Stupid peacock.
Hojo cursed Nino again, too tired to keep up the charade. In the agency lounge she took a steadying breath, then opened Alan’s chat and typed:
[Sorry, Alan...]
In his living room, Alan had just set the freshly-unlocked LV2 script on the table and was about to call a director when the cryptic apology popped up.
He frowned, about to send a question mark, when another ssage arrived.
[I heard about the kendo club from Nozomi. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told Nino about your relationship.]
He scowled harder. You heard it from Nozomi? When? She’d shown him their almost-empty chat logs. So when exactly had Nozomi told her?
Eyes narrowing, Alan shelved the question for now and replied:
[Got it. Anything else?]
[Did she cause any trouble?]
[Not really. She made a request, I agreed.]
[A request? Was it excessive? This is my fault, I can help fix it...]
[I promised to marry her.]
***
"I promised I’d marry her."
Akari Hojo stared at the words on the screen. In an instant the sounds around her blurred, as though she’d been dropped into the middle of the sea.
The briny water stung; her eyes flushed crimson, and tears stread in thick rivulets, soaking dark blossoms into her jeans.
Every breath dragged fresh pain across her heart.
Then her head gave a sudden buzz, and Hojo snapped back to herself.
A laugh slipped out.
Her fingers, bone-white around the phone, trembled. Tears traced the curve of her smile.
The feeling was like stirring honey into salt water, sweetness and ache inseparable.
"Haa..."
She straightened, exhaling as though a weight had slid from her shoulders. In her glistening eyes lingered a flicker of satisfaction.
Really, acting as if she could cut the past away with one clean stroke, she’d never been that ruthless.
She’d thought she’d need another plan, but his stance had shifted faster than she expected.
"Heh..."
Hojo traced the line Alan had sent, smiled faintly, and typed:
"Why?"
"Did Takahashi-san break up with you?"
The ssage turned to Read at once, and a terse reply popped up.
Alan: No.
Akari Hojo: Huh? Then she agreed?
Alan: I’ll tell her myself.
Hojo’’s eyes narrowed; her thumb hovered.
"I do think you should explain properly. But I won’t ddle..."
Reading that, Alan felt a wry tug at his lips. If she truly never ddled, Nino wouldn’t have barged in, and Nozomi wouldn’t be in the loop. He didn’t believe for a second that Hojo could keep a secret.
He typed: "Actually, Nozomi brought it up first. She’ll agree, don’t worry."
Alan wasn’t worried Hojo would run to Nozomi. When he’d made the promise to Nino, it was partly because he couldn’t leave the girl adrift, and partly because Nozomi herself had said that night, "Even if you date her, I can accept it."
Still, factoring in Nozomi’’s pride, he had pushed the tiline three years ahead.
The chat showed "typing..." for over a minute.
Finally, a line appeared.
Akari Hojo: Don’t you think that’s unfair?
Unfair?
Alan blinked. He assud she ant between Nozomi and Nino, yet a whisper suggested she ant between herself and Nino.
His lips pressed tight; he forced the reply out.
"It’s mutual. Feelings don’t co with a fairness clause. Call a scumbag if you need, everyone walks their own road..."
"Besides, your concert’s next month. Dwelling on things that aren’t your business will only drag you down."
He almost added "mind your own life," but stopped himself.
The ssage sent. Hojo didn’t answer for a long ti, as though tangled in her own thoughts.
Just as Alan decided the conversation was over and reached to close the app, her reply arrived, two short lines.
"I understand."
"Be happy."
He exhaled, relief flooding him, and swiped the chat closed.
Arms folded behind his head, he stared at the ceiling until his eyes lost focus, an old mory seeping through the cracks...
Inside the recording booth, after two red lights, Hojo barely scraped through the third take.
Truthfully, the quality was poor, nowhere near her standard, she’d have to re-record. Suppressing his worry, Alan handed her a bottle of water.
"Hojo, are you off lately? Getting enough rest?"
"Mm..."
Knowing she’d underperford, she couldn’t et his eyes and nodded guiltily, offering the mineral water back. Understanding, he twisted off the cap and held it out. Her eyes curved like crescents, joy flickering across her features.
When she had drunk her fill, he hesitated, weighing every word.
"Hojo, rember you said we’d train at Budokan? Lately you seem... distracted."
"Uh..."
Sensing the shift in his tone, she lowered the bottle and blinked up at him, then sighed.
"But if I throw all my ti into work, I can’t give you my full attention. That wouldn’t be fair to you, right?"
She brightened again, smiling blissfully.
"Besides, things are fine as they are, aren’t they?"
"Don’t worry about . I’ll manage, promise. I’ll get to Budokan."
People are strangely confident about the things they can’t do.
Hojo was no different.
She tried—he could see it—but as long as he stayed close, her focus drifted to him, beyond her control.
For two straight months her singing stats hadn’t budged.
Eventually she seed to accept it, sulking briefly before making peace with herself. She looped her arms through his and cooed:
"I guess this is my limit. After we marry, you’ll just have to support ..."
You’re capable of so much more.
Alan wanted to say it, but the words died on his tongue, they would have been pointless.
As long as he remained in her orbit, her life would revolve around him.
***
He drew a steadying breath and pulled his gaze from the ceiling.
Even without thinking, he knew Hojo was hurting tonight.
Better a quick cut than a slow bleed.
He had to be ruthless, tell her plainly that he had chosen Nino, so she could let go.
Perhaps it was unfair.
But...
An image rose, a girl clutching a long blade, smiling through tears. Alan’s eyes cald, resolve returning.
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