Back in reality...
"Ahh..."
Ezra exhaled deeply.
White mist escaped from his mouth alongside the breath, glowing faintly because of the violent rampage of Cognis flowing through his body. His chest rose and fell heavily while blood continued dripping from the corners of his mouth onto the cold floor beneath him.
But this breath felt different.
Unlike before, when he desperately tried to force his body back under control through pure willpower alone, this ti it felt as though every breath he released was slowly untangling the madness inside him.
The violent flow of Cognis was calming.
Bit by bit.
"You know..."
Ezra spoke quietly into the darkness even though the figure of his past self, had already vanished.
"I know soone who was abandoned by his own family..."
His breathing continued steadily.
Inhale...Hold...Exhale...Hold...
A strange rhythm slowly ford.
"He was betrayed by the people he called friends..."
Ezra’s glowing veins twitched painfully beneath his skin while he continued controlling his breath carefully.
"And before anyone even gave him a chance... he was already labeled a failure."
The darkness remained silent as Ezra continued breathing.
Box breathing.
The mont Ezra realized how unstable his Cognis had beco and how his body was beginning to break apart from the inside, his mind raced desperately for survival.
He needed sothing.
Anything.
Then the thought appeared.
I need a breathing technique.
The instant that thought surfaced...
The Book of mories activated.
Even inside his unstable ntal state, even while trapped within the hallucination of his past life, the pages flipped rapidly on their own before stopping at a familiar technique.
A thod taught during his military training days.
A breathing thod used to calm soldiers under panic, fear, and battlefield pressure.
***
[Box Breathing]
Classification: Controlled Rhythmic Breathing Technique
Primary Function: ntal stabilization, focus enhancent, and nervous system regulation.
A controlled breathing technique used to stabilize the body and calm the mind through rhythmic respiration.
Process:
Inhale slowly for four seconds.
• Hold the breath for four seconds.
• Exhale steadily for four seconds.
• Remain empty for four seconds.
Repeat the cycle continuously.
As the rhythm stabilizes, heart rate gradually slows and unnecessary muscular tension begins to fade. The technique suppresses erratic breathing caused by fear, stress, or overstimulation, allowing the mind to regain clarity.
Used correctly, it improves:
concentration
• emotional control
• reaction stability
• ntal focus under pressure
The equal timing of each phase creates a balanced respiratory pattern, forcing the body into a calr state. Though simple in appearance, prolonged use trains discipline over both breath and thought.
Practical Usage:
Often practiced before combat, ditation, precision shooting, or situations requiring absolute control over one’s ntal state.
***
Ezra imdiately followed the rhythm.
Four seconds inhale, four seconds hold, four seconds exhale and four seconds empty.
Again, and again and again.
Gradually...
The chaotic flow of Cognis inside his veins slowed with the reverse flow affecting his stars stabilized little by little, the painful pressure crushing his nerves began fading and the cracks spreading across his skin stopped worsening.
"I always wondered..."
Ezra’s thoughts drifted briefly.
The image of Veda appeared in his mind.
Veda smiling brightly while talking with the very people who once abandoned him for being called the wasted twin.
Laughing, playing and encouraging others.
"How can he still smile around all of them?"
The violent turbulence filling the black room weakened further.
The air no longer shook and the glowing white lines beneath Ezra’s skin slowly dimd while the blood dripping from his nose, mouth, and eyes gradually stopped.
"I’m not Veda."
Ezra slowly raised his head.
His eyes locked onto the spot where his past self suddenly reappeared, with no fear in his eyes.
"I can never be as forgiving as him..."But..." Ezra’s voice sharpened. "I know one thing."
The past self, narrowed its black eyes, while Ezra stared directly at it.
"I’m not an animal."
"Huh?"
The past self’s face twisted instantly; rage exploded across its expression.
"YOU?"
It pointed at Ezra violently.
The mont its finger moved...
The black room changed again.
Blood flooded the floor instantly.
