Mu Yan sat leaning against the bed, flipping through a diary.
Although each diary entry had few words, those short lines were enough for her to imagine scenes of him being bullied during his teenage years.
20XX-12-20 Friday Weather: Light Rain
There was a final exam today, and soone threw a note under my desk. The invigilator saw it and ruled that I cheated.
I threw the paper at that teacher’s face and then walked out.
The school called ho. My grandpa found out I cheated and enforced family discipline. She scolded for being unambitious and embarrassing her.
I looked at the bruises on my back in the mirror, not feeling any pain at all.
The sound of a drop, tears fell onto the words, saring them.
Mu Yan hurried to wipe it, but so of it still smudged.
She grabbed a tissue from the side to desperately wipe her tears. The tissue was soaked, so she took another one.
Her heart felt twisted, unbearably painful.
How could they defa and hurt him like that? He was only fifteen at the ti, how sad he must have felt.
20XX-1-13 Friday, Weather: Light Snow
Today is my birthday, and no one at ho celebrated it for .
She threw the longevity noodles on the ground, complaining as usual that I’m not favored by them, causing her to have no status at ho.
She warned that if I wanted them to value , I had to make myself exceptional, to know how to cater to their favor.
But I don’t need their attention and I don’t like celebrating birthdays.
Mu Yan sniffled, recalling the coldness of his birthday at the beginning of this year, which was nothing like Lu Hao’s.
Now, he has beco self-reliant, so low-key. One reason could be that he doesn’t like celebrating birthdays, and the other could be the Jiang Family doesn’t value him.
They don’t value him, but she does. From now on, she’ll spend every birthday with him.
20XX-2-28 Monday, Weather: Overcast
Today was the start of the new sester. As soon as I entered the classroom, those people mocked for cheating and getting a public reprimand.
When the class representative collected the winter break howork, she deliberately skipped and sarcastically said that it makes no difference whether copied howork is submitted or not.
In class, the teacher publicly criticized for not turning in the howork.
20XX-6-15 Wednesday, Weather: Sunny
Today is the last day of the entrance exam. I handed in a blank paper again. The actual score doesn’t matter to others; they will always make continue studying in high school.
But when I got ho in the afternoon, my grandpa found out about this and resorted to family discipline again.
Mu Yan felt a pang of heartache. A person forced by those around him into self-abandonnt must feel utterly desperate towards them and the world.
She was sowhat afraid to look further back, fearing that he might have further indulged in self-degradation during his high school years.
Yet, she hoped there would be so changes.
After all, the Jiang Jingheng she knows now is gentle and perfectly composed; perhaps she was overthinking.
However, to Mu Yan’s disappointnt, Jiang Jingheng did not keep a diary during his high school years.
But starting from his freshman year in college, he resud writing his diary.
20XX-9-13 Saturday, Weather: Light Rain
Today, I suddenly rummaged through old stuff and found this diary, realizing I’m now a freshman in college.
Today they’re sending abroad, but I refused.
Where I go to study makes no difference to .
On the contrary, studying too much or too well would be disadvantageous for .
Mu Yan continued to flip through the pages. During his college years, he wrote in his diary very infrequently. Occasionally, he’d write for a couple of days in a row, sotis going half a year without writing.
However, a sudden sense of world-weariness erged in his words.
"Today, Grandpa slapped . The words of wanting dead were almost spoken."
"I sat all night at the hospital entrance, recalling many things. Perhaps my existence is a mistake,"
"I really just want to die and end it all."
...
Seeing these, Mu Yan felt panic-stricken, quickly flipping through the pages, fearing he had done sothing foolish.
20XX-9-3 Saturday, Weather: Sunny
Today, I t her, a girl like a sunflower.
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