"Ooooohhhh! The Virgin Alarm!"
Sweet tilts her head at the inn's bartender, currently guised as a rabbit-eared waitress, and then bares her teeth. "You are mocking , bunny."
"No, no, it's a thing!" Emma waves her hands before leaning over the counter. "It's a dungeon trait we picked up a while back. Like...you know a lot of people here have spent ti...getting to know the lounge staff and all? Not to ntion all the shit the Dungeon Fuckers get up to..."
The towering gnoll isn't much pleased by this direction of the conversation. "This has nothing to do with , bunny. Get to the point."
"I am! Basically, the gods apparently wanted to give people a heads up about what they're getting into when entering a dungeon, I guess. Like a 'watch out, the rabbits here might hump you' or whatever. I'm not sure it really considered the idea that they'd be doing it intentionally."
"But I've never done such a thing!"
Emma snaps her fingers at the bodyguard. "Exactly! If you're a virgin - or under so sort of chastity oath or whatever - the gods give you a special warning about it. You don't seem like the cleric type, so...virgin?"
There's a growl in the woman's throat, but it eventually dies down. "...Yes."
The mirror gives her a supportive smile. "Nothing wrong with that! Certainly no judgnt about it or anything. Besides, if I'm not mistaken the warning only happens when you step inside, right? Given that no one's going back in and out any ti soon, it's nothing you'll need to worry about."
Frowning, the gnoll shakes her head. "It is strongest when I enter, yes. But also...I believe being in the vicinity of a monster brings it out as well. I do not notice it during combat, perhaps it is not there or I am simply too distracted. Or perhaps the senses I have trained in my role as my lady's guard are more...easily disturbed than those of the average Challenger. But being here, sitting a few feet away from you?" Sweet gestures at the bar manager with a clawed hand. "I cannot escape the impression that you intend to...do things to ."
She narrows her eyes and asks a followup question. "...Do you?"
Emma quickly shakes her head. "? Nah. You're not really my type. Although..." With a hand on her chin, Emma examines the other people around the bar. It's deep into the night at this point, practically the next morning really, but with all of the returnees from the raid there's still a fair bit of business going on. "I bet I could find soone to mirror around here who would have you as their type, if you're looking for sothing."
"No!" Sweet's response is imdiate, although after a mont she considers her response more carefully. "...Would that fix it?"
"Losing your virginity? Well, sure, I don't see why not." Emma's brows furrow. "Though I'm not sure if that's a good reason for it. I an...I'm not gonna guess a lady's age, but it seems like you've been saving yourself for...well, for whatever for a good while now."
"I'm not..." Sweet grumbles as she searches for the words. "I am not saving myself. I simply...never had the ti, nor interest. The forest-bred gnolls of this continent do not impress . And with my travels, and following my lady as she grew up, I never had a proper ti for...romance with any of a more suitable nature."
"Oh?" Emma leans forward, sensing gossip. "And what is a suitable nature? Big and muscular like yourself? Looking for soone who can grapple you to the bed and 'ta the beast'? Er...not that I an anything offensive by that."
This ti the gnoll laughs. "Ahah, I am aware of the impression I give, yes, it one of my favorite parts of my profession!" She chuckles a bit more, a rare display of emotion from the refined bodyguard, but she eventually reins it in. "But I suppose I would prefer a man who could handle himself, yes."
"Well! Consider Emma's Dating Service to be on the job! Give an hour, and I'll find a lucky fellow to rid you of that pesky virginity! You said a man, yeah? Gim a few, I'll be right back!"
"Er, male, yes, but please do not..." Emma is already bounding off, disappearing into the crowd, and the gnoll's eyes grow wide. "...Oh no."
"I'm, er, not sure how to...I an, it's a pleasure to et you, Miss Sweet."
The gnoll stares at the man sitting at the other side of the table before glancing towards Emma. The manager is standing behind the drider with a wide smile on her face, although Sweet isn't at all sure where her confidence is coming from. "You must be joking. Emma, yes? This man is...clearly not as I described my tastes. He is practically a boy!"
"Eh!? I an, I know I have a youthful appearance, but I have a fair few accomplishnts under my belt, if I say so myself. Not only am I an Advanced-tier Challenger, but I lead my own party!" Grizza still isn't sure that he ought to be at this table or why he's here, but he does at least possess enough pride in himself to speak up in his own defense. Emma joins him towards that end.
"Yeah, he was one of the guys who was in charge of your whole breakout, you know! Besides - the ears, yeah? Grizza, you got the ears like I asked, right?"
"Do I...must I?" Grizza sighs even as he asks the question.
"You must, you must!"
"...Very well." Reaching into a bag at his waist, the mage pulls out a poorly-made headband with two ragged leather rabbit ears fixed to the top of it. Sweet's too confused by the situation to speak up, but the intention becos clear once he places them upon his head. In a flash the youthful drider is suddenly far more muscular, and even at least a few inches taller. Even Grizza himself seems surprised as he glances at his bare biceps.
"Oh! It hasn't worked quite like this before...but I suppose it does adapt to the desires of the viewer. You, ah...like what you see, Miss Sweet?"
Sweet eyes him, takes a sniff of the air, and then snorts. "Even were this not an illusion, you would not please , little spider. Take no offense. But...no. I do not believe this is for ."
Grizza seems almost relieved at the declaration but Emma only seems more fired up. "Okay! No problem, no one gets it right on the first try! Give a few more minutes though and I'll find you bachelor number two!"
As the woman vanishes once again, Grizza shares a look with the bodyguard across from him. "...My condolences, I think."