Thick glowing red blood spread endlessly beneath Ezra’s feet while corpses appeared all around him.
Broken bodies and disfigured faces.
The mangled remains of everyone Ezra had killed.
The sll of iron filled the air heavily.
"You call yourself human?"
The past self, spread its arms wide while corpses collapsed onto Ezra from every direction.
"Then what is this?!"
Bodies slamd against him endlessly.
"Don’t act like a hypocrite, Ezra."
The figure moved closer slowly with its grin widened unnaturally.
"We both know why we loved using the Kel-Tec PMR-30."
Its voice beca softer.
"Or did you forget how much pleasure you took in making them suffer before killing them?"
The images replayed again.
The fourth trial, the ambushers, the bullets, the screams, the fear in their eyes.
"Stop running from your true nature."
The grin widened further.
"Accept who you really are."
"You are missing the point."
Ezra replied flatly.
His past self, froze for a brief mont, its dark eyes narrowing slowly as if it could not understand the words that had just co out from Ezra’s mouth.
"Those who deserve to be killed from my perspective... will die."
Ezra’s breathing remained calm now.
"That mindset won’t change."
His voice no longer trembled like before. The violent shaking in his body had already begun to settle little by little as the Box Breathing stabilized the storm inside him.
"But even now..."
Ezra slowly lifted his head.
"All I truly want... is to live my life."
The bloody hallucination shattered instantly and the endless corpses, the thick sea of blood, the mangled bodies.
Everything vanished like broken glass dissolving into darkness.
The black room returned once more.
Silent, cold and empty.
Only his past-self remained standing in front of him.
"I will do whatever it takes to survive and live long."
Ezra’s glowing veins slowly dimd while the violent flow of Cognis inside his body finally returned back into its proper path.
"I don’t know if this will ever free from these chains."
His eyes lowered slightly.
"I don’t know when I’ll ever forgive myself either."
He paused briefly.
"But that... is sothing for the future to decide."
The mont those words left his mouth...
The reverse flow of Cognis inside his stars completely stabilized and the shattered structure of his forming star slowly reconstructed itself.
Perfectly.
"You fool!"
The past self suddenly scread violently. Its face twisted again instantly with rage.
"You want to live your life with that pathetic mindset?!"
Its black eyes widened crazily while cracks began spreading across its body.
"Nothing will change, Ezra!"
Its voice echoed throughout the black room like a mad beast roaring inside a cage.
"You’ll keep deceiving yourself again and again until you lose everything once more!"
The cracks across its skin widened further.
"Do you want to suffer the sa fate again?!"
Its expression distorted more.
"Haven’t you already lost enough to this world?!"
Bang!
The air exploded around it from the pressure of its unstable emotions.
Imdiately...
Its body began shattering apart piece by piece.
"NO!"
It rushed toward Ezra desperately.
"YOU CAN’T BE SATISFIED LIKE THIS!"
Its arm stretched forward violently.
"The chains will never leave you alone!"
Its voice cracked painfully.
"WHY CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!"
The shattered pieces of its body scattered into the darkness.
"YOU WILL REGRET THIS CHOICE!"
It lunged forward one final ti.
"YOU WILLLLL... EZRAAAAA!!"
Its entire body exploded into fragnts before disappearing completely.
Silence returned.
Complete silence.
Ezra slowly exhaled.
His concentration sharpened instantly.
Then...
Bang!
A sharp tallic sound echoed.
Ezra’s hand moved imdiately toward the sack beside him and pulled out a steel bar without hesitation.
Clap!
The mont his palms touched...Cognis surged between them.
Bright white lines spread rapidly into a complex alchemy circle.
The formation spun once.
Then...
Bang!
In less than 0.005 seconds... Ezra created a Glock 17.
The gun appeared in his hand with chanical precision and without even opening his eyes...
He fired.
The incoming bullet collided directly against his shot.
Sparks exploded in the darkness.
The enemy bullet changed direction instantly and slamd into the wall far away from Ezra’s position.
Smoke slowly drifted through the black room.
