These things have been buried for a very long ti, yet you have always chosen to remain silent. This proves that deep down, you’ve decided to help him, to continue living with him because you’re aware of how strict the family rules are. If he makes a mistake, especially marital infidelity, he would be imdiately cast out by the family. It would be embarrassing for everyone involved. I believe you do this not just out of love for grandma deep in your heart, but also to protect the house’s century-old reputation."
"Nai’er, I must admit, grandfather deeply agrees with what you said. Although I didn’t express these things fully back then, I had profound shadows in my heart. It was all because I wanted to protect the family’s reputation that I could make concessions to such an extent. I cannot let the family honor, painstakingly upheld by my father for so long, be ruined by us. He made the mistake, and I can bear the consequences for him, but I cannot burden my family, my father, or my entire family clan.
I understand my father is aged now, and he cannot withstand any harm. If my actions were to hurt him again, how could I face it? How could I confront the fact that my mother exchanged her life for my opportunity to live? How would I face the ancestors of the Zhang Family in the afterlife?
Perhaps none of these is the most critical, but this is the only outco I can provide for the family, the only contribution I can make is just this little bit.
This contribution might not be the most significant for the family, but it is a testant to my devotion. Every action I took considered family factors, yet I continuously ignored what my family needed most – the care and concern. I abandoned everything, only to end up with nothing in return.
After listening to my story today, I hope you won’t ntion it to anyone, especially to my father. As you said, he is already old and can’t take any more blows. I don’t want him to worry about because of my issues. Now that my wife has chosen to continue living in this house, I’m hoping she wants to genuinely live here and not just say it, not to manipulate my feelings once more. That would only make things between us even uglier, even more impossible to face each other.
These matters can only be told to you; I cannot tell anyone else. If I speak up, the nature of it all changes completely. I don’t want my wife to endure societal pressures. I only hope she can live happily, even if the person she loves most isn’t . If she’s happy, no matter how much humiliation I endure, I willingly accept it. And now, she truly is happy, I have received everything I should, I have endured all the humiliation I deserve, but I harbor no resentnt toward her—it is all my own choice.
I chose to walk this path myself, so I have no reason to bla others.
For the path was chosen by myself, and blaming others bears no significance. It cannot alter my current situation.
Perhaps you find it laughable that, after he betrayed the marriage, betrayed love, I still resolutely love him. This love has deeply imprinted in my bones, leaving no ans to escape for a lifeti. I don’t understand why my heart beats for him alone out of so many people in this world. Do you understand that feeling? Being used once, abandoned ti and again by everyone, yet utterly powerless, rely watching helplessly, how painful it is within the depths of one’s heart, but there is no choice but to silently endure the pain he brings, only to take these wounds as a life experience, a journey. Perhaps that could bring a slight balance to the heart, a bit of relief?"
Zhang Yichen now realizes his father is truly foolish, loving his mother to an irreparable extent.
He genuinely yearns for the day his mother can see what his father has sacrificed for her, see what his father has done for her, and stop recklessly hurting their family mbers. Such actions are deeply painful for everyone involved, no matter how unaffected his mother may feel deep down, but others are witnesses who see clearly what kind of person his mother is, what actions she took, facing what kind of life.
Zhang Ni, although he doesn’t understand love, he feels he has finally witnessed today the terrifying nature of marriage. Simultaneously, he realizes marriage isn’t sothing everyone would fear. For so, it is blissful because both are loyal to each other, while others suffer through marriage because one side has betrayed the promises made to each other, betrayed the vows exchanged, betrayed the trust which was once the strongest bond. It’s only after the mistakes unravel that they realize each action was wrong, yet by then, even upon looking back, betrayal remains betrayal.
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