Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?! Chapter 957 750: Terrifying Thoughts (Part 2)

He quickly continued: "Looking back now... with Fangfang... I feel there's a lot I feel guilty about."

Before Nan Zhubin could press further, Chen Lizhou, as if being chased by sothing and eager to vent, swiftly said: "I've been in sales for so many years, used to seeing how people's thoughts are hidden, and have gotten used to putting interests first in everything."

"Sotis, I even apply this thinking to our marriage... using the ways of dealing with clients to figure out Fangfang."

At this point, Chen Lizhou paused.

"It's not just that."

"For work, to close deals, and to entertain clients, I often drink until late at night... Sotis clients drag to ssy places, and I also voluntarily take them there."

"A few tis, I almost did things that would betray her... No, maybe it's already considered betrayal."

Chen Lizhou looked at Nan Zhubin, not avoiding eye contact.

"So of these things... happened when I first stayed in Beidu, in a different city, and a few tis after we got married."

"It wasn't until we had a daughter and my resources improved, and I no longer had to harm my body to entertain clients, that I finally stopped."

"These things make feel guilty towards Fangfang..." Chen Lizhou opened his mouth.

"But... there's also grievance and dissatisfaction."

These are two completely opposite and conflicting emotions.

Nan Zhubin maintained the posture of a listener, nodding gently.

Letting Chen Lizhou continue to speak.

"I feel I've done well already, I work hard to support the family, even if I've had bad thoughts, I never actually did anything to betray her, I've been very restrained—these can serve as proof, proof that I've given a lot for this family, for her."

"So... when she said she wanted to go back to her hotown, I felt... she was denying ."

Chen Lizhou suddenly widened his eyes, his facial expression once again showing signs of collapse.

"I feel... she was denying all my efforts, denying everything I've given to this family, denying all these years of persistence."

This is the mont to pause.

...

From a self-exploration perspective, Chen Lizhou shared many new things, revealing many new conflicts.

He also displayed many new triggers of [Dissociation].

For example, the current [self-denial] and [self-justification].

From the recent narrative, Chen Lizhou feels "selfish" and "sorry towards his wife" internally.

Thus he feels guilty.

But at the sa ti, he feels wronged for his contributions.

These conflicting emotions have long been suppressed deep inside, unable to find relief. As it stands, these emotions will greatly impact Chen Lizhou's ntal bearing.

Which would then lead to [Dissociation].

In past consultations, Chen Lizhou never ntioned this; from his own account, he hasn't thought about it for a long ti; even when he recently recalled it, he consciously felt "unable to bear it."

Thus, Nan Zhubin needs to help Chen Lizhou confront this conflict, rather than escape through [Dissociation].

...

Nan Zhubin leaned forward slightly, locking eyes with Chen Lizhou, engaging eye contact.

This allows the visitor to directly feel the safety of being "noticed and accompanied."

"Let's take a break here for a mont."

Chen Lizhou was taken aback, feeling he was just getting into it.

But in Nan Zhubin's eyes, the other party was slipping into an unfathomable depth.

As a consultant, he needs to stabilize the visitor's state.

"Let's take a deep breath. Co, follow my rhythm."

"Inhale—exhale—very good, once more."

"Inhale—exhale—"

Watching as the fluctuating elents on the person's face gradually stabilized, yet without hardening as if covered by a mask.

Nan Zhubin asked: "How do you feel now?"

Chen Lizhou was startled, as if he suddenly realized sothing.

"Sorry, Teacher Nan." Chen Lizhou gently shook his head, "I... couldn't control myself. Whenever I think of these things, I beco strange. That's why I told you I couldn't recall these alone..."

Nan Zhubin gently waved his hand to indicate no need for an apology.

"That's the role I need to play, and I'm glad to keep you in the present of our conversation."

Nan Zhubin gently opened his hand, indicating: "Do you think we can continue?"

He handed the decision to the visitor. Although there were gains, it shouldn't be rushed.

Chen Lizhou lowered his eyes, experienced a slight self-reflection, and nodded.

"Where did I get to?"

Nan Zhubin reminded: "You felt that your wife's request to return to her hotown was denying you."

"…Yes."

Chen Lizhou pursed his lips.

The conversation was redirected for the second ti.

"With this thought, I beca increasingly unwilling to talk to her. Our lives together... also beca more bland, as plain as water."

"Sotis we only say what's necessary and related to life the whole day."

Chen Lizhou said: "From that ti, I focused on work. Didn't I tell you before that I often worked overti, and then while working overti, felt the 'unreality around '?"

Nan Zhubin nodded.

"That's when it started."

"And when the workload beca normal, I felt life after coming ho beca very... routine."

Chen Lizhou said softly: "After finishing work, I co ho, she's already made dinner, so we eat; after eating, she tidies up, helps the child with howork, and I go to the study to handle work."

"We don't disturb each other."

"In this situation... I..." Chen Lizhou's voice began to tremble again, making it hard to complete the next sentence, "I..."

Nan Zhubin opened his mouth, but then closed it.

This ti he did not intervene, letting Chen Lizhou wrestle with his inner self.

After two breaths, Chen Lizhou forced out: "I... had thoughts of divorce."

After saying this sentence, Chen Lizhou seed to have consud a great deal of energy, showing exhaustion.

"I feel this kind of life... doesn't make sense. I've given so much, yet cannot gain her understanding and recognition. The pressure this family gives far exceeds the joy it provides..."

Chen Lizhou gently shook his head: "But it's just a thought, just a fleeting idea. I can't bear to part with the children, nor... nor this decade-long relationship."

Chen Lizhou exhaled deeply.

"I know, Fangfang is a competent wife, even a perfect one."

Chen Lizhou's gaze softened a bit: "She works regularly, so she cos ho regularly too. Even when there are gatherings with friends or colleagues, she always cos ho on ti to take care of the kids, and take care of... ."

"Many colleagues complained about their wives giving them anxiety, but I never had that problem."

Chen Lizhou kept saying: "Fangfang raised the child single-handedly, never using a nanny, saying she doesn't feel at ease; never calling our parents to help, saying she's afraid of troubling them, more so afraid of generating conflicts, fearing I'd be caught in the middle."

"So on one hand, I feel life is too bland. On the other hand, I feel neither of us made mistakes bad enough to lead to unreconcilable ends."

"Sotis I'm troubled, wanting change, but unable to change."

"Until..."

Upon reaching here, Chen Lizhou swallowed.

"Until... when she left."

As if facing sothing terrifying, Chen Lizhou suddenly bent over. He pressed on his abdon, not for [Dissociation Blockade] this ti, but as if sothing inside him was fiercely impacting him.

"At that ti... I had a terrible thought."

"It was just a mont, ca and went." Chen Lizhou's voice began to tremble, "But it really appeared."

"I felt... from now on, I don't have to worry anymore."