I looked up from my eggs.
"Of course not."
Naomi pulled out the chair and sat. Not across from . Not at a safe distance where we could pretend everything was normal.
Right next to .
Close enough that I could sll her shampoo. Sothing floral and clean that mixed with the academy’s standard issue soap. The kind that probably cost her three dollars at the student store.
She set down her tray with a soft clink. Oatal with berries. Orange juice. A single piece of wheat toast, edges perfectly browned.
Her usual breakfast when she was trying to be healthy and responsible. When what she actually wanted was a stack of pancakes drowning in maple syrup.
Naomi picked up her spoon. Put it back down. Picked it up again. The tal caught the morning light streaming through the windows.
I kept eating my eggs.
Soone laughed three tables over. A group of Ruby kids comparing gate tis and arguing about who took down more Crawlers. Their voices carried across the dining hall like they wanted an audience.
The sound felt too loud in the quiet bubble around our table.
"Did you lose weight?"
The question caught mid-bite.
I swallowed. Grabbed my protein shake and took a drink to buy ti.
"Yeah. Running for my life will do that."
The joke ca out easier than I expected.
Naomi actually laughed. A real one that crinkled the corners of her pink eyes and made her whole face soften into sothing I recognized from Wednesday night.
"I guess you look... well..."
She trailed off.
Her cheeks turned the exact shade of pink that matched her hair. The color spread down her neck and disappeared under her uniform collar.
I waited.
Naomi stared at her oatal like it contained classified information about national security. Her fingers played with the spoon handle.
"You look good."
The words ca out quiet. Almost apologetic. Like admitting I looked good was sohow betraying herself.
"Thanks."
I ant it.
The complint hit differently coming from Naomi. Not because she was my girlfriend or whatever complicated label we were using. But because Naomi had seen at my worst. Had looked at that version of and decided I was worth sothing anyway.
Now I was down to two thirty. Face sharper. Moving faster. Holding my own in gates. Still fat. Still slow compared to Charles or Marcus. But getting there.
I studied Naomi while she stirred her oatal without eating it.
Dark circles under her eyes. Prominent enough that makeup wasn’t covering them. The concealer she’d tried only made the shadows more obvious.
Her shoulders had tension in them. The kind that ca from sleeping wrong or not sleeping at all. Muscles bunched under her uniform blazer.
The shell necklace from her mother sat crooked at her collarbone. Usually she adjusted it obsessively. A nervous habit I’d noticed back in Theory class.
Right now she hadn’t touched it once.
"Hey."
She looked up.
"You good?"
Naomi’s smile was automatic. Practiced. The one she wore when people asked if she was okay and she didn’t want to worry them. Sa expression she used when Professor Vale asked about her combat performance.
"I’m fine."
"You’re not sleeping."
Her smile faltered. Cracks appeared in the mask.
"I an I know with my thing," I continued. "The extraction tax hits harder when you’re not used to it. But like. Is there anything I can do to help?"
Naomi set down her spoon completely. The soft clink against ceramic sounded too loud.
She folded her hands in her lap. Looked at them instead of . Studied her calloused fingers like they held answers.
"I keep thinking about our first ti."
My stomach dropped.
"Not. Not like that. I an. That was. Good. Really good."
Her cheeks burned. The pink spread all the way to her ears now.
"I keep thinking about when we ca back. And you told I was yours. And then imdiately told you’d need to do this with other girls."
"Naomi."
"I’m not mad. I promise I’m not mad. I understood it then and I understand it now."
She finally looked at . Her pink eyes were wet at the edges. Not crying. Just. Close. The morning light made them glisten.
"Understanding doesn’t make it stop hurting."
The eggs tasted like cardboard suddenly.
I set down my fork.
Naomi continued talking. The words ca faster now like a dam breaking. Like she’d been holding this in for days and couldn’t anymore.
"I saw you with Belle yesterday. After the gate. In the locker area. The way you looked at her when she was laughing with Jordan. And I know you went to her last night. I know because she texted after. Said thank you for being cool about it."
Belle texted her.
Of course Belle texted her.
Because Belle was smart enough to know that keeping Naomi inford was better than letting her imagination fill in gaps. Better to control the narrative than let it control her.
"And I’m trying really hard to be okay with this. Because you need it to live. And because I knew what I was agreeing to. But Jace."
She touched the shell necklace finally. Straightened it with shaking fingers.
"I really like you. Like. A lot. More than I should after six days. And watching you with soone else makes feel like I’m being torn apart."
The dining hall felt too bright suddenly. Too loud. Too many people existing around us while Naomi sat there being honest about exactly how much I was hurting her.
"I haven’t been sleeping because every ti I close my eyes I see you touching her. Hear you saying her na. Wonder if she tastes better than or if her. If you like her more because she’s prettier or funnier or just. Better at this than I am."
"Naomi."
"And I know that’s pathetic and jealous and exactly the kind of thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do. But I can’t help it."
She wiped at her eyes quickly. The motion was so fast I almost missed it. The heel of her palm ca away damp.
"So no. I’m not sleeping well. And yes there’s sothing you can do to help."
I waited. My chest felt tight. Like soone had strapped weights to my ribs.
Naomi looked directly at . Her pink eyes were clear now. Determined.
"Tell I’m not crazy for falling this hard this fast."
The request hung between us.
Behind her, Belle appeared in the dining hall entrance. Blue hair catching morning light. Black leggings and an oversized white sweater that fell off one shoulder. She spotted us imdiately.
Her amber eyes t mine across the distance.
She didn’t approach. Just gave a look that said handle this or I will.
Then turned toward the food line. Her movents deliberate. Giving us space.
I focused back on Naomi.
"No, you’re not crazy," I said, my voice low.
"You’re not crazy," I said, my voice low. "You’re reacting exactly how anyone would. I created this ss. So tell , what do you need to hear right now?"
Naomi’s hands clenched in her lap. Her knuckles went white.
"I want you to tell that what we had ant sothing. That I’m not just. Another source. Another extraction target that you’ll forget about once you find soone with Gold-tier essence and a better body."
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