Rowan
I kept an eye out on our way towards the port. We had taken so food along after leaving Mari’s lovely ho, but it wouldn’t hurt for Violet to have a nice proper al before we left.
We stopped at a food vendor’s stall and while getting our als, Violet made a small sound beside .
I glanced at her. Her eyes had gone wide with pure shock. She stared at the silver coins in my hand like I had just pulled out sothing I wasn’t supposed to.
"You have their currency?"
"I ca prepared," was all I could tell her.
It was the truth, if not the complete truth. I did co prepared for many contingencies. I had taken with quite a few currencies in my coat pockets along with my main pass. When we had eaten our food and was leaving, I could feel her stare burning into the side of my face.
It was late into the night when we finally reached the Capital’s port.
Salt overpowered every other scent in the air and the sounds had evolved from the loud voices in the streets to the distinctive splash and sway of the sea’s waves. Even the moonlight felt brighter as it reflected off water instead of being absorbed by stone and wood.
Massive wooden docks stretched into gray-blue water, the wood darkened by years of salt and weather until it looked almost black in so places. Ships of varying sizes sat moored at intervals and the surface of the sea textured with small waves that lapped against the ships’ hulls.
I paused to welco the onslaught of cool air.
Violet also slowed down.
Sadness spread all over her face with the slight downturn of her mouth and the dimming of her eyes.
"What’s wrong?" I whispered.
She didn’t answer imdiately. Her gaze stayed fixed on the ships, on the water, on the vast expanse of ocean that separated this continent from whatever lay beyond.
"Nothing." The word ca out quiet, almost lost in the ambient sounds of the busy port. "I am just... tired."
A lie.
I had told enough lies myself to recognize them.
But why?
Did she... not want to go on the ship?
"It would be best for us to move. The longer we stay in one place—"
"I know."
She cut off with a quiet acknowledgnt that hurt to hear for so reason, but it was best not to comnt on it.
She had already made it clear just how much she didn’t want with her. I heavily considered letting her go on her own, but I just couldn’t do it.
"Are we not going?"
She turned to look at then.
And I saw it. That forlorn sadness in her eyes. A deep aching that was directed at nothing I could fix.
At that mont, I did not know how, but I just knew the core reason behind her not wanting here.
The question left my mouth before I could stop it.
"Are you thinking about him?"
Her eyes widened. Shock rippled across her face, confirming exactly what I’d suspected.
Kael.
Of course, she was thinking about him.
The silence stretched between us, heavy with truth I hadn’t wanted confird. Around us, the port continued its nightly rhythm. Wolves moved cargo, voices called across the docks and the beach, people walked about. But it all faded into background noise, distant and irrelevant.
The sand underneath our shoes shifted slightly underneath our weights. Cold air from the sea wrapped around us, carrying salt and the promise of vast distances.
We stared at each other.
I wanted to say sothing. Anything. To apologize for asking, or tell her that it was fine, or offer so hollow reassurance that would make this mont less painful.
But I didn’t.
I let the knowledge settle into my chest like a stone. A heavy, cold, and deserved feeling.
This was my punishnt.
Standing here watching her yearn for soone else. Soone better. Soone who hadn’t stolen her companions away or grabbed her hands without permission or was too afraid to let her be on her own.
Her lips parted slightly, as if she wanted to say sothing. Explain, maybe.
But she didn’t speak either.
We just stood there in the moonlight, the sea breeze moving her hair, the sounds of the port humming around us like we existed in a bubble separate from the rest of the world.
[ - ]
The cabin had been full.
I’d seen it in the captain’s apologetic grimace when he had explained that the passenger quarters were already occupied. A rchant family traveling with their goods, taking up every available bunk below deck.
And theirs was the only ship leaving within that night.
It had taken additional coin and careful negotiation to convince him. In the end, he’d agreed to let us board if we were willing to make do on deck.
So here we were.
Seated near the guardrails, bags at our feet as the vast expanse of the ocean stretched endlessly beside us. The deck itself was busy with four crew mbers performing tasks I only partially understood.
Violet’s attention stayed fixed on the horizon, on that line where the calm water t a darker sky. She hadn’t looked at once since we’d boarded. Not when I had settled beside her near the railing, and neither when I had tried to arrange our bags to give us both so space.
She just stared out at the water.
Sea foam sprayed up occasionally as the ship cut through waves. The fine mist would catch the moonlight before settling on the deck. It caught her face too; tiny droplets clinging to her hair, her cheek, her lashes.
She wouldn’t flinch.
She just sat there accepting it with a distant, resigned stillness that made my chest ache.
Her silence had an uncomfortable quality to it now.
I wanted to ask what she was thinking. Wanted to know if she was planning her next escape, or mourning the distance growing between her and her beloved, or simply accepting the inevitability of our situation with resignation.
But asking felt like it would shatter sothing.
Now, the distance between us suddenly felt wider than the ocean we were crossing.
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