The cold wind moved through the forest like a living thing, brushing past the trees and carrying the sll of wet soil, gun oil, and burned wood from the campfire that was slowly dying down. The orange flas crackled softly between the two, making their shadows stretch and twist across the ground like ghosts dancing in the dark.
Claudia faced away from Ezra’s narrow stare, her black combat boots rubbing against the dirt in uneven movents while one hand stayed close to her chest as though she was trying to suppress the violent beating of her own heart.
"What made you ask a stupid question like that?!"
Her voice ca out louder than she intended, sharp enough to make two nearby cadets on watch duty glance over before quickly pretending not to listen, since they didn’t want to be the one receiving the scolding.
"Is it because you’ve been getting confessions from others, so now you think you’re so hotshot?"
Claudia tried to sound cold like she always did whenever she scolded the platoon, but this ti the words lacked force.
Ezra stared at her quietly, then he leaned forward slightly, folding his arms while the campfire light reflected in his dark eyes.
"Wow."
A faint smile appeared on his face.
"Says the leader who once said she owned ."
He tilted his head while looking directly at her face, clearly refusing to believe the excuse she had just thrown at him.
Claudia’s fingers unconsciously rolled a strand of her tied black hair.
Her thoughts beca a ss.
What are you doing, Claudia?
For the first ti since Ezra t her, she couldn’t even look him in the eyes properly.
She closed her eyes for a mont and slowly turned her face away again, but that tiny reaction was already enough.
Ezra’s eyes narrowed, then a grin slowly appeared on his face.
"So... you really do have a crush on ."
He pointed at her directly now, looking way too pleased with himself.
The sight of the cold platoon leader acting nervous for the first ti was strangely satisfying to him.
This was the sa woman who always bullied him during drills, mocked his weak body, kicked him during training, and forced him to run extra laps until he nearly collapsed.
Yet now...
She looked cornered.
Then suddenly...
"What if I do?"
Claudia slowly turned back toward him.
"Ehn?"
Ezra froze instantly as his eyes widened.
The firelight illuminated Claudia’s face clearly now, revealing the pink color spreading across her cheeks. Her usual cold and sharp gaze had disappeared completely, replaced by nervousness and emotion she could no longer suppress.
"I said... what if I do?"
This ti her voice ca out quieter and softer.
Like a girl who had already lost the fight inside her own heart.
Ezra’s chest tightened hard, his heartbeat beca uneven and his face slowly turned red too.
It was the first ti in his life he had ever felt sothing like this.
Romance had never truly existed in Ezra’s world.
Back then, his life had only revolved around debts, survival, exhaustion, and trying not to drown under pressure every single day. Even when female cadets confessed to him during his ti now in the army, he always felt detached from it all.
Love sounded stressful, like another responsibility waiting to ruin him.
But this...
This felt different.
Claudia was beautiful.
Painfully beautiful even.
The loose strands of black hair hanging beside her neck moved slightly with the cold wind, while her black eyes reflected the campfire so clearly it almost looked like flas were dancing inside them.
But Ezra hated her personality most of the ti, that was why he never acted like the other cadets who drooled over her beauty every day.
But now...
Now his heart wouldn’t calm down no matter how hard he tried.
She’s so cute.
Ezra clenched his teeth imdiately after the thought appeared.
What the hell am I thinking? This feeling was supposed to belong to guns only.
Not this.
Not her of all people.
But his eyes still wouldn’t leave her face.
Claudia couldn’t look away either.
She slowly raised a hand and covered part of her burning face while staring at Ezra’s bewildered expression.
"Say sothing, idiot..."
She forced the words out weakly.
Ezra lowered his gaze slightly.
His thumbs rubbed against each other awkwardly.
"Why ?" His voice beca quieter. "Why out of everyone?"
The pressure in his chest increased while speaking.
"You’re from a rich military family and I’m just soone with nothing. I’m not talented, I’m not so special soldier who’ll leave a mark in the army, and I’m definitely not sobody important."
He laughed bitterly.
"I’m ordinary."
His voice dropped further.
