It wasn’t a thank you for the sex.
Neither was it a thank you for the food. It was a thank you for everything, for the pack, for the pups, for the life she had breathed into his frozen world.
Roxy turned her head, surprised by the raw gratitude in his tone.
But before she could speak, Kaelen simply rested his forehead against her wet shoulder, holding her as if she were the only anchor in his storm.
After so ti, he lifted Roxy from the cooling water, wrapping her instantly in a thick towel. He dried her gently, patting her skin rather than rubbing it, treating her like fine porcelain that had already been chipped too many tis.
Roxy didn’t know why, but she liked it.
He carried her to the master bedroom. Zarek had kept the fire roaring, so the room was toasty warm. Kaelen moved to lay her down on the nest of pillows in the center of the massive bed.
"Sleep," Kaelen whispered, pulling the duvet back. "You have already done enough for the tribe today."
Roxy’s hand shot out, grabbing his wrist. Her grip was weak, but desperate. Kaelen could barely feel the strength of it, but stopped either way since it was her.
"Don’t go," she whispered.
"I am not going," Kaelen assured her, smoothing her damp hair. "I will sit right here until you wake."
He patted the space right next to her.
"No," Roxy shook her head against the pillow. Her eyes darted around the room. "Can you call everyone into the room?"
Kaelen paused. "Everyone?"
"Zarek. Torian. Syris," she listed, her voice cracking. "I want them in bed with . I want to feel you guys near."
Because the worst of my past might co and eat up.
Maybe it was because of the pregnancy, but nightmares that forced up her past life began to appear. And she craved the crowdiness of her mate; if she could, she would have let them all have her for tonight.
So she could be well used, well fucked, and well cleaned.
But... she didn’t want sex, she just wanted to fill their male pheromones to wrap around her like a cozy blanket.
Spring was coming, and she wanted to make sure she prepared well enough for it.
Four massive Apex Predators, a Wolf, a Tiger, a Dragon, and a Basilisk, plus a pregnant human female, all in one bed. But looking at the raw vulnerability in her eyes, Kaelen knew there was no room for argunt.
He quickly went ahead to call for the others.
Within monts, the others appeared. They saw Roxy in the bed, looking small and pale. They saw the serious look on Kaelen’s face, and they didn’t ask questions.
Nothing mattered to them except their female.
They shed their robes and settled into their silk pants. Zarek climbed in first, taking the head of the bed. He sat up against the headboard, and Roxy crawled back, resting between Zarek’s legs, her back pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, his chin resting on top of her head.
Syris, still moving stiffly from his injury, climbed in next. He curled up on her left side, resting his head on her shoulder, careful to keep his bandaged tail off the mattress edge.
Torian took the right side, pressing his long, muscular body against hers, throwing a heavy arm over her waist to lock her in.
Kaelen took the foot of the bed, curling around her legs like a hound, his hand resting on her ankle.
It was suffocatingly warm and crowded. But it was perfect for Roxy.
She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of them. She felt the heavy beat of Zarek’s heart against her spine. She felt the vibration of Torian’s purr.
He loved being close to her. A little too much.
Watching this soft scene brought tears to Roxy’s eyes, and she didn’t even realize how or why they kept pouring out.
She just needed a mont to be emotional.
She sobbed quietly, her shoulders shaking against Zarek’s chest. Tears soaked into Syris’s hair. A whimper escaped her throat.
The n froze. Their eyes widened in panic, thinking they had caused Roxy harm.
"Roxy?" Torian whispered, his hand tightening on her waist. "Are you in pain? Is it the baby? Did we squeeze you?"
"Did the wolf hurt you while washing?" Syris hissed, glaring at Kaelen’s feet. Kaelen glared back, offended by the snake’s blatant stare.
Roxy shook her head frantically, sniffling but laughing. "No... no, you didn’t hurt . You never hurt ."
Even when she talked back to them or called them nas, they never hurt her.
I was not used to that.
"Then why do you weep?" Zarek asked, his voice a low rumble against her ear. "You are safe. So why do tears fall from your beautiful eyes?"
"That’s why," Roxy choked out. "Because I’m safe, and it feels... wrong."
It’s like a quiet before the storm, great, I experienced everything that could go wrong, but these n are not supposed to make feel safe.
[You know this is not the right ti to start feeling emotional.]
She fucking gave no choice?! You should have just taken my mory the second you sucked into this world!
[...]
The n went silent, confused. Safe felt wrong?
Roxy wiped her eyes, a sweet smile tugging at the corners of her lips, but the tears kept coming. She stared at the ceiling, at the flickering shadows cast by the firelight.
"I am used to being tossed around," she whispered, the words coming out of her as if they were trying to strangle her.