Ezra still remained seated in his ditation posture.
"Half-Star Binder..."
Ezra muttered quietly while observing his ntal realm internally.
The newly ford Half-second star linked to his first star, glowing faintly within the darkness of his Cognis system.
He could feel it clearly.
His body felt more nourished and stronger than when he first entered the black room. The flow of Cognis inside his veins had beco smoother and more stable, while the strain he normally felt when performing Novice-ranked gun alchemy had reduced greatly.
It now felt natural.
Almost instinctive.
Even the process of creating Binder- rank guns had beco easier for him ntally, as though his understanding of alchemy had deepened after surviving the trial.
"Argh..."
Ezra suddenly slumped backward weakly.
The Glock 17 slipped from his hand and returned into particles of steel before scattering away.
"My whole-body hurts..."
His voice ca out hoarse.
"And my mind feels exhausted..."
The fatigue hit him all at once now that the tension holding him together had finally loosened.
His arms felt heavy and his chest burned painfully, even breathing normally made his ribs ache from the stress his body had endured during the violent Cognis instability earlier.
Click!
The black room door slowly opened.
Steam drifted inward and outward at the sa ti, mixing with the colder air from the corridor outside.
The instant the door opened...
Noise flooded the room.
Footsteps, voices, groans of pain and nervous laughter.
So candidates sounded relieved to still be alive while others groaned painfully as nurses and guards dragged them through the hallways.
"Argh..."
Ezra quickly covered his eyes with his arm.
After spending so long inside complete darkness, the corridor light stabbed painfully into his vision like needles.
He remained laying on the floor, unable to move properly for the mont.
A few nurses entered the room imdiately to confirm whether the candidate inside was alive or dead.
The mont they saw Ezra...
Their expressions changed slightly.
Blood had stained almost every part of his clothes.
The floor around him was sared with dried and fresh blood together, while faint cracks still remained visible along sections of his skin despite already healing slowly through Cognis reinforcent.
His breathing was rough, but thankfully...
He was alive.
One of the nurses crouched beside him carefully.
"Can you hear ?"
Ezra gave a small nod.
"That’s good enough."
The nurses exchanged glances before carefully lifting him onto a stretcher.
Even while being moved, Ezra could still hear the overwhelming noise outside the black rooms.
The hallway was crowded with surviving candidates.
So sat against the walls while shaking silently, so cried openly after surviving the Eighth and Ninth Trials, so laughed weakly like they still couldn’t believe they were alive and others had blank expressions, almost as if parts of their minds were still trapped inside those dark rooms.
The guards supervising the trials stood around the hall with serious expressions.
Even they looked surprised.
The number of deaths was far lower than expected.
Only four candidates had died, but many were heavily injured.
So had pushed themselves so far ntally and physically that they nearly destroyed their own Cognis systems.
So ca out vomiting blood, so collapsed unconscious imdiately after the doors opened, while others could still walk on their own despite looking exhausted beyond belief.
And so...
Like Ezra...
Had to be carried away by the nurses.
Ti passed quietly after that.
The third week of the Ninth Trial continued slowly until eventually...
The final week arrived and with it...
The Ninth Trial finally ca to an end.
During the passing weeks after the trial, Ezra gradually recovered from most of his injuries, though he still visited the infirmary regularly to replace the bandages wrapped around his chest, arms, waist, and sections of his back.
The cracks in his skin and bones healed slowly.
Far slower than expected.
Even with the strengthening effect of Cognis.
The nurses themselves were surprised by how much damage his body had taken internally, but physical injuries were not the main problem.
The nightmares still remained.
Whenever Ezra tried sleeping without the sleeping drugs, the mories returned imdiately.
The battlefield, the screams, Claudia, Aliya, the blood, the chains.
Just like his past-self had said...
Nothing had truly changed.
But Ezra already understood sothing important now.
Real change never happened in a single day.
It happened slowly.
Through pain, through experience, through growth.
And his own growth...
Had only just begun.
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