Thinking about this, she suddenly found it sowhat amusing.
Yu Wenye has indeed always been open and honest; he might conceal things but would never deceive. He might overlook things, but he would never give up. He’s always just been himself, from the first ti they t, when they got married, and the "transaction" on their wedding night—he’s been like this, clear-headed as if he’s not real.
And I, foolish like a fake person.
Especially when I think of how I believed he raised an army with Duke Sheng, ignoring , and out of pain, gave up everything, even willing to die, my foolishness seems even more laughable.
Back then, when I confronted him, I kept saying it was fortunate that I wasn’t hopelessly attached to him. If I had been as clear-headed as I claid, would I have felt such imnse pain when I thought he disregarded my life or death?
Actually, my feelings toward him are still—
Thinking of this, she truly gave a little chuckle.
I need to wake up, I need to wake up...
His gentleness and thoughtfulness, even his unconditional rescue, are part of his nature, not because I am special.
The truly special person resides in his heart and doesn’t need to be by his side.
I need to wake up...
For so reason, even though everything had been explained, Yu Wenye still felt a sudden shock when he saw Shang Ruyi’s smile.
He frowned, speaking in a deep voice: "Shang Ruyi!"
Only at this point did Shang Ruyi lift her eyes, glance at him, and say: "I know now."
"..."
"Thank you for coming to save ."
"..."
"And thank you for not giving up on ."
Yu Wenye’s expression slowly turned somber, he gritted his teeth and said: "After saying so much, you still want things to be ’fair’ between us? To owe each other nothing?"
"..."
"Do you really understand—"
Before he finished speaking, Shang Ruyi closed her eyes, sowhat listlessly, and said in a weak voice, "Yu Wenye, things are fair between us."
"What?"
Yu Wenye’s brow furrowed, his heart seemingly missing a beat.
The small space inside the carriage seed to fall silent again. After a long while, Shang Ruyi opened her eyes again, looking at him calmly: "You said you didn’t lie to . I admit, you seem to disdain lying, but you would—conceal things."
"..."
Yu Wenye’s breathing suddenly beca erratic.
And at this mont, Shang Ruyi’s gaze flickered a bit chaotically, but her face bore a wan smile as she said: "I have neither been injured nor am I sick, yet throughout the journey, I have been so weak that you wouldn’t even let catch the slightest breeze."
Finally, a crack appeared on Yu Wenye’s cold face.
When he glanced down at Shang Ruyi, even his expression seed to carry a hint of pain.
He said, "Ruyi..."
"Also,"
Shang Ruyi continued, "Along the way, all of you have been making take dicine. I’ve taken tranquilizing and calming dicine before, but that’s not the taste."
"..."
"When seeing a doctor, why did Tushere and the others co over in advance? Were they making arrangents or preventing the doctor from explaining my condition to ?"
The more Shang Ruyi spoke, the more disordered her breathing beca.
And those arms holding her tightly beca heavier, almost as if wanting to rge her into his chest, desiring that they never separate again.
Yet, their tightly pressed bodies remained cold.
Like Shang Ruyi’s icy gaze at this mont.
She looked at Yu Wenye and said: "I kept guessing and thinking until just now, when the doctor prescribed the dicine, I finally understood."
"..."
"Magnolia bark, astragalus, dodder, rehmannia root..."
She slowly recited the nas of the herbs she hastily recognized from the prescription, then said: "These are not dications to treat seasickness or for quiet recuperation."
"..."
"These are for restoring the uterus and nourishing the blood after a woman’s miscarriage."
Yu Wenye said, "You—"
Shang Ruyi gave a faint smile and said: "It seems you forgot, the day after our wedding I told you that I used to follow my father on a mission to the Turkic lands, where I learned dicine from their witch doctors."
"..."
"I’ve never taken this kind of dicine, but I recognize the nas and effects at first glance."
As she spoke, Shang Ruyi’s complexion paled even further, yet the corners of her eyes revealed a bit of alarming red.
She took a deep breath and said, "I miscarried, didn’t I?"
Whether it was because the carriage wheel suddenly hit sothing rough, the carriage began to shake violently, as if the world of these two people was on the verge of shattering amidst the tumult.
At this mont, Yu Wenye’s eyes also reddened.
Nevertheless, he tightened his arms, clinging to Shang Ruyi as if afraid she might drift away, beyond his reach forever.
He said, "Ruyi..."
That voice, filled with pain, was almost about to break.
But Shang Ruyi only nodded slightly.
In fact, she didn’t need his answer.
The mont she saw the prescription, she understood everything. She waited until now to ask, not wanting to admit that she lingered for a bit of his tenderness. Perhaps she wanted to gather enough strength to face this mont calmly.
She had miscarried.
When she was abducted by Wo Xue and taken to Chu Yang’s side, enduring everything, a child was growing in her belly.
Their child.
But, this child left before she even realized its presence.
No wonder that night, she felt so cold and in such pain, her blood seed inexhaustible, to the point she lost her senses, delusional that she, like those who fell into a sea of blood in front of her, was about to die and be devoured by the boundless ocean of blood.
So, she took the sword and aimlessly left the Bright Hall because, at that ti, she had forgotten she was still alive.
But it wasn’t her who left.
It was the child between them, who shouldn’t have existed.
The child was gone.
Silently, leaving behind only a mont of pain, as quietly as he ca full of joy.
But regardless of the pain or joy, at this mont, it’s ti to wake up.
Shang Ruyi smiled, and this ti, she genuinely smiled, but unexpectedly, a scalding drop rolled down from the corner of her eye, falling onto Yu Wenye’s hand that was tightly holding her, forming a crystal tear that disappeared in an instant.
The anguish between the two of them is like that.
It existed, but what was ant to end should end here.
Shang Ruyi looked up at him, his face still handso, even more so than other matchless n who had once been infatuated with her. But Shang Ruyi understood, no matter how many tis ti turned back, she couldn’t avoid being moved by this face.
It’s just, she’s lost hope.
She took a deep breath and calmly said to him: "Yu Wenye, even the heavens intend for us to owe each other nothing."
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