Chalice.
By the ti I woke up hours later, my health had undergone a complete 180°. I was ill beyond asure and my body felt as though it had been possessed by soone else... like it was no longer mine; And there was no way I could stop the tears pouring out of my eyes like a broken dam.
Beside , my baby cried uncontrollably. His sobs echoed throughout the room but there was no strength left in to pick him up or shove him to the side.
I couldn’t even stick my fingers into my ears, nor could I summon the strength to roll my eyes.
And I know that a lot of you may like the sound of this, but it felt as though I was several steps closer to the afterlife than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
"You don’t look too good," soone finally spoke to after hours of solitude and when I turned to the sound, my breath caught in my chest. My heart flipped so much that a churning occurred in my stomach.
I opened my mouth but no words could slip through. Not even a sound...
"I heard you gave birth to a baby boy... and I must say, even though you do not believe , that I am happy for you." Gavin drawled. I watched him quietly as he stuck a finger between my son’s closed fist and smiled lovingly, "..he looks handso and very healthy for a child who was born two months too early,"
His voice held nothing but pity and compassion, which was strange because I had always half expected him to co here and glower at .
I had expected him to laugh. To insult and to take Leilani’s side one more ti like he’s always done. But looking at him now, it was different.
When I looked behind him and found his mate, Maya; a girl who I always hated because she was out of my control and totally under Leilani’s, I couldn’t even bring myself to be mad. She wasn’t either and from the looks of it, she was probably pitying right now just like Gavin is...
"What did the doctors say?" She finally asked him loud enough for to hear, "...she doesn’t look good at all."
"They cannot find anything wrong." Gavin clapped back, his eyes raking across everything but my face. "She’s weak even though she didn’t lose too much blood, and her body isn’t healing despite the childbirth being one of the easiest in the hospital’s history."
I shook feverishly when a cold breeze blew against my skin and my trembling probably caught their attention because they both turned to look at then, their eyes soft, their voices gentle.
There was no hint of the harshness I always got. No trace of annoyance or irritation. It was simply... pity.
And I hated to be pitied.
Maya turned away to play with my child; But watching her like this, I couldn’t muster all the hate I used to hold against her. I didn’t even hate the baby at that mont because for so reason, he had stopped crying.
He had also stopped being the irritating little pest I once thought he was with his blue eyes shining brightly at Maya.
"I... I n-need to see the Alphas," the words rushed out of my mouth before I could stop them, and as soon as Gavin heard , he stopped, frowned and whispered;
"I don’t think they want to see you after everything, sister. Even I didn’t want to co see you... but you’re my sister at the end of the day. And this boy, this handso son you just gave birth to, is my nephew as well."
His words, the pain behind them, and the way he gazed at so lovingly reminded of the years he absolutely adored before Leilani returned. It thawed at whatever coldness I had up my chest, eating alive.
Tears slipped out of my eyes now, trailing across the corners of my face until they disappeared behind my ears and into the pillow.
I rasped; "I want to tell them sothing, Gavin... and I fear... I fear that I won’t be able to tell them another ti."
The way my voice shook while I spoke scared . It vaguely reminded of the broken cries Jennifer had shed before those disgusting gents ripped her body apart. The mory haunted and for a minute, I could swear that Maya’s face morphed into Jennifer’s, taunting ... threatening ...
I squeezed my eyes shut and scread, but just as Gavin placed his hands on my shoulder, as if to calm down, I flinched, dragged in a deep breath and muttered; "They need to know that I indeed was responsible for Jennifer’s death and I was the reason the elders had found their DNA at the cri scene..." my voice broke at the end of that sentence and crying, I continued;
"I also made Leilani believe that Jennifer had gone with the triplets, hence the reason she made that statent that made it sound like she’d accused them wrongfully... I am the one who almost ruined their lives, not Lani. She never could because she loved them at the ti!"
At my outburst, Gavin and Maya froze. I do not know why I was saying these things and vindicating Leilani instead of saving myself. But for so reason, saying these things out made my chest feel light. It made feel as though a weight as heavy as that of an adult elephant was slowly getting off my chest.
I sighed; "Also, I was... I was always jealous of her Leilani too. My jealousy was the reason I tried to get her in trouble half the ti. She was pretty, smart and strong... one ti, when we were eight, I overheard father telling mother of how overly strong she was... and how her strength rivalled his at that age. And I didn’t like that."
"And so you aided in making her life a living hell?" A different voice asked, snapping out of whatever trance I was once in.
When I lifted my eyes slowly, I was very shocked to see that it was Caelum but it was not just him. Kael and Zevran were there too, standing by the door and refusing to take a step into the room— not like I could bla them.
I had been nothing short of an and spoiled. I had been a pain in everyone’s neck, especially my twin; And even now, there was no way... no way at all that I could bring myself to look at her face without feeling the weight of all the guilt I’ve compiled for over a decade.
There was no amount of the word ’sorry’ that I could say to her to make up for all I have done.
The corners of my eyes blurred and images began to blend into each other; But this... this only spurred on. It only made realize just how trifle life was and how... how I wanted to rest from it all.
I have given up.
Totally. Absolutely.
But karma was a bitch. A totally aggressive one because one minute, I was whispering words I thought would be my last and the next, I was jerking upright in my bed due to a nerve-wracking pain that had just tore its way through my spine.
My body spasd and I cried as blood sputtered out of my mouth.
And I vaguely heard Gavin calling out to before the ringing in my ears intensified.
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