Emotions are strange.
They make us feel things we never expected ourselves to be capable of feeling.
"Viola, do you rember the ti we first t?"
I asked her softly, not expecting an answer.
Viola stayed true to my expectations and didn't reply but I didn't stop.
"That day, it was Lyra's birthday and just because I ate her stupid cake before she could, she started chasing with a rusty pole in the na of teaching discipline and respect."
I leaned against the door as the faint sound of breathing reached from the other side.
I took a deep breath after relaxing my body completely, letting my emotions guide for the first ti instead of so elaborate logic or efficiency.
"I was sure that day… that Lyra was going to kill … so I just kept running around the garden."
I continued after a small pause.
"And then you appeared."
I let out a small laugh.
"You were a ss with tears and snot all over your face. Even your hair was tangled with leaves stuck everywhere."
I continued, the image of a childlike Viola still vivid in my mind, when a sharp knock suddenly ca from the other side of the door.
"I wasn't crying."
Her voice was still laced with anger but a smile appeared onto my lips. That had been my first genuine reaction from her ever since we arrived in Anciana.
But I didn't say anything and just continued my story.
"When I first saw you, I thought I would finally be saved from the tyranny of Lyra. But instead of helping … you started laughing."
A quiet sigh escaped my lips.
"I was so dumbfounded that my body froze and Lyra caught . You know what happened next as you joined Lyra's crew after that."
"The days that followed were hell for . You two always tead up against and I kept running to my mom, complaining, hiding behind her."
I heard her breathing stop for a mont when I ntioned my mom.
Still, I didn't stop.
"You know… I used to complain to her all the ti about how I wanted you and Lyra out of my life."
My stomach twisted strangely as I thought of my mom.
The faces of my mothers from both of my lives overlapped and sohow, they felt the sa to . Even their smiles and the way they called my na felt the sa.
But I still didn't stop.
"I can still see it." I murmured softly. "How she ruffled my hair and smiled at mischievously everyti… telling I would be sad if that ever really happened."
"Rael…"
I heard the concern in Viola's voice but I didn't respond and just kept going.
"Then ca Mom's funeral… I still rember how you hugged and cried."
"That day, I was sad… too sad. But even then, I was grateful."
"Grateful that you were there for ."
I swallowed.
"I tried imagining my life without you… and I felt scared."
"I didn't want to lose you. Or Lyra. Or Ru. Or Dad."
My voice softened.
"I was terrified by the re possibility… I don't want to be rich or strong if it ans living alone in a cold house without the warmth of friends or family."
I recalled my past life, one that was exactly that.
A rich billionaire, surrounded by wealth yet without friends or family.
I never wanted to experience that kind of life again.
When I first woke up, I thought I had transmigrated but now… I could only understand it as reincarnation.
I had always been Rael von Ashborn.
Perhaps I had rely awakened the mories of a previous life, mories that overwheld at first…
… Or maybe my Nexus evolution had fused my soul too deeply with this body.
Because there was no other explanation for the depth of emotions I felt.
These feelings had always been there for everyone Rael had cared about. Even for Seles, my forr fiancée… soone I had deceived.
I could see through her shallow emotions and separate my feelings for her logically but even then I felt ache when I annulled my engagent with her.
But Viola, Lyra, Ru and Dad.
Their emotions were too genuine and too selfless.
No matter how logically I tried, I could never ignore them and if sothing were to happen to any of them… I would never forgive myself.
So, when I saw Viola acting strange, the only thing I felt good about doing was being honest with her about my feelings.
I continued.
"I have changed a lot, especially after my awakening. I might seem crazy or cold, at tis… but the fact that I care for you as my sister hasn't changed and it never will."
"No matter who I am or what I beco, you will always be the sa to and as my family… I hope you will guide if I ever stray too far."
"So be mad at if you want and you have every right to be but at least… tell why."
I rose from where I stood as I heard movent from the other side of the door.
Footsteps.
The door opened.
Viola stood there with her eyes red and tears still sliding down her cheeks.
A baseball bat rested on her shoulder.
"I will kill you if you say even one more stupid thing, you idiot."
I let out a wide smile, almost like a perforr because that was the only genuine emotion my flaw allowed.
Before I could say anything, Viola hugged tightly and just kept crying.
I didn't do anything else and simply patted her shoulders.
Between her sobs, she told how Arza had said sothing stupid… sothing that could easily create a huge misunderstanding.
Only then did I understand.
The anger and sadness she felt probably weren't because of that alone.
Her feelings had been bottling up ever since we t again on the cruise. She must have found my behavior and even as a whole too different from the person she rembered.
She never showed it or maybe she didn't even realize it herself but the mont Arza said those words, her image of crumbled.
She felt like she couldn't recognize anymore and as a form of self-protection…
She started acting that way.
Truly… emotions are such strange things.
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