"I never wanted that," Selena whispered desperately, her voice raw and splintering under the weight of everything she had just heard. "I never wanted you to feel like that. I thought... I thought it would fix everything. I thought you’d hate for a while, but we would survive it and then I would explain everything to you. I just... I just... I never imagined..." Her words dissolved into broken breaths, her throat too tight to carry the rest.
"Just shut up, will you?!"
Razeal’s voice cracked through the air like sothing snapping in half. He threw his arms outward in exasperation, the gesture wide and sharp, and began pacing sideways, deliberately creating distance between himself and both won. He needed space. Like he couldn’t even stand close to these two disgusting people.. It.. It just feels suffocating to him.
He stopped several steps away and turned to face them fully.
Selena stood there trembling, tears falling freely down her cheeks. Celestia stood a short distance behind, her composure completely fractured, silent tears running unchecked down her pale face. Both of them looked at him the sa way now.. with horror. With disbelief. With sothing else too guilt so heavy it seed to physically weigh down their posture.
They couldn’t accept it.
That he.. Razeal, who had been so dearly to them had tried to end his life. And not once. Thirteen tis. Because of what happened. Because of what they did.
At one point in ti, yes, they had believed he was gone forever. They had lived under that assumption. They had carried that trauma privately. But that was different. Believing soone died and knowing they tried to kill themselves because of you.. those were not the sa thing. Suicide ant pain so unbearable that death felt like relief. It ant just alone with no hope left. It ant choosing the void.
Just the thought that they had pushed him to that edge tore at them from the inside. If they had no outlet for it.. no tears, no shaking hands, no words it would have exploded inside their chests.
Razeal saw it.
He saw them crying. Saw the horror etched into their faces. And then.. he saw sothing else.
Pity?
He didn’t know if it was really there or if his mind projected it. But the idea of them looking at him with pity made sothing in him twist violently.
"And you know what?" he said, voice trembling not with weakness but with rage barely held together. "After everything? You both have the gall.. no, the brass neck to co to and apologize? To ask for forgiveness?" His laugh was short and harsh. "And above all that? Expect to fucking forgive you?"
He jabbed a finger toward his own chest. "What the fuck am I? So saint? So emotionless object? So emotional garbage bin you throw your regrets into and then feel better about yourselves?" His voice rose again, cracking at the edges. "I have emotions too! I have fucking feelings too!" His breathing was uneven now, but he didn’t slow down. "Just because you were stupid dumb fucks.. Just fucking absolute brainless shitssss, retarded, crazy.. selfish or whatever just because you made brainless decisions.. it doesn’t an it’s my fucking responsibility to absorb the damage and move on like nothing happened!"
"It doesn’t fucking make it my fault! It fucked up," Razeal said, more quietly now but sohow more violent in the honesty. "It fucked up in ways you don’t even understand. And now you stand there crying like I’m supposed to comfort you for what you did to ?"
His voice echoed in the empty space.
"How dare you," he continued, the words coming faster now, raw and unfiltered. "How dare you have expectations toward ? Did I ask for that? Did I ask to forgive you? Did I ask to listen to explanations?"
He gestured sharply between them. "After everything, I didn’t threaten you. I didn’t co for revenge. I didn’t declare war. I said one thing.. stay away from ." His jaw tightened. "And neither of you could even do that."
"It’s like your explanations matter more to you than my peace," he went on bitterly. "Like you need to clear your conscience more than you care about what I want." His crimson eyes burned now, not with theatrical intensity but with deep, exhausted resentnt. "Because that’s all I can see."
Selena shook her head frantically. "No..."
He took a shaky breath.
"And above all that," he continued, voice lowering into sothing cold and lethal, "I made it clear. I said I hate you. Both of you. From the very core of ." His jaw trembled again, not from doubt but from the intensity of the confession. "Every ti your faces appear in my head, I feel disgust. Revulsion. You think I enjoy that? You think I want to feel like that about people who were once everything to ?"
"What do you say to that?" he pressed. "That you’re sorry? That it was a childish mistake? That you were scared? That you were selfish? What does that have to do with ? Why the fuck shouldn’t I hate you? I have every reason to. Every.. Single fucking Reason."
"How selfish are you?" he demanded, his voice cracking again under the emotional strain. "You won’t even let have my hatred. You won’t even let have my anger. After you took everything from , you still want sothing. You want forgiveness? You want understanding? You want redemption?"
He shook his head slowly, almost incredulous. "You don’t get to control how I feel. Not anymore.. No one.. No fucking oneeee.."
Selena took a shaky step forward despite herself, hands lifting slightly as though trying to calm a wild animal. "No, no, that’s not it," she pleaded quickly, tears streaming down her face. "I wasn’t thinking about myself. I was worried about you. I was scared you would hurt yourself again. I ca because I.. This.. This was never about clearing my conscience. Believe . I even went to...."
But Razeal didn’t let her finish.
