You Are My Only Sunshine Chapter 1679 - 1678: An Emotionless Walking Corpse

Xia Pu, I hope this is not the first letter I’ve written you, nor the last. Yet, I am conflicted, wanting you to know its contents but also fearing you find out. Because I am sorry to you, I should not have married you, which brought you pain and perhaps lifelong sorrow.

All of this was caused by my selfishness, which has hard you.

There is a truth I have always been afraid to tell you. But if I die, you are the one who deserves to know this truth.

A few years ago, I carried out a mission and nearly failed, almost dying in the process. The enemy used many thods to make talk, including injecting with a large amount of drugs, leaving wishing for death rather than living. But when I was on the brink of death, I was fortunately saved. Yet, the drugs continued to tornt , still threatening my life, and at that ti, no one could save .

At the ti, the only chance of survival was to inject a banned substance, and I can’t tell you what it was. But the consequence was that I beca an emotionless, living corpse.

I do not know what happiness or joy is, nor do I feel love. Without emotions or desires, I could not beco dependent on drugs, thus saving my body.

But from that mont on, my soul was dead.

Every day, I didn’t know the aning of living, except by continually undertaking tasks, using rigid justice and morality to restrain myself. Only when carrying out tasks did I feel the illusion that I was alive.

Until one day, I t you.

You said you wanted to marry ; you liked so much, it was evident to anyone. Yet anyone could see, I did not like you.

Actually, it wasn’t that I didn’t like you; my heart even wanted to feel sorrow because I no longer knew what it felt like to like soone. I couldn’t even respond to soone as good as you.

Naturally, I couldn’t give you happiness; I don’t even know what happiness feels like.

So I rejected you and was cold towards you. But you never gave up on , and your feelings for never changed. Your genuine affection, simple and pure, unmixed with anything else.

For the first ti, I saw such pure emotion. Perhaps in this world, only you could purely like , not because of my status or any of my reputation.

Facing your pure love, I gradually developed selfish thoughts. I’ve lost all happiness and emotion, yet increasingly desired to possess these. I yearned eagerly, like a traveler in the desert thirsting for water.

I wanted selfishly to own your love for , hoping one day, your love could awaken all my emotions. So, when I was sure that even if I didn’t love you, you’d still be willing to marry , I agreed to marry you.

Xia Pu, you didn’t know that at that ti, I considered you my lifeline. I hoped my life would change because of you, but in the end, I was wrong.

Terribly wrong, trendously mistaken.

Because of my montary selfishness, I married you, yet I couldn’t give you the happiness you desired. I didn’t even know how to be a good husband or how to love you and respond to your feelings.

I was even indifferent to your devotion.

Seeing the sorrow that often showed in your eyes, I wanted to feel remorse.