happened when I called today… I’m not usually like this.”

Nan Zhubin chuckled softly: “It’s alright.”

“The teacher who answered before was a female teacher, right? May I apologize to her in a while?”

“Of course.” Nan Zhubin nodded.

He was pleased to witness the visitor’s change.

However, before handing over the phone, Nan Zhubin hadn’t completed his last point.

“I know, even after sorting this today, you may still worry about getting laid off, and there may be monts where self-doubt erges again — it’s normal, anxiety doesn’t disappear all at once, nor do you have to force yourself to stop worrying imdiately.”

“Anyone of similar background to yours, facing your current situation, would feel this way. Those completely unaffected are the minority.”

Nan Zhubin’s tone was straightforward: “But since we’ve talked so much today, I do hope I can bring you so gain. Like the [ABC model] we just used, the thod of scoring irrational thoughts — whenever you face similar negative emotions or similar concerns, you can try rational emotional correction on your own.”

“If your emotions later beco anxious, collapse again, or you encounter new confusions difficult to sort out, you can always call our ‘Employee Assistance’ ergency hotline.”

“Of course, the best situation is you can gradually learn to correct your emotions using today’s thod, regain confidence to face difficulties — ultimately, the one who truly helps you is yourself.”

Nan Zhubin offered the final [Support]: “Growth for newcors in the workplace is inherently repeated, never smooth sailing, nobody can suddenly beco calmly poised. Don’t consider future occurrences of negative emotions to an today’s sorting was in vain, or you haven’t progressed. Emotional fluctuations are not your fault, nor do they an you aren’t good enough, it’s just a normal reaction everyone experiences in face of stress, and a necessary part of growth.”

“The thod I taught today isn’t to completely eliminate these emotions but to ensure that if you face them again, you won’t be as panic-stricken as today, or stuck in a loop. Even rembering ‘scoring thoughts, finding reasons to argue’ to calm for a few minutes is progress.”

“Take it slow, accept there will be emotional repetitions, accept that growth entails bumps, diligently handling every task at hand is the best state.”

…

After summarizing this consultation, Nan Zhubin handed the phone to the receptionist, a master’s student, who had been cald down by Mo Kai.

Then Nan Zhubin noticed, Chonghui and other project team mbers had returned at so point.