Is it worth it?
Upon hearing these three words, Yu Wenye’s face imdiately darkened.
The air was thick with the scent of blood, and his gloomy expression made the bloody atmosphere even heavier, suffocatingly so.
So, Shang Ruyi almost gasped for breath as she looked at him, waiting for an answer that never ca, she asked again, word by word: "Is it worth it?"
Yu Wenye said: "She is the Empress, she watched grow up, I rescued her, it’s not about whether it’s worth it or not."
Shang Ruyi said: "She is also a woman!"
"...!"
Hearing this, Yu Wenye’s chest heaved violently as if pierced by sothing. He took a deep breath and said in a low voice: "What are you talking about?"
Shang Ruyi stared into his eyes, unblinking: "I’m talking about your heart!"
"..."
"You like her!"
Yu Wenye retorted angrily: "Are you crazy? She’s the Empress, apart from the Emperor, who in the world would dare—dare to like the Empress!"
That answer made Shang Ruyi let out a laugh.
This laugh made Yu Wenye’s eyes flicker even more, and she slowly said: "God Buddha can’t rein you in, let alone His Majesty the Emperor?"
"..."
"Moreover,"
She slowly walked up to Yu Wenye, slling the increasingly strong scent of blood emanating from him, as if torturing herself, she clearly stated: "Daring to love is one thing; actually loving is another."
"..."
"You, you love her; you love the Empress of the Da Ye Dynasty!"
These words were almost roared out with all her might by Shang Ruyi, her voice not loud, yet in this enclosed, empty room, it sounded like thunder, causing their ears to buzz as if struck by lightning, shaking their limbs apart.
After a long ti, she finally saw Yu Wenye’s suddenly pale face slowly turn to the side.
Shang Ruyi felt heartbroken.
Evidently, she already got her answer from his undeniable actions, so why did she self-destructively seek a known answer from him again? Could it be, she still harbored so fantasy?
But at this mont, what fantasy could still deceive herself?
She finally understood why all along, even though she and Yu Wenye shared intimacy, a marital relationship, she always felt a little distant, yet not lighthearted, rather an inescapable, helpless sense of having no place to rely.
Now, she finally understood.
Because Yu Wenye’s heart belonged to soone else.
She had always thought that person was Princess Xinyue, even though later, Yu Wenye told her he only considered the Princess as a sister, and she recalled that all along, Yu Wenye’s gaze upon the Princess wasn’t the gaze of soone enamored—
Except once.
That sole instance beca a long-standing uncertainty in Shang Ruyi’s heart; it was in Yann County, they had just left the governnt office and were ready to board the carriage, she saw an unprecedented passion in Yu Wenye’s eyes that she had never seen in his usual cold gaze, a rare occurrence.
At the ti, she thought he was looking at Princess Xinyue, but now she understood.
He was looking at Empress Jiang beside Princess Xinyue.
And all along, she had never seen Yu Wenye and Empress Jiang facing each other, so she didn’t know that beneath his cold exterior lay such tenderness, even passion, hidden from everyone, including herself, who was closest to him, yet at the brink of life and death, his choices couldn’t deceive.
Thinking of this, Shang Ruyi let out another soft laugh, and under this smile, her eye corners instantly turned red with the scorching surge from her heart: "Actually, I don’t need your answer. I was indeed blind before, the answer was right in front of , yet I insisted on being obscured; but now, I can see clearly, even the things I couldn’t see before, I’m seeing clearly now."
Yu Wenye’s brows furrowed deeply.
He slowly turned his head to look at Shang Ruyi, especially noticing her reddened eyes, there seed to be a trace of contradiction and struggle in his own eyes too, after a mont of silence, he said hoarsely: "It’s not like what you think."
Shang Ruyi smiled sadly, her tears glimring in her eyes.
"I can’t think of any other reason that would make a man risk his life, use his own body to shield soone from arrows!"
"..."
"Wanggang Village and Liang Shide’s n had an agreent long ago, this attack on the Eastern Capital must not alert the Yuwen Family. He is loyal to Xiao Yuansui, it’s impossible for him to openly defy Xiao Yuansui’s orders. So, his target wasn’t you, but the Empress!"
"..."
"Those three arrows, you took them for her!"
The more Shang Ruyi spoke, the more she found herself ridiculous.
She recalled at Xingluo Granary, having guessed that Hua Ziyang might be hiding in the shadows ready to strike against Yu Wenye, she deliberately stood in front of him, even spreading her arms at the last mont as the arrow was about to shoot, wanting to protect him.
