When you express dissatisfaction about a relative pointing out your flaws in public or private, they might say, "I did it because I don't want you to go down the wrong path in the future. If you can't take advice, I won't say it anymore."
Such behavior often appears for the first ti when ntal abusers are screening potential victims.
The first rule of avoiding becoming a victim is not to get angry, never let your rage spur you on to argue, and be careful not to refute any point in their words to avoid falling into a heated debate.
For example, in the first situation, never angrily respond, "Is this a joke? This is obviously you...", and don't coldly retort, "I don't think this is a joke."
This is the reaction the ntal abuser is most hoping to see. Similar angry responses will directly inform them that they've hit a nerve, and then they'll continue poking at it incessantly. Seeing others distressed by their words and actions brings them pleasure.
The best thod at this ti is to attack directly. Note that this is not a counterattack but an aggression—abandon the existing topic, and return the insult from another angle.
For example, facing the first situation, you could directly say: "Are you trying to make a joke? You must have no sense of humor." In the face of the second situation, you might say: "Your advice is so poor. If you're not good at it, don't give advice." And if it's the third case, just say: "You've gone down so many wrong paths yourself, yet you still have the audacity to give advice to others?"
Your attitude must remain calm, and the tone must be steady, as if what you're saying is common sense, as if you've always seen this person for what they are.
Make the other party understand that you are the sa kind of predator as them, not their prey, and naturally they will lose interest in you.
Going even further, if you can create a perception that everybody around has always viewed them this way, they will likely get embarrassed and angry, and the tables will turn on them.
Just like when dealing with multi-level marketing, the best way is not to argue about whether or not this thod can make money, but to launch a personal attack. No matter how good the model is, they can't make any money with your ineptitude, and make them embarrassed and angry to argue about whether they are inept or not.
The sa goes for dealing with persistent insurance salesn and promoters. The product may be excellent, but I just don't want to do business with you, or lend money to you in particular.
Once they start asking "why" and "by what right", it's easy to provoke their emotions, and you can easily take the initiative.
Once this pattern of behavior spreads throughout your social circle, it will basically prevent anyone inclined to verbal abuse from approaching. But be careful not to overdo it, or you'll turn into a verbal abuser yourself.
"What do you think Miss Talia should have done?" Shiller asked. Pala began to frown and think, and he quickly added, "I'm not a professor, so don't feel pressured. You can say whatever you want, for example, she should have beaten up the mont she jumped."
Pala's eyes widened, "Really?"
"Although I don't like using my special abilities, I do have so experience with physical combat," Shiller poured Pala a glass of wine and said, "That's one possible answer, but it's a high-risk one, so it's not a full mark."
"So, what should the standard answer be?"
Shiller grinned and said:
"She should have directly accused of poor teaching skills. How else would I have a student who resorts to drugging during a date?"
Pala was left dumbstruck.
At that mont, she realized that all along, Talia had been the victim who was in the right from start to finish.
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