"Nothing special... So why ? I’m not worthy."
The words felt heavier the more he spoke them aloud.
Claudia’s expression changed instantly.
Anger appeared on her face.
She suddenly grabbed Ezra’s collar tightly and dragged him closer until their faces were only inches apart.
"You fool, does that even matter?!"
She shouted directly into his face.
Ezra could feel her warm breath.
He could sll the faint scent of soap and deodorant on her body.
"Fool?"
He looked at her with disbelief.
"You’re the one who kept saying you hated guys like , and now suddenly you’re saying you like ?"
He glared back at her.
"Yes, because you are a fool. A massive fool. A complete idiot. A ga one at that!"
Her grip tightened harder.
"Why does any of that matter when all that matters is that I lo..."
She stopped for a second, her face becoming even redder.
"I love you, Ezra."
The confession ca out quickly.
Too quickly.
Like she was afraid she would lose courage if she paused.
Claudia’s entire body weakened slightly after saying it while Ezra’s mouth opened, then closed again.
His brain completely stopped working.
Nothing made sense anymore.
Not the campfire, not the forest, not the cold wind.
Only Claudia’s face existed in his vision, then suddenly...
"So cute..."
The words escaped Ezra unconsciously, he slowly leaned closer without realizing it.
Claudia’s breathing beca uneven imdiately as her face moved closer too.
"Is this how you seduce all the girls in our platoon?"
She whispered softly.
Their foreheads touched lightly.
"I don’t even have experience with girls."
Ezra answered honestly.
Their noses brushed slightly before separating again.
"I also don’t have experience with boys."
Claudia tightened her grip on his collar.
"Liar..."
Ezra muttered quietly.
Their lips slowly moved closer...
"EZRA!"
A loud voice suddenly exploded from behind them.
"Are you done servicing the guns yet?!"
BOOM!
The male cadet who walked over froze completely.
Ezra was now rolling on the ground while holding his stomach in pain.
Claudia stood nearby calmly, adjusting her tied hair with a cold expression on her face again.
"That’s what you get for disrespecting your leader."
She exhaled softly, then she sharply turned toward the cadet who interrupted them.
Her eyes beca terrifying instantly.
The cadet flinched backward imdiately.
"L-Leader..."
Fear appeared clearly on his face.
Claudia said nothing, she simply walked away.
"Argh... that fucking...cough... bitch..."
Ezra groaned while clutching his stomach.
"She punched way too hard..."
The cadet looked between Ezra and Claudia’s disappearing figure with complete confusion.
"What the hell happened between you two?"
Ezra only groaned louder.
The training mission continued peacefully after that.
The platoon kept advancing deeper into the forest while carrying out their assigned exercises and survival drills, but the atmosphere between Ezra and Claudia beca strange afterward.
Too strange that the other cadets noticed it quickly, even the sergeants accompanying them noticed the tension whenever the two stood near each other.
This was... honestly a pretty ideal life.
Clank.
The sound of equipnt moving echoed lightly through the forest while the platoon advanced between the trees in formation, then suddenly...
"EZRA! GRENADE IN FRONT OF YOU!"
One of his friends shouted in panic.
Ezra froze.
A dark tal object rolled directly in front of him.
His pupils shrank instantly.
What the hell? A grenade? Why is there a grenade here? Who threw it?!
"EZRA!"
The cadet closest to him lunged forward imdiately, grabbing Ezra and pulling him backward violently before snatching the grenade off the ground.
He prepared to throw it away...
BOOM!
"ARGHHHHHHHH!"
The explosion shook the forest.
The cadet successfully threw it before detonation, but the distance was not enough.
Blood exploded from his arm instantly.
His scream echoed through the trees.
Then...
Gunshots erupted everywhere.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Ezra stood completely frozen; his mind stopped functioning.
Training expeditions sotis carried risk. Smugglers, terrorists, or hidden gangs occasionally appeared inside restricted zones, but that possibility was supposed to be tiny.
Almost impossible.
Yet now...
He stood in the middle of real gunfire.
"RPG INCOMING!"
A cadet scread.
