Monday morning. Hikigaya stood at the school gate, reached into his bag, and felt the edge of the application form.
If he just submitted it, he could end all of this.
He took a deep breath, preparing to walk inside.
Then, he saw Sakuraba Ema.
She was standing at the entrance of the school building talking to Saeki, a smile hanging on her face.
She turned her head and saw him; her eyes lit up instantly, and she waved her hand toward him.
"Good morning!"
There was a hint of cheerfulness in her voice.
"...Good morning."
Hikigaya did not take out the application form.
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Throughout the entire day, he was thinking about the withdrawal.
But every ti he hardened his resolve and looked up, he would see Emma's smiling gaze.
That gaze was like an invisible lock.
After school, Hikigaya packed his things, preparing to go ho.
Sakuraba Ema was still in her seat, slowly organizing her school bag.
"See you tomorrow," she said softly.
"...Mhm." Hikigaya nodded and walked out of the classroom.
When he reached the first floor, he suddenly rembered he had left his math howork book in the classroom.
He turned back around. When he reached the second floor, he heard voices coming from the end of the hallway.
"Sakuraba-san, can we talk for a bit?"
Hikigaya stopped in his tracks, hiding behind the corner.
Two people were standing at the end of the corridor.
One was Sakuraba Ema.
The other was the blonde girl, Miura.
Miura stood there with her arms crossed, her expression serious.
Sakuraba Ema blanked for a mont, then nodded.
"Okay."
"Let's go to the rooftop; it's quiet there," Miura said.
Sakuraba Ema's expression shifted.
The rooftop.
That word made her freeze for a second.
But she still nodded and followed Miura toward the stairs.
Hikigaya hesitated for a mont, then followed them.
He maintained his distance, trailing them until they reached the rooftop door.
Miura pushed the door open and walked in.
Sakuraba Ema stood at the doorway, hesitating for a few seconds before stepping inside.
Hikigaya hid outside the door, peering through the crack.
The rooftop was vast and empty, the setting sun dyeing the concrete ground a shade of orange-red.
Miura stood in the center of the rooftop, turning around to look at Emma.
"Sakuraba-san, I ca to find you today because I want to talk about Saeki."
Sakuraba Ema stood there, her hands tightly gripping the straps of her school bag.
"What's wrong with Saeki-san?"
"I know you guys are friends, but there are so things I think you should know."
Sakuraba Ema's face began to turn pale.
"I don't know what you're talking about..."
"I know you like Hikigaya-kun," Miura said directly. "But Saeki likes him too, and they've known each other longer. Their relationship is closer."
Sakuraba Ema's breathing beca rapid.
"I don't..."
"Whether you do or don't isn't important," Miura interrupted. "What's important is that your behavior is making Saeki very sad. She considers you a friend, but you keep approaching the person she likes."
"I'm not!" Sakuraba Ema's voice carried a sob. "I just... I just..."
"Just what?" Miura took a step forward. "Just can't control yourself? Just like him too much? So you can just ignore your friend's feelings?"
Sakuraba Ema took a step back, bumping into the safety railing behind her.
Her breathing grew faster and faster, her face as white as paper.
"I... I didn't an to... I just..."
Her voice grew smaller and smaller, and her body began to sway.
Her eyes began to lose focus, as if she were seeing sothing terrifying.
"The rooftop..." she murmured to herself. "The rooftop again..."
Miura blanked for a mont.
"What?"
"The rooftop again..." Sakuraba Ema repeated, her voice trembling. "It's like this again... surrounding ... no... friends..."
Her body began to tremble violently.
Hikigaya realized sothing was wrong and pushed the door open, rushing inside.
"Sakuraba!"
But it was too late.
Sakuraba Ema's eyes lost their focus. She was looking at Miura, but her gaze seed to be looking through her at sothing else entirely.
"No... no..."
Her voice faded away.
Then, her body went limp, and she fell straight down.
Hikigaya rushed over and caught her before she hit the ground.
Her body was light—as light as a feather.
"Sakuraba! Sakuraba!"
Hikigaya shook her, but she didn't give any reaction.
Her eyes were tightly shut, her face pale, and her breathing weak.
Miura stood there, her face also turning white.
"I didn't do anything to her... I just..."
"Go get the school nurse!"
Miura froze for a second, then hurriedly ran downstairs.
Hikigaya held Sakuraba Ema, feeling her body trembling slightly.
Her lips were moving, as if she were saying sothing.
Hikigaya lowered his head, bringing his ear close to her lips.
"...Don't... leave behind..."
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Miura returned with the school nurse.
The nurse was a woman who looked quite young—so young she barely looked like an adult. She wore a white robe in the style of a nun's habit. Her white hair had a slight pinkish tint; soft, wavy long hair fell to her waist, mostly covered by a white nun-style wimple. A black cross hung from her right ear.
Hikigaya was in no mood to critique this strange outfit.
Her eyes were filled with tears, looking as if she were about to cry.
"L-let see..." Her voice was soft and thin, carrying an obvious tremor.
She checked Sakuraba Ema's condition and then said, "It—it should be a faint caused by excessive tension... Let's take her to the infirmary first..."
Hikigaya and Miura helped bring Sakuraba Ema to the infirmary.
The nurse placed Sakuraba Ema on the bed and tucked her in, her movents as gentle as if she were caring for an infant.
"You two should head back first; I'll stay here and look after her..." The nurse's eyes were still red.
Hikigaya glanced at Sakuraba Ema.
She was lying on the bed, her face still very pale, but her breathing had stabilized significantly.
The nurse sat by the bed, gently stroking Sakuraba Ema's forehead.
"Poor child..." she murmured to herself, tears starting to well up in her eyes again.
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Hikigaya turned and walked out of the infirmary.
Miura followed behind him.
When they reached the hallway, Miura spoke.
"...I'm sorry."
Hikigaya didn't speak.
"I really didn't an to hurt her." Miura's voice was panicked. "I just... I just wanted to stand up for Saeki..."
"Go ho."
Miura looked at him once, then lowered her head and walked away.
Hikigaya stood in the hallway, looking out the window.
It was almost dark.
He rembered the way Sakuraba Ema fell.
He rembered her pale face.
He rembered her weak voice.
He rembered her smile that showed her small snaggleteeth.
He couldn't hesitate anymore.
His existence would only bring her harm.
His hesitation would only make her sink deeper.
The best way... is to disappear.
To disappear completely.
Hikigaya turned and headed downstairs. When he reached the first floor, he stopped.
He looked at the door to the Academic Affairs Office.
The door was closed, but the light inside was still on.
He stood there, watching for a long ti.
His shadow was stretched long under the light.
So long that it seed it might swallow him whole.
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