"Mum, actually I really don’t want anything. I just want you both to spend more ti with , to make up for all the years of absence – that would be enough. Perhaps, for , nothing is the most important. What matters the most is just having my parents’ unwavering companionship."
Actually, Grandpa has had a really hard ti living alone these years. He’s always there silently missing you, never complaining to anyone about his longing because he’s an adult. I thought he buried all his longings deep inside his heart, never allowing anyone to see through them. Yet, he said I’m his grandson, that I could see through all his thoughts."
"Child, let Mum tell you about my love story from the past.
After we separated, I missed him day and night. I didn’t know when he might return a ssage to . I waited in silence, hoping one day he would, but as days went by without any word, I realized I had truly lost all contact with him.
Not until that mont did I understand what I had lost. I road the streets like a walking corpse, walking places he’d been. I longed for ti to turn back, so I wouldn’t ever let go of his hand, to hold it tightly, making him mine forever. To see her heart break while I could never nd things again, tears would just flow silently. Who could know how much pain and distress were in my heart?
Slowly, I revisited the places we’d walked hand in hand. Everywhere I went, his figure filled my mind. I saw him smiling at , but when I reached out, I couldn’t touch him. That feeling of disappointnt, of despair!
I can’t count how many tis I’ve felt this sort of despair. I was living in a blind, I was waiting for him, day and night. I set all his things as top priority, always on the lookout for a ssage from him. Even a single word, or his harshest rebuke, would have made happy, but I got nothing. He vanished as if he had evaporated from the world, completely disappearing from my life. How could I not feel heartache?
Child, actually Mum is really envious of you. You and your wife have lovers destined to be together. I envy that kind of love. Yet, I’ve had no way to be with my first love in my life. I truly long to return to those tis, even if I were to lose everything, even if nobody understood . As long as he would contact , that would make happy. I numbed myself day by day, throwing all my energy into work. I kept myself busy, not wanting to make anyone angry or upset him, but night after night, I was waiting for her. Why couldn’t fate give a chance to make things right?
Child, do you know how much pain your Mum went through? Seeing the person she loved most in agony. She wanted to hold her tight – all her plans included you, Mum. Do you know how sad it was when your Mum had to leave her so cruelly? No one can understand that tearing pain. I don’t ever want to feel it again in my life. I forced myself to beco more heartless, step by step toward a path of no return. When I finally looked back, I realized that even after so many years with your father, he was still in my heart – like a heartbeat, perpetually in my chest. As long as my heart beats, we’re together. If my heart were to stop, so would each pulse of him, entering the next world with .
My love for him won’t change in this lifeti; it won’t change with ti but will remain deeply in my heart. I’ve never thought about how deeply I loved. For it, I traveled to the ends of the earth, only to lose contact in the end. I hope for a chance from God to make things right, but the world is so vast. I thought of finding him but ended up nowhere. All these mories are just sorrow, and no one can understand the pain in my heart.
I envy your destined love; it’s a love I’ll never attain in my lifeti. I gave my first love to him, my most precious things. I just wanted to be with him, poured all my love into him, but he thought I was playing with his emotions. How could he know what I really wanted? No one understands the pain and loss in my heart. My greatest sorrow is losing him – my greatest love, and the one who loved most. No one can feel her pain. Again and again, I numbed myself, but still couldn’t change the fate set out for ."
"My mum, can’t those unhappy things from the past be let go? I can understand the pain. When I almost couldn’t be with the woman I loved most, I was also in despair. I just don’t understand why you would sabotage my happy marriage. Now I get it. Maybe at that ti, you were just a bit jealous, unable to discern why you’d harm your own son so deeply. But now I can tell you, it might be because you were envious of my destined love, afraid I’d end up like you. But do you know how much I love my wife? I know how much yours loved you. I can feel that emotion!
What’s past should stay in the past; let’s not cling to it. Isn’t it better to live happily now, to make one’s life joyful and fulfilling?"
"Child, so things can’t be let go, so people beco a brand on your heart. To forget them utterly, you’d have to wait until reaching another world. Even there, I will never forget every day with him because he gave the happiest tis, making them unforgettable for a lifeti..."
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