"I attended a private boarding school from elentary school. The school was actually pretty good, and the teachers and principal were quite nice. They knew my family and took good care of ."
Xia Fanxing said, "The problem was, every Sunday afternoon and Monday morning, I’d be gloomy. I didn’t want to go to school, but my mom and dad would simply carry to the car and send off to school. No matter how much I cried in the car, it was of no use. A few tis, when I cried badly, my dad would pick up a ruler, make kneel in the study, and beat harshly. For days at school afterward, I couldn’t even hold chopsticks properly; the mory is too vivid."
He gestured the length of the ruler with his hand, approximately more than a ter.
"In middle school, it was the sa. Every Friday afternoon after school, the classmates around were all happy, looking forward to going ho. I would look forward to it too, but every return ho was a disappointnt. I’d happily tell my parents I’ve co back, and they’d be very indifferent. It made feel like I wasn’t returning ho, but coming to collect a debt..."
"And my dad, whenever he saw , he’d either be cold or ask about my studies, criticizing , saying I didn’t do well here or there!" Xia Fanxing took a deep breath, "Ning, do you know what that feels like?"
His face was filled with a look of disgust.
"Damn!"
"I’m really sick, why did I co back?!"
"I shouldn’t have co back."
"When I was in high school, I didn’t perform well academically. My dad said I needed discipline..." Xia Fanxing gritted his teeth, "So, they sent to a military school. It was completely closed, and the instructors were very strict, no phones, no computers, no entertainnt; we either studied or trained every day. In the first sester, I tried with other students to find a way to escape by climbing over the wall. After escaping, when I got ho, my dad scolded , slapped , and sent back. After returning to school, the instructors watched like a criminal. I couldn’t escape or didn’t want to anymore; eventually, I beca numb."
Xia Fanxing’s eyes turned red.
The expression on his face was a mix of intense sarcasm and self-mockery, along with deep hatred.
"I feel like even if I died there, they would think I deserved it."
"I don’t know what discipline I needed, did I kill soone or commit arson?"
"Did I owe them sothing to deserve this treatnt?!"
"After spending a year in military school, I got out..."
"Ning, do you know why I got out?"
"Why?" Ning Youguang asked softly.
"There are two reasons," Xia Fanxing said. "The first is that I wanted to study well for the college entrance exams, the second is that the military school’s teachers said I had a ntal illness."
"ntal illness?" Ning Youguang was puzzled.
"Yes, isn’t it ridiculous?" Xia Fanxing sneered, "What’s even more ridiculous is that after leaving the school, my dad actually sent to a ntal hospital and gave a pile of dication, like anti-schizophrenia drugs, antidepressants, a whole ss of them."
"Did you take them?" Ning Youguang thought there were many parts of Xia Fanxing’s story that hadn’t been uncovered yet and hadn’t expected this situation.
"I did, why wouldn’t I?" Xia Fanxing said, "They all said I was ill, so I took them."
"Were there any side effects?" Ning Youguang felt a chill down his spine.
"Yes." Xia Fanxing crossed his arms, adopting a self-protective pose. "I used to be very smart; although my dad always said I was no good, I felt my grades were pretty good, often being first in class. I learned things and rembered them quickly. But since taking the dications for ntal illness, my brain stopped working properly; I couldn’t rember anything. When I went back to high school, I frequently ranked at the bottom."
A look of satisfaction after revenge appeared on Xia Fanxing’s face, "Funny, isn’t it? Hahaha..."
"My dad asked why I had beco dumb, and I said, because of the ds."
He took to the hospital for tests, and the doctor said, "Taking these dications does slow down brain function."
"Ning, do you know how dreadful my dad’s face looked then?"
He laughed until tears ca out and continued laughing for a long ti, "He wanted to blow up that hospital."
"Too funny." He held his belly, "Ning, let laugh for a while."
Ning Youguang nodded and just watched him quietly laugh.
As he laughed and laughed, Xia Fanxing began to cry, his facial features sowhat distorted, "In my life, I’ve never seen my dad so out of control. Once we got ho, he threw all my ds out and didn’t make take them anymore."
"I went back to high school to continue my studies. Since my mory was poor and my brain wasn’t functioning well, I didn’t get into a university during the college entrance exams." Xia Fanxing’s changing expression gradually cald. "My dad, being so proud and vain, certainly couldn’t tolerate having a son who couldn’t even get into college. After the exams, he packed off to the UK."
"In the UK, although initially, I didn’t know anyone, I eventually made friends and was able to do things I liked, like riding horses, traveling, gaming, and crafting. I felt I was doing okay. Being far away, my dad didn’t control much, or maybe he had given up on controlling , so I was relatively freer," Xia Fanxing said. "Oh, I also did part-ti work with my classmates. Although I didn’t earn much, I was happy, and being physically tired, I slept well. I had a pretty good ti in college. It was also in college that I discovered I didn’t necessarily need to live a perfect life; compared to everything else, being able to make my own decisions and decide my own life made happier."
"And then?"
Xia Fanxing closed his eyes, "Then, one day, I suddenly received a call from my family; my parents had a car accident, were in the hospital being rescued, and they asked to return ho imdiately. Later, my parents couldn’t be saved; they both died, and I inherited a large sum of money as a result."
"How did you feel at that ti?" Ning Youguang asked softly.
"Nothing in particular," Xia Fanxing shook his head. "Everyone around said I suddenly beca wealthy and must be very happy."
"In fact, I wasn’t happy at all. I felt... I didn’t deserve what they left ."
"Every day when I ca ho, even though there were lots of workers, housekeepers, drivers, and gardeners, I still felt very lonely, incredibly lonely. I didn’t even dare step into my parents’ room," his tears rolled down, "but I was the only one left, and I still had to continue living."
"I also tried inviting friends over to play, attending parties, even going to work at the company, but I felt more loneliness and guilt."
Tears, like broken beads, slid from Xia Fanxing’s eyes.
He was in an extrely sorrowful state.
Ning Youguang watched him silently, but a faint smile spread in his eyes. 1314
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