Help! I Do Not Want to Guide a Disaster Chapter 80: Trauma Bonding (1)

[Trigger warning: self-harm and ntions of suicide.]

Returning to the house, Wenzhi watched Xinyuan pull his hand away and disappear down the hallway without a word.

The bedroom door slamd shut.

Wenzhi stood there for a long mont, staring at it. Then he let out a slow breath and dragged a hand through his hair.

He didn’t follow.

He didn’t even know what he would say if he did.

The whole situation had gone completely insane.

The plot had gone off the rails a long ti ago. Wenzhi had already accepted that much. He had stopped expecting things to follow the novel.

But this?

This reveal had blindsided even him.

During the Great Fall when the first rift appeared, the disaster wiped out half the world’s population.

According to the novel, that had been the beginning.

The start of everything.

Then Espers and Guides had appeared, and although people still died, humanity had finally gained a way to fight back.

But now he had learned sothing else. Sothing the novel had never ntioned.

Xinyuan’s awakening triggered the appearances of rifts that are now known as the Red Zones.

The places everyone feared. The places that continued expanding even now.

All of them linked to one person.

Xinyuan.

Wenzhi pressed his lips together.

It made him stand out even more than before. Not just as a disaster-class Esper. Not just as the male lead. But as an anomaly. And it exposed just how frightening the original ending truly was.

The version of Xinyuan who destroyed the world.

Every instinct in Wenzhi’s body was screaming at him.

Red flag. Red flag. Red flag.

Leave.

Get out while you still can.

Yet he wasn’t leaving.

He knew Xinyuan would find him regardless.

The Esper had made that very clear. The more Wenzhi pushed him away, the closer he ca.

But now another thought had begun creeping into his mind.

A far more uncomfortable one.

Maybe Xinyuan wasn’t the only reason he was staying.

The imprint was definitely part of it.

If not for the imprint, Wenzhi would probably still be fighting him every step of the way.

But lately... It didn’t feel that simple anymore.

That realization irritated him.

So he stopped thinking about it. Or at least tried to.

He returned to his room. Took a shower, changed into clean clothes, and thought about how horribly the eting had gone.

Thought about Jingxin. Thought about Zhaohe, who was probably already trying to fix the ss.

By the ti he pulled on a pair of sweatpants and left his freckled torso bare, the house had beco quiet.

Too quiet.

He shoved a lollipop into his mouth and headed for the kitchen. Made himself sothing small to eat.

He made a portion for Xinyuan too.

Then he waited. And waited. And waited.

The bedroom door never opened.

Hours passed.

The food went cold.

Ru Yi and Duan Ze called.

Both of them wanted answers.

Both of them wanted to know why he and Xinyuan had disappeared so suddenly.

Wenzhi kept the explanation simple. "His brother happened."

That had been enough.

Eventually the calls ended.

The house beca silent again.

Midnight passed.

Then one. Then two.

Wenzhi remained awake. And soti during that silence, he realized sothing was wrong.

A heaviness settled in his chest. The kind that made breathing feel difficult. The kind that hollowed a person out from the inside.

His hand tightened around the stick of the lollipop.

Because he recognized it.

He knew this feeling.

The last ti he had felt sothing like this had been in his previous life.

Hopelessness..... Helplessness.... Fear. The feeling of being trapped inside circumstances that weren’t your fault.

The feeling of seeing no way forward. The feeling of wanting everything to stop.

Wenzhi sat there quietly.

The lollipop had long since lost its sweetness. And he found himself wondering whether Xinyuan was feeling the exact sa thing behind that closed bedroom door.

Wenzhi was caught off guard.

Why was he feeling like this?

It made no sense.

He had no reason to feel this way.

Was it because Xinyuan hadn’t co out of his room yet?

He might be asleep.

Wenzhi tried to ignore the feeling. He tried to push it away.

But instead, it grew worse.

The heaviness in his chest deepened.

His heart wouldn’t settle. His breathing felt wrong. Too shallow and fast.

He forced himself to take a few slow breaths.

In.

Out.

In....

Sothing clicked.

Wenzhi shot to his feet.

He crossed the house quickly and grabbed the bedroom door handle.

He twisted and pushed.

Nothing.

It was locked.

"Xinyuan?" He knocked hard. "Xinyuan, what are you doing in there? Open the door."

Silence.

Wenzhi knew he was inside.

He slamd his palm against the wood.

"Shao Xinyuan."

Still nothing.

That creeping fear returned. It was stronger this ti. Spreading through his veins. Making his pulse pound against his ribs.

"Open the fucking door!"

No answer.

Wenzhi threw his shoulder against it.

The door rattled but didn’t budge.

Again.

Nothing.

"Shao Xinyuan!" His voice cracked with anger. Or fear. Maybe both.

"I know you’re in there."

The silence was making him lose his mind.

Wenzhi hurried toward the kitchen, looking for sothing. Anything.

A tool. A weapon. Sothing heavy enough to break the lock.

But his thoughts were moving too fast. He couldn’t focus or find anything.

So he ran back and started hitting the door again.

His shoulder scread in protest.

The wood shook but refused to give way.

"Open the door!"

Another slam. Another kick.

Another. And another.

Finally, Crack.

The fra splintered.

The door burst inward.

Wenzhi stumbled into the room.

The bedroom was dim. Quiet. Far too quiet.

Then he saw him.

Xinyuan sat against the wall with his head tilted to one side.

His long hair had co loose. Dark strands clung to his forehead.

Blood stained his wrist. Blood stained his hand.

A small knife rested nearby.

For a second, Wenzhi forgot how to breathe. His heart lodged itself in his throat.

"Xinyuan!" He dropped beside him imdiately.

His hands shook as he grabbed Xinyuan’s wrist.

Blood sared across his fingers.

He searched desperately for a wound and found one. But it was already closing. Already healing.

The deepest cut had nearly disappeared.

Wenzhi checked his pulse.

Even though Xinyuan was obviously alive. Even though he was sitting right there. Even though disaster-class Espers healed absurdly fast.

He still checked. Only when he felt the steady rhythm beneath his fingertips did his lungs finally work again.

Relief hit him so hard it almost hurt.

"You fucking idiot." The words ca out as a whisper. His grip tightened around Xinyuan’s arm. "What is wrong with you?"

Brown eyes slowly opened, eting his. "I—"

"Shut up." Wenzhi slapped a hand against his chest.

"Shut up."

Another push. Another frustrated hit.

Xinyuan coughed.

Wenzhi sat back. One knee pulled against his chest. His hand pressed against his forehead.

For several minutes, neither of them spoke.

The room was silent. Only their breathing filled it.

Xinyuan closed his eyes again.

Wenzhi stared at him. At the blood. At the knife.

His chest still hurt.

The fear hadn’t left yet.

Finally, he spoke.

His voice was quiet, almost exhausted. "Why?"

Silence.

And when he spoke again, the anger was gone, leaving behind sothing far more vulnerable. "Why would you try to kill yourself?"