F-Rank Puppeteer!! But I'll be Queen, and I'm not a narcissist!!!!! Chapter 120: Acting as a Puppet

It’s been about three days since I found out I was getting married. I spent that ti crying and thinking about my tragic future; never before has the title [Tragedy] made so much sense.

It feels like a bad joke that my title represents my future. Honestly, I don’t even know why I have this title or why my siblings also have strange titles.

However, starting on the second day, Eve and Syl’Vyr tried to comfort through the door, and even Clarissa showed up once to console and get to unlock it.

Thanks to them, I realized that part of my fear is realistic, but part of it is misguided. First, because poisoning is difficult; few poisons work on my puppet body.

So I don’t need to worry so much about being poisoned. I’m also not easy to kill. Even if I were decapitated and my body chopped to pieces, that wouldn’t be enough to kill as long as I have puppets and vitality.

That’s why killing is hard, all thanks to the skills [False Immortality of the Mad Puppeteer], [Vital Core], and [Main Body]. These three skills combined make semi-immortal.

Thanks to that fact, I managed to calm down. After all, the fear and despair about the future lessened slightly, but that doesn’t an I’m saved. It just ans I won’t die as easily as I thought before.

But just knowing I can survive gives a sliver of hope. It’s not a big or powerful hope, just a faint hope that maybe I can still do sothing.

To start, as long as I "behave," Esther will possibly ignore , right? She doesn’t care about anyone, after all. She probably only accepted this marriage to gain more political power and an advantage over everyone else, so she can better position herself to beco the Demon Queen in the future.

So she’ll just leave alone. As long as I don’t get in her way, I can accumulate power in secret. But of course, the re fact that we’re getting married will force my anxiety to skyrocket to, like, 1,000,000%!

I think I panicked too much... Fear, pain, and humiliation mixed into a ssy, unpleasant mush of feelings that clouded my mind. But thinking rationally, this isn’t the end for .

Because this isn’t a ga where I’m stuck at a Ga Over screen, and I’m not Grace either. So being married doesn’t prevent from strengthening myself and trying to beco queen, because my goal is very different from Grace’s goal.

I think the worst part of the marriage will mainly be the fear of ssing sothing up and never realizing it, because Esther usually doesn’t act directly; she prefers to do things indirectly and with patience.

So if I ruin everything, I’ll only realize it when it’s too late. Besides, even if poisons aren’t very effective on , drugs, aphrodisiacs, and potions still work. So I’m not immune to having sothing suspicious in my food.

I’ll just be much less affected because of my puppet body! However, there’s an interesting point I thought of during the last few days! And that point is that it would be very easy for to fake my own death.

My puppet body can easily appear dead if I want it to, because I don’t need blood pumping through my body. I don’t even need a head to move my body.

It’s kind of bizarre, but what moves my body is magic. So even without a head, my body can move. So, even though I bleed, it’s only because I tried to make my body as realistic as possible to resemble a living being. Thus, I have organs and many of the normal basic functions of a body.

So if Esther tries to kill , I can pretend to be dead and run away, only returning when I have more power.

Of course, running away from Esther is normally impossible, which is why I don’t even have plans for it. As long as I’m alive, Esther can always find because of that damn stolen blessing she has!

So I’ll only run away if she actively tries to kill , since I’ll use that chance to fake my death. Of course, this is just trying to be optimistic... I have no way of knowing what the future holds.

Besides, this future depends 100% on Esther treating as if I don’t exist. And strangely, she isn’t treating that way. She seems to be actively keeping an eye on ... it’s kind of creepy.

’I guess I should go out...’ I’m in front of the bedroom mirror, wiping the tears from my face and making myself pretty again. Strangely, even in this horrible situation, I feel the desire to look beautiful.

Moreover, despite my fear of marrying Esther, deep down a small part of is already calculating how much money I can take from Esther without her noticing. A deep, complex part of yearns to obtain resources from this marriage.

Eve already ntioned that I’m becoming a bit greedy, and even though I dismissed it before, it seems more serious now. Along with the despair, as hope erged to continue, ca the material desire for wealth.