BOOOOM!
Back in reality...
Ezra suddenly spat out a mouthful of blood onto the cold floor of the black room.
His whole body trembled violently.
The wild flow of Cognis inside his veins beca even more unstable, surging through his body like a flood that had broken past a dam. Thin glowing lines spread beneath his skin while the sound of his rough breathing echoed endlessly through the darkness around him.
The mories started flashing faster.
Too fast.
The training expedition, the gunfire, the explosions, the sll of blood and burned flesh, the faces of his comrades.
One after another.
One after another.
He rembered how many of them died during that mission, and how after surviving it, he kept moving deeper and deeper into the life of a soldier because he felt like he owed the world sothing now.
A debt.
A new debt created from surviving when others died.
Even after his four years of military service ended and his old financial debts could finally be cleared, Ezra still kept walking into battlefields.
He kept fighting, kept killing, kept surviving.
He made new comrades, then watched them die too.
Again.
And again.
And again.
The guilt piled higher and higher inside him until it beca sothing heavy enough to crush his soul.
Then...
The image of Claudia appeared again.
The mont she killed herself in front of him replayed vividly in his mind.
The blood, the shaking hands, the tears in her eyes.
Then suddenly...
The mory changed.
Aliya’s final breath.
Her weak fingers held his hand tightly while life slowly left her eyes.
The chains wrapped around Ezra’s soul shook violently.
The darkness around him distorted.
The cries of his dead comrades echoed from every direction.
"Ezra!"
"Run!"
"Help !"
"Why...?"
The voices overlapped endlessly until it sounded like thousands of ghosts screaming his na at once.
"Why keep suffering like this?"
Ezra froze.
That voice...
His own voice echoed from directly ahead of him.
A figure slowly appeared inside the darkness.
It was him.
His past self.
The sa face, the sa eyes, but those eyes...
They were completely black.
"We carried all this regret into this life..."
The past self slowly walked toward him.
"But you know sothing funny?"
Its smile widened slightly.
"Haven’t we already found the perfect way to free ourselves?"
Ezra’s body twitched violently.
The image of when he slaughtered his mother’s family replayed inside his head again.
The blood splashing onto his face, the knife entering flesh over and over, the screams and the silence afterward.
"Ahhh..."
Ezra groaned painfully while clutching his head harder.
The past self-smiled with satisfaction after seeing his reaction.
"The truth only appeared when we finally broke..."
Its voice beca softer.
"But now this new life belongs to us, so why keep dragging around this pain, Ezra?"
Suddenly...
The figure vanished.
"Let’s free ourselves by killing them all..."
The whisper crawled into Ezra’s left ear from behind him and his body stiffened instantly.
"Your parents..."
Another voice echoed from the right side now.
"The main family..."
The darkness shook violently.
"Everyone."
Ezra turned sharply.
The past self was now standing directly in front of him again.
Its smile had beco twisted.
Mad.
"Because that is the only way for us to move on."
Its black eyes stared directly into Ezra’s trembling face.
"The path of complete bloodshed..."
It slowly raised both hands. "The path of complete freedom." Its grin widened unnaturally.
"Did you really think your love for guns ca from their beauty?"
The laughter that escaped its mouth sounded broken.
"No..."
Its face moved closer.
"You loved them because they gave you power."
Its voice deepened.
"They gave you control."
The darkness around them started trembling harder while wild Cognis exploded out of Ezra’s body uncontrollably.
"They allowed you to kill without feeling helpless anymore."
The chains around Ezra’s soul rattled violently.
"So co on, Ezra..."
The past self-stretched out its hand toward him.
"Let’s lose ourselves completely."
Its smile beca more deranged.
"If Britannia sees us as monsters..."
Its laughter echoed endlessly through the black room.
"Then we destroy Britannia."
The pressure inside the room beca suffocating.
"And if the entire world stands against us..."
Its voice suddenly roared.
"THEN WE DESTROY THE WORLD TOO!"
The manic laughter exploded through the darkness like a curse while Ezra’s Cognis surged violently enough to make cracks spread across the floor beneath him.
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