Knot me on ice, Captain(BL) Chapter 119: I want to be Me

Kayden

I felt Rhys’s arms tighten around , pulling into the solid warmth of his chest the mont the last of the words left my lips.

I broke then, burying my face in his chest and crying. I lifted my hands and wrapped them firmly around his waist. I cried for the boy nad Derek who had never been held like this, and for the man nad Kayden who was terrified that his past would finally burn his present to the ground.

"I hid it for so long," I choked out, my voice muffled against his shirt. "I buried every bit of it. I thought if I never said the na Derek again, he would stay dead."

I pulled back just enough to look at him, my eyes burning with tears. "After that night... after my father was taken... Leo’s mother didn’t even hesitate. She took in. She didn’t see a broken kid or a liability; she just saw a son."

I took a shaky breath, rembering the small house that beca my sanctuary. "And it wasn’t just her. Leo’s mother’s wife—his other mom—she accepted too. They both did. They gave a room, a na, and a family that didn’t hate . They were the ones who told I could be whoever I wanted to be."

I let out a watery laugh, thinking of the early mornings at the rink. "I loved hockey so much, Rhys. It was the only place where I felt like I could breathe. But I had to lie just to step onto the ice. I had to pretend to be an Alpha, to hide my status, just to play the ga I loved. Every day was a performance. Every single day was a fear that soone would see the Oga underneath the jersey and take it all away."

Rhys didn’t say a word. He just leaned down, his forehead resting against mine, and rubbed his hand through my hair slowly.

"It’s okay," he murmured as he kissed the top of my head. "You are safe now, Kayden. I’m so sorry... I’m so incredibly sorry you had to go through all of that alone. You should never have had to fight that hard to exist and besides I think the na Kayden Vale fits you better than Derek Hamilton."

I hugged him again, the tears streaming freely from my eyes. "Thank you. " I paused, sniffling, and then rubbed my eyes as I pulled away from him again.

I looked up at the sky, inhaling the salt air deeply, though it felt like it was stinging my lungs. "I only t Linda recently, at your grandfather’s house. I would have never recognized her if I hadn’t seen her picture hidden in my father’s room all those years ago."

I let out a breathless laugh that held no humor. "I recognized her imdiately, Rhys. But she... the mother who gave birth to doesn’t even rember her own son! The one she left behind twenty-three years ago! Can you imagine that? She looked right through like I was a stranger."

I pulled back, my gaze hardening as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "But it doesn’t matter. I don’t see Linda as my mother. She’s just a woman who happens to share my DNA. My mother is Rhoda, Leo’s mother. She’s the one who stayed. She’s the one who healed the parts of my father broke. I don’t care about Linda’s recognition and never will."

I looked out at the dark expanse of the ocean and sighed. "Now that your grandfather knows... It’s going to be impossible to keep my identity hidden. I’m tired, Rhys. I’m so tired of hiding, of looking over my shoulder, of pretending I am not an oga when, in reality, I will always be one."

I turned back to him, reaching out to grip his forearms. "I’ll do whatever I have to do. I’ll walk away, I’ll face the press, I’ll take the hit—anything to make sure you aren’t affected by my past. I won’t let my ss ruin your life or your position on the team."

Rhys shook his head and grabbed my hand. "Don’t talk like this! There is no way I am going to let you take the bla for , ever, and I am going to find a way to stop my grandfather. I am not letting you take the bla for it!"

"Thank you, really, for saying this, Rhys, but that’s not why," I muttered, staring at the sky again. "I can’t continue to be an oga. I thought about it when you asked that question at the hot spring, and my answer was half of what I intended to say." I paused and looked at him.

"I am tired of lying and pretending, which is why..." I paused, smacking my lips together. "To fight against your grandfather and what he has against , I am going to reveal to the world that I am an oga."

Rhys let out a sharp gasp, his eyes widening in the dim light of the yacht. "Kayden... have you gone crazy? Do you know what that will do? The league, the dia, the fans, everyone of them will co against you. They might not accept you, Kayden. You will..."

"I’m done hiding, Rhys," I cut him off, my voice stronger than it had been all night. "Winning the Stanley Cup has always been what I wished for as an oga, and now, I’m going to do it on my own terms. Once we win, I’m coming out."

Rhys searched my face, looking for any hint of doubt. "Are you sure you want to take that route? There’s no going back once the world knows."

I nodded slowly, as my mind was already made up. "Yes. There might be other ogas out there just like —people who want to play in the pro leagues but are hiding in the shadows because they’re terrified. I want them to have a voice. I want them to see that it’s possible." I looked him in the eye and smiled.

"Let’s win the Stanley Cup, Rhys. Let’s win it, and then let’s change everything. I am done with the suppressants, the hiding. I want to be known as Kayden Vale, the first oga to win the Stanley Cup."