Esther is absurdly rich, and maybe I can get a lot of resources from her to strengthen my puppets without her even noticing. Plus, I still have Arial’s Water Core stored away and I can use it anyti.

"I’ve never been this greedy before..." I murmur, my voice slightly hoarse from all the crying, but I quickly adjust my vocal cords to sound normal. This is another trick I can use.

Since I can copy anyone’s voice, I can easily fake conversations and make people behind doors and walls think I’m soone else or that I’m talking to soone else to gain benefits.

"I’m starting to sound like a con artist," I say to myself, putting on a new dress. I’ve cried enough, and now I must act. I can’t say I’ve recovered.

Fear is a primal instinct firmly attached to . I guess that ans even as a puppet, I’m still a living being with fears like everyone else.

"No despair... I need... to look natural... or Esther might punish for ruining everything..." I look in the mirror, placing my two index fingers on each cheek and forming a fake smile that looks genuine.

I don’t know how long I can keep up the act. There are things I can’t do while acting. I just hope Esther doesn’t ask to do things I don’t want to do, because in those monts, I won’t be able to act like a "good wife."

Even though I don’t want this marriage, all I can do is accept it... They’re demons. There’s no escaping this marriage, considering this world follows laws as rigid as the Middle Ages.

"..." I stare at myself in the mirror. I feel like a doll ready to perform on stage. I guess this is my life now. If I want to survive, I need to act like an obedient but uninteresting girl.

I’ll act like a decoration. It’s all I can do with what I have. Am I proud of it? Definitely not, because it’s the most cowardly way to survive possible... but I still want to live.

And right now, all I have left is to survive. Even if to survive I have to pretend to be the submissive noble who is obedient to her partner, because in the end, I still want to move from just surviving to truly living.

I still want... I want sothing... I’m no longer sure if I want to beco a better person... This marriage shook that conviction and desire, because in seconds all my effort was reduced to nothing.

So it makes think, why should I even try to be better? If my best is equivalent to nothing, then it’s better not to try anything... That’s why I no longer know if I want to beco better.

Of course, I don’t want to go back to being a failure, but I also don’t know if I can beco much better. And acting like a "good wife" only reinforces that, in the end, I’m not improving; I’m just slightly changing how I act to survive.

"Maybe it won’t be so bad... Maybe... Maybe everything will work out? A-After all, when you’re at the bottom of the pit, the only way is up, right?" I say this more as a lie to myself.

After all, that logic has a big flaw. The bottom of the pit isn’t the end, because even the deepest pit can have a cave below, and the impact can make everything collapse even deeper, and I know that.

So I, who already tried to climb out of this depth once and was thrown back into it, might not get another chance. And maybe if I fall to the bottom again, it will be the last ti, and I’ll be so deep that climbing out becos impossible.

"It’s okay... It’s okay, I can do this... Just... just smile and nod... smile and nod... that’s noble etiquette... a good wife should always smile to show everything is fine..." I’ll pretend everything is normal while hiding my feelings. Even if this is the wrong way to act, I don’t care.

I know I’m being a coward, but what choice do I have now? I’m weak, and the only way for a weak person to survive is to submit to the stronger one, even if it’s just an act.

And if I resist too much, I know the Demon King will destroy my life. Maybe I’ll even beco a slave, and I’d much rather marry by "choice" than beco a slave without any rights.

"...Yes... I’m as beautiful as ever," I say, adjusting a bow on the dress as I walk to the door. I hear Eve and Syl’Vyr arguing outside. I take a breath and then let out one last sigh.

"It’s just... a simple act... Just smile, fake happiness, accept the marriage, and seek to increase my strength in secret... It’s no different from what I was doing before... There are just more restrictions..." I tell myself, holding the doorknob. Then I open it.

"Good morning, Eve and Syl’Vyr!!" I say cheerfully, opening my bedroom door. I have a big smile on my face, and my tone of voice completely hides everything I felt for the past three days.

It’s so perfect—an exact mask of falsity that I try to maintain and succeed at, because in the end, I am a puppet, and "acting" is part of my very existence.