Celestia did not interrupt this.. She did not even defend herself.. She simply stood there in silence, her platinum eyes fixed on his face, absorbing every word like soone willingly stepping into punishnt. The defiance in her posture which always existed had all dissolved.. now she looked almost... still. As if bracing for impact. As if she had accepted that whatever he was about to say next, she would not deflect it.
"Leave that. Just leave that," Razeal suddenly said, his voice shifting.. not calr, but different. Less explosive and more raw. "And you know what? Actually... I would’ve forgiven you. Both of you. I really would’ve."
The statent struck like a strange, unexpected blow.
Selena’s sobbing paused mid-breath.
Celestia’s eyes flickered also..
"I would’ve understood," he continued, his lips curling bitterly. "That you both were fucking brainless idiots.. That it was a mistake.. That it was so twisted Fucking miscalculation or whatever you wanna na itt... I would’ve swallowed it.. I fucking would’ve." His jaw tightened. "But that’s not why I hate you."
His crimson eyes sharpened, the rage no longer loud but precise.
"I hate you because you broke my trust."
The words landed heavier than any scream.
"And let’s say," he went on, pacing a few steps as if the energy inside him refused to let him stand still, "let’s say this whole thing was a miscalculation. A mistake. Fine. Then why... why the fuck didn’t you do anything when it all blew up in my face? Huh?"
His voice rose again, cracking with disbelief. "When they dragged to the public venue? When they stripped of my na? When the entire empire was watching?"
He turned sharply toward them both. "You stood there and watched."
Silence followed that accusation, but it wasn’t empty.. it was suffocating.
"You watched them whip ," he said, quieter now, and sohow that made it worse. "You watched kneel.. You watched apologize.. You Fucking watched get destroyed in front of the entire empire. And you didn’t step forward. Not fucking once."
Selena’s legs trembled.
"You didn’t do anything," he pressed, his voice lowering into sothing jagged. "That’s what eats alive. That’s the part that never leaves my head and never will. Not the accusation.. Not even the punishnt. It’s the fact that when everything went out of control.. when it was obvious it had gone too far you noth who knew it didn’t happened.. still didn’t move."
"You know why you both didn’t move?" Razeal asked, his eyes burning. "Because sothing was above . Above my pain.. Above my humiliation? Your reputation? Your pride? Above fucking eee?? Your fear of consequences? Maybe you had already said the words, and taking them back would’ve damaged you. Maybe you were scared. Maybe you calculated the cost."
He laughed hollowly. "Or.. Whatever the fuck it was... it was more important than ."
"No.. that’s not it!" Selena burst out, her body shaking violently as if his interpretation physically hurt her. "There was never anything above you! I didn’t.. I didn’t step in because I thought if I did it would look suspicious. I thought if I defended you they would think I was lying. I thought the entire story would unravel and they’d say I manipulated everything. I thought staying consistent would protect you."
Her words tumbled over each other, frantic and desperate. "Everyone knew how close we were. No one would’ve believed if I suddenly changed my stance. I thought it would make it worse for you. I thought they would punish you even more if they believed I fabricated it."
Her voice broke again. "I didn’t stay silent because I didn’t care. I stayed silent because I thought I had to. Because I thought that was the only way to minimize the damage. I loved you more than myself. I still do. More than anything."
Her hands shook at her sides... She started explaining Obiously seeing Razeal had missunderstood it all..
"And why didn’t you co to ?" Selena suddenly demanded, her voice cracking into sothing almost frantic. She stepped closer, tears streaming unchecked. "Why didn’t you scream at like this back then? Why didn’t you tell you were breaking? If you had told you were that hurt, I would have known! If I knew you were thinking about killing yourself.."
Her breath hitched violently. "I would have died instead."
The words ca out barely above a whisper, but they were not lodramatic.. they were sincere.
"If I had known you were going to try to die," she continued, shaking her head, "I would’ve taken your place. I would’ve let them destroy instead.. I really would have done anything... Don’t ever think I wouldn’t."
Razeal’s expression hardened further.
"Oh?" he said quietly. "And what about then? Wasn’t it already clear enough?"
His voice rose again, frustration spilling back over. "You needed to say it? You fucking needed to spell it out? Was it not obvious I was fucking breaking? I was whipped in front of the empire. I was disowned. My own mother called disgusting. My sister lashed . I was forced to kneel to you. And you’re telling it wasn’t clear I was fucked upp?"
Selena flinched like each word was a strike.
"And.. If you really had that resolve," he pressed, "if you would’ve died instead.. then why didn’t you step up then? Why didn’t you stoped youraels? Even if it ruined you. Even if it exposed yourself. You say you loved more than yourself. Then why wasn’t I worth that risk?.. Do you think am that fucking innocent to buy itt??"
She opened her mouth, but no words ford.
"And don’t," he said sharply, raising his hand toward both of them, cutting off any attempt to speak, "don’t give another explanation. I don’t need it.. I don’t want it."
----
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