"...Thank you."
"What am I doing here, Emma?"
The manager grins at the massive Rabbit Patriarch as she settles him down into a seat across from Sweet. "Just introducing the two of you, Parker! Parker, this is Sweet, Lady Highbranch's personal bodyguard. Sweet, this is Parker, guardian of Floor Eight."
Sweet eyes the man, a little surprised at his impressive form. "Parker, yes. You are usually a mimic of so sort, yes? Although I believe I've heard of the dungeon granting so of you...alternative forms."
The man gives a confused nod. "Aye, so of the others have False Mortal bodies they use for public ti on Floor Five. I've ah, grown used to this particular one, though. Er, Emma, still a little hazy on why we've been introduced?"
Emma plants her hands on her hips. "Because Sweet here needs a big, muscular rabbit like you to dig out her burrow, if you know what I'm saying, eh? Eh?"
Parker eyes a very embarrassed Sweet before looking back at the matchmaker. "Emma. I am married."
"Well, yeah. Oh hold on, I saw Laeniel just over there, gim a min and we can sort that out!"
"What does that an!?" There's no response as Emma practically hops away, and he turns back towards his 'date' with mutual awkwardness.
"I'm, ah, sorry about this. Emma's sothing of a...people-pleaser sotis, I think."
"I...am sure we will laugh about this at a distant ti, perhaps." Sweet tries to force a smile to her lips, but it's slow to co. Fortunately, Laeniel's arrive is much swifter.
Once again, Emma dives right into things. "Laeniel, mind doing a bit of charity here? Can you give Parker permission to give Sweet a good seeing-to, just this once? It would really help her out."
Parker quickly raises his paw-like hands at Laeniel's look. "I didn't ask for this! This is all Emma's idea!"
Raising an eyebrow, the elvish accountant turns back to Emma. "Look, I was in the middle of helping get the new arrivals situated and all that. What...why does Sweet need help with...that?"
"Well, Sweet here's a first-tir, and I was thinking we could ease her stress, y'know? Not like we don't have enough of that going around here already."
"Ohh." Laeniel nods in understanding. "The Virgin Alarm."
Sweet buries her face in her large hands. "Does everyone know this...?"
The elf eyes the large gnoll, and then her husband. Finally, she cos to a decision. "...Can I watch?"
"Wait, what?" Parker and Sweet seem equally surprised, but only the Patriarch manages to utter the question.
"Well...she does seem...impressive. And as long as I'm there it's not like it's cheating - " Sadly, Laeniel's justification is cut short by Sweet herself.
"No! No, I will not...engage in that with a married man! I am...sorry for wasting your ti."
While Parker's expression seems relieved, there's a disappointed look on Emma's...and perhaps just a hint of one on Laeniel's. Still, Emma perks back up quickly.
"Alright, alright! Third ti's the charm! Give another few minutes!"
As she bounds off once again, Sweet sighs. "Sorry, again. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening..."
The married couple exchange a glance that indicates a fair bit of talking is in store to co. Parker groans as he rises from his chair. "We'll do our best..."
"Alright! This one's the one!"
"I'm the what?"
Sweet stares at the armored warrior Emma's placed before her now, and simply stares at the rabbit for a long ti. "...Emma. This is a suit of armor with a floating skull in it."
Dave's skull bobs in a nod. "That's right! Emma here asked if anyone was good for a boning, and who better than ? I an, I'm not entirely sure what's going on here, but she said you could use so head?"
"Emma."
The mirror waves her hands. "Hey, give him a shot! Sure, he's missing a few parts, but - "
"She also said you need so discretion? I'll never kiss and tell - mostly cause I can't get past the kissing part! And if you're looking for a man, well, just because I may not be all of a man doesn't an I'm not still all man!"
"Emma. No."
"Gah! Fine! One more!"
Emma once again vanishes, and Dave's enchanted armor gives her a shrug. "Hey, I know how it goes, part of the club, yeah? Never had anyone polish my do either. I'm sure you'll find your man in shining armor, and maybe the next one will actually be in his armor! Ahah! Well, catch you around!"
"...Thank you for the support."
"Ah. Hello again, Sweet."
ntally exhausted, Sweet takes a deep breath. "Emma. This is Taylim. We are colleagues. He is sworn to the defense of Lord Raylin just as I am to my lady."
"Yeah, so you've seen him! But take another look!" Emma gestures in front of the Royal Sentinel, showing him off. "One of the tallest boys in the dungeon, and while I haven't seen him out of that armor, just look at those neck muscles." She moves to give him a brief shoulder massage. "Hells, I'm tempted to make a move myself..."
"Perhaps you should." Sweet rumbles out a growl. "We have worked together for quite so ti, now. If Taylim had any such interest in , I would know!"
The man in question clears his throat. "Actually...while I wouldn't impugn your detection skills, Miss Sweet, I've been highly trained in matters of noble etiquette myself. If I had an interest that was...perhaps unsuitable, I think I'd be quite adept at concealing such a thing even from you."
Sweet raises a brow. "You...have an interest?"
Taylim glances towards Emma, who gives him two thumbs up. "Well...if I were to set aside professionalism for the mont? Gods, yes. I have fantasized about you since the first ti I saw you. I an, holy hells, woman! Look at those arms! Those claws! The way you cut a monster in half with a single swipe of a blade!" He throws his hands into the air. "When we go on dungeon runs together, it's all I can do to not walk around the dungeon with an erection!"
"..."
"...If I were to set aside professionalism, of course."
Sweet looks towards Emma one more ti. "...You said new arrivals had rooms available, yes?"
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