And it hung in the air, heavy and suffocating.
Should I not have started....? Anyways fuck it! I don’t care.
"I’m twenty-six years old," Roxy said, her voice sounding hollow, detaching herself from the present. "In your world, that’s a child. In my world... our age is quite different and sotis we look like our age."
She took a shaky breath.
Can’t believe I am telling beasts my life story.
[TheMotheroftheWorld smiles warmly, that’s because you are finally accepting them into your heart. You love them.]
Damn right, I do. So much, it feels illegal.
"I had a mother. And a father. But they didn’t look at like Kaelen looks at the pups. They looked at like... like livestock. Like an expense, sothing they could trade for sothing."
A punching bag for their anger and sadness.
But she didn’t tell them that.
Zarek’s arms tightened around her, his jaw clenching. He could feel the amount of sorrow that was leaking off her.
"When I was nineteen," Roxy continued, staring into the distance as if she could rember but could only simplify it, "they sold ."
Torian let out a sharp hiss. "Sold? Like a slave?"
"Like a wife," Roxy corrected bitterly with a chuckle. "To a man nad Richard. He was rich. He was powerful. And he wanted ."
[You forgot the part that he wanted your body.]
I am getting there.
She laughed, a wet, broken sound.
"I thought... I actually thought I was lucky. Because he looked at . He touched in ways no one had. He told I was pretty. I was so broken, so starved for warmth, that I accepted his sick love."
She unconsciously traced the faint, old scars on her wrists, scars the System had healed physically, but not ntally.
No one could heal that broken past of mine.
"He didn’t want a wife," Roxy whispered. "He wanted a punching bag that could scream. He used to beat until the bed turned red. And the worst part? He smiled while he did it. He didn’t want sex. He didn’t want pleasure. He derived pleasure from seeing my blood more than hearing my moans."
Even when we had sex, he made sure to inflict hurt on , so he could fuck with my blood dripping down my body.
To think that was the reason why I am a bit numb to pain and reckless to danger.
Roxy didn’t add that part.
A low growl started in Kaelen’s throat, like a big dog, Roxy ntally dubbed it. Syris buried his nose into her neck, trying to give her comfort as he licked her tears with his forked tongue.
"I stayed," Roxy admitted, sha coloring her tone. "I stayed because I thought... ’At least he sees .’ At least I’m not invisible like I was with my parents. I thought that pain was the price of being loved."
"That is not love," Zarek said, his voice terrifyingly calm. "That is an evil beast."
"I know that now," Roxy whispered, rolling her eyes at how broken her past self was and still is. "But I didn’t then."
She shifted slightly, seeking more warmth from Zarek.
"Then ca the second one," she said. "Mark. After I divorced Richard... I thought I was free. I t Mark. I chose him. My parents didn’t pick him. I did."
Richard tried to kill twice, but Mark always protected , so I thought he was the Angel that god fucking gave .
She squeezed her eyes shut, fresh tears leaking out.
"I thought it was freedom. He was kind at first. Gentle. But he turned out to be the worst of them all."
She placed a hand over her stomach, over the bump where her baby was growing.
"I was pregnant," Roxy said softly. "With him. A human baby. I was so happy. I thought, finally, I have a family. Sothing of my own."
She had told this part before, to Mara when she was trying to calm her.
The room was deadly silent. Even the fire seed to dim. Babies were a sensitive topic for everyone here, since they were very precious to their bloodline.
"He ca ho drunk one night," Roxy said, her voice monotone now. "He didn’t like the noise. He didn’t like the idea of responsibility. He... he kicked ."
Torian flinched as if he had been struck.
Killing intent rose in the air.
"And kicked and kicked ," Roxy’s voice broke as she kept spitting it out as if she could rember that night; she could. Very vividly. Like it was happening right before her very eyes.
The cold, ferocious look he gave her, the blinding pain that traveled from the burning of her throat down to her toes, that curled from the pain.
The way she tried to protect her stomach, but couldn’t.
"Until everything inside broke, the next thing I knew, I was at the hospital, the baby was gone."
She took a deep, shuddering breath as fresh tears spilled out of her eyes.
My little baby.
The baby I was looking forward to holding in my hand.
The reason I had felt like I was in a field of sunflowers for the first ti.
It was all destroyed in one night, even before he could fully form.
His heartbeat had dimd.
Roxy scread, her sobs turning thicker as she felt as if thousands of ants were crawling up her throat, and her skin was burning hot.
She choked. "Then the doctor told ... the damage was too severe. They had to take everything. My womb. My future. And the one chance of having sothing I could call my own."
She paused. Realization suddenly struck her.
Her sobs died in her throat, her eyes widened.
Wait, Roxy thought. If they took my womb... how am I having so many children?
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