Nyx Shadowfall’s POV
... Born between Life and Death.
My mother couldn’t accept because I was an ugly half-flesh abomination, a twisted sight that almost made her vomit every ti her eyes lingered on .
And my father... he couldn’t accept either, because my half-bones, so unnatural and brittle-looking, almost made him feel his own bones shatter in his jaw whenever he stared too long.
I was nothing more than a curse born from their union... thrown away like worthless refuse. I barely had anything to eat, nothing to live for. I just wandered aimlessly in those early childhood days, surviving on scraps, surviving on silence.
I have seen people shouting, tearing at each other’s throats, killing without remorse, but... nobody ever dared to touch , nor even get close to .
For them... I was already Dead, a corpse that just happened to be wrapped in the thinnest scraps of flesh.
The only one person who had the right to touch the dead was... The Grace.
And so they never even glanced at , as though my existence itself had been erased from their eyes, as if I were no more than an illusion that haunted the edges of their vision.
Just like my parents.
An orphanage took inside, claiming they would take care of ... and there, just like , I saw many children who had been abandoned by their parents as well.
Even though I shouldn’t have felt joy, even though I had no reason to, yet... I smiled when I first saw them!
"They are like ."
I muttered those words with a trembling, hopeful expression, thinking—no, convincing myself—that at last, I had found a family.
Yet, when I thought I could finally play with them, when I believed they would welco ...
"Eww... You look disgusting!!"
"What’s with this flesh and bone... Yuck?"
They pointed at , their faces twisting in revulsion, treating as if I were sothing foul, sothing alien, as if I was different from them in the worst possible way!
Even though they themselves had strange shapes—so with oversized heads, others with long tails or warped features—and yet, despite all their deformities, they still looked at with frowns, with disgust carved into their little faces.
"A-Am I... disgusting?"
I whispered the words as I looked down at my hands. One hand was covered in thin sheets of flesh, fragile and pale, while the other was nothing but naked bone. I tilted my head slowly toward the mirror, staring into it, and what I saw made freeze... a face split in two: half flesh, half skeletal.
My hollow socket eye, my holed side nose... my jagged bone teeth... everything exposed, everything visible. That grotesque mix of flesh clinging where it shouldn’t. Even though it shouldn’t have been possible to exist, yet here I was—breathing and moving, living and... dying at the sa ti.
"I... I don’t know what to do."
Soon, in desperation, I began to take flesh from the dead. I stacked their rotting scraps over my bones... At first, everyone scread in terror, running away at the sight, horrified at how much more disgusting I had beco.
Yet...
I don’t know how, but... sohow, I discovered a way to nd that flesh into mine. And... now... with enough concentration, I could turn my whole body into flesh with a re thought. It wasn’t easy—every attempt was agony—but still, I managed, sohow, piece by piece.
I looked at the children again, hoping... praying that now they would see as one of them, hoping they would let join them once more.
After all, I was Normal now, right?
No more strange bones sticking out, no more half-flesh deformity, right?
No more weirdness to frighten them away... and yet...
"You sll like ash... yaakk!"
They recoiled. They could still feel it, still sense the part of that was death itself... the curse within that no matter how much I tried to bury, no matter how much flesh I layered, could never truly be hidden.
It was then... in that mont of despair, that Our Majesty, Empress Mary, whose na echoed across all lands for her greatness, reached out her hand and took into her side.
At first, I was sad...sad that I was leaving behind what I had once called my friends... my friends?
Right?
Were they ever truly that?
But then, she began to teach . She showed the truths of souls, of the core that lay hidden within, of the very essence that bound life to existence. She taught , and for the first ti, soone’s words sank into . I learned easily, hungrily. As her lessons sank in, I began to understand... and I... I don’t know why, but I smiled.
I smiled because soone was focusing on .
I smiled because soone was giving attention.
That... that alone made feel sothing I thought I had lost forever.
It made smile.
Smile?
Again?
I didn’t know how many years had passed since the last ti my lips curved in joy, but in that mont... I was happy.
"You need to close your emotions to other things... just focus on the soul, and try to combine it with your consciousness," she said to , her voice serious... Like she wanted !
I smiled softly at her words before nodding, closing my eyes, trying to feel what she spoke of....
I needed to do what she asked of !
I needed to prove myself to her!
She was the one who was looking at ... for who I truly am!
She wasn’t judging !
She wasn’t... disgusted by !
I needed to keep up with her expectations... and for that, I did everything I possibly could!
So that she would like ... maybe even love , in the way everyone whispers about when they speak of love.
I wonder... what would her love feel like?
Would it be sothing greater than anything else in this world?
Haha... just thinking about it made my heart leap, made happy, and only pushed to beco even more eager, more desperate, to prove myself to her.
Hah... however,
"Mommy~"
A soft, innocent cry cut through the air. I saw a little girl running toward the Empress, her tiny feet pattering against the floor. As soon as she appeared, the Empress abandoned everything she was doing and ran toward her without hesitation.
"My little sweet daughter~"
Her voice was filled with warmth I had never heard before.
Her daughter... The True Daughter!
... And that’s when I realized... who I really was to her. What I was to her.
I... I am just a Servant for her.
....
Well...
Well, I an, that isn’t so bad, right?
H-haha... I an... after all, I-I am just a thrown-away girl... I... I shouldn’t be hoping for sothing more, right?
More... ha... More... ah?
I watched them embrace, arms wrapping around each other as though the world itself didn’t matter.
I watched them kiss their faces with tenderness and love.
I watched them bathe together, their laughter echoing like music I could never reach.
I watched... as the Empress dressed her with her tender hands, carefully fastening every ribbon and smoothing every crease.
I watched them sleep together, the little girl curled into her, safe, warm, and loved.
I watched them... always together.
.... For the first ti in my life, I felt sothing new.
Pain?
Yes... a pain in my chest.
I pressed my hand against my chest, confused, trembling. I felt sothing I had never once felt before.
And as I watched Lia—her daughter—being pampered more and more, that pain grew sharper, heavier, unrelenting.
It just kept increasing!
Even when those children bullied ... even when my parents cast away... even when the entire world ignored my existence... I never felt this kind of pain.
So why?
Why now?
Why does it hurt like this?
WHY!!!
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