All of this was seen by the people of Wanggang Village.
And now, the person she had desperately tried to protect, tried desperately to protect soone else tonight.
If they knew tonight Hua Ziyang’s three arrows were all blocked by Yu Wenye, would she beco a joke in their eyes?
Looking at Shang Ruyi’s mocking smile, Yu Wenye’s gaze grew heavier.
He took a deep breath and said, "Shang Ruyi, I—"
"Alright, there’s no need for you to say anymore," Shang Ruyi also took a deep breath, as if closing a gate to shut off the sarcastic smile on her face, glanced at Yu Wenye again, and said feebly, "If you continue talking, I really will have nowhere to hide my sha."
Yu Wenye looked deeply at her.
Shang Ruyi said, "Fortunately, fortunately, I haven’t reached the point where I can’t extricate myself with you. Knowing all this now, it can be counted as heaven saving ."
Yu Wenye furrowed his brow: "Ru Yi—"
Shang Ruyi looked up at him again, then took a step back to distance herself from his pungent sll of blood, but she clearly saw that fresh blood was slowly dripping down his back, forming stark blood flowers on the ground. She said, "You better get soone to take a look, it seems your wound has split open."
After speaking, she turned to leave.
As soon as she turned, her wrist was gripped by a hot and strong hand.
It was Yu Wenye, he grabbed her but made no further move, didn’t utter a word, rely holding her slender wrist firmly as if hoping this grip could keep her there.
With so effort, Shang Ruyi finally pulled her hand free from his grasp and said, "I will go help you call soone."
After finishing her words, she walked out without turning back.
She didn’t see that Yu Wenye, standing behind her, seed about to take a step forward to block her, but the three arrow wounds on his back completely burst open, dyeing his entire back crimson, and the act of grabbing her wrist had drained his last bit of strength. As he watched her leave, Yu Wenye heavily collapsed.
The village was in chaos once again.
But Shang Ruyi was no longer concerned; she left behind the chaotic footsteps and anxious emotions, walking alone with heavy steps slowly back to her room. It was still before dawn, and the candelabra that Tushere had lit earlier now had only a final puddle of wax left, the weak light on the wick seed to be struggling in its final monts.
But, it wouldn’t struggle for much longer.
As Shang Ruyi reached the table and sat down heavily, the breeze from her garnt suddenly extinguished the weak spark.
Instantly, the entire room fell into darkness.
She didn’t bother to relight other candelabras, instead letting herself drown in this darkness. Perhaps only this way, she wouldn’t have to face the blindness and foolish misplaced trust of these past days head-on.
How could she have been so blind, and so foolish to such an extent?
Could it be the price?
Choosing such a life, being able to protect herself and the loved ones, demands an equally significant, nearly life-costing price?
So, is this heartache considered worth it?
Shang Ruyi couldn’t help but laugh again; the more she laughed, the more ridiculous it seed, she even found herself breathless, continuously nodding: "It’s worth it, it’s worth it..."
In this world, nothing cos free; from the beginning, she traded regretful marriage cancellation and marrying again for everything she has now—it was originally a clear transaction, but she muddled it, giving too much emotion, leading to her self-indulgent affection and absurd outco these days.
Yet, in the end, it’s still worth it.
She is still alive, and her most concerned uncle and aunt, along with Wuzheng, also have people to protect them; for her, what’s not good about that?
As for emotions, they’ll naturally retract.
The more she thought this way, the more peaceful she felt.
It’s just that she felt unbearably cold, spreading from her chest to her limbs and bones, almost freezing her entirely.
She turned to look around, trying to find sothing warm, but saw nothing clear, lowering her head, she found on the table there were cold dishes recently sent by Tushere, and a pot of tea; she reached for it and it was still warm.
She quickly poured a cup and drank it down.
The warm tea quickly flowed down, although not enough to warm her limbs and bones completely, but it did make her feel sowhat comfortable. She smiled holding the teacup tightly, continuously convincing herself: all of this was worth it.
Worth it, worth it...
These two words, like a mantra, convinced her while also making her head gradually sink into drowsiness; her eyelids grew heavier, and considering she hadn’t slept for almost two days and nights continuously, she finally abandoned resistance, slowly closing her eyes, letting herself be engulfed by the tide-like fatigue.
Just as she was losing consciousness, she seed to hear a faint sound of footsteps.
Very light, walking right to her side...
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