Chapter 987: Chapter 978: Probability
It was at this mont that Tang Rong truly gave up. The two of them were destined never to be together. Even if she still kept a room for him or left a light on for him on New Year’s Eve, he would never co back.
Tang Rong stood sowhat despairingly at the bottom of the building, forgetting for a mont what she was supposed to do next. At that mont, she clearly knew that sothing inside her had broken. After this, she probably wouldn’t have the enthusiasm to face others anymore. Feelings are too exhausting, and the risks too great. Often, the more we invest, the higher the chance of things falling apart in the end.
Walking along the street, Xiao Yifei saw a bookstore by the roadside and went inside. It had been a long ti since he last visited such a place. He picked out a few illustrated storybooks suitable for Little Rock and then went back to choose so math exercise books. He didn’t know which books were suited for a child like Little Rock, so he bought a few more.
He didn’t know when he would return from this trip, so he decided to prepare as much as he could for this child.
Xiao Yifei suddenly felt sothing different this ti. He rembered that when he used to go out, all he needed was to pack his essentials and leave without any worries. But this ti, he kept thinking about sothing until he bought books for Little Rock. He realized his life had completely changed.
Previously, he was free to go wherever he wished. But now, he couldn’t do whatever he wanted so freely. Before doing anything, he had to put Little Rock’s matters first. This feeling, Xiao Yifei found quite nice, as if suddenly life had gained a little more attachnt, and he had a bit more anticipation for his future life.
A life without attachnts isn’t that good either! On the surface, it looks carefree and unrestrained, but there are tis when one feels lonely, perhaps during sleepless nights or festive Spring Festivals. If you’re alone, it might be too lonely.
Back at Hu Jingtang’s house, he gave Little Rock the books and other things he bought. But Little Rock didn’t seem too happy. Xiao Yifei thought perhaps he didn’t like the books he bought and asked, “What’s wrong? If you don’t like these books, you don’t have to read them.”
“No, Uncle Xiao. Granddad told earlier that you’re going to another place tomorrow. Is that true?” Little Rock looked into Xiao Yifei’s eyes and asked.
Xiao Yifei could see it too; Little Rock seed very sad, but he was trying hard to conceal his emotions. There was still a hint of cautious ingratiation in his tone.
“Yeah, I have important matters to attend to in another place tomorrow. You need to be good here and listen to Granddad. I promise you that as soon as I finish my matters, I’ll co back imdiately to see you, okay?” Xiao Yifei squatted down, holding Little Rock’s arms, and said.
“Can I go with you?” Little Rock asked cautiously.
“That place is very far. You should stay here and wait for to co back.” Xiao Yifei said.
Looking at Little Rock, Xiao Yifei couldn’t quite put into words how he felt. It was the first ti he had been trusted so completely by soone — a child willing to trust him wholeheartedly and without reservation. Xiao Yifei suddenly felt a tenderness inside him, a new experience he had never had before. He felt an erging sense of responsibility.
At that mont, Xiao Yifei suddenly wanted to have a child of his own. He no longer had true family in this world and, in so sense, he lived alone here. But if he had a child in the future, it would be the continuation of his own life, a child completely belonging to him.
His child could rely on him unreservedly, and Xiao Yifei could also give all his love without reservation. He could justifiably ask his child to do things only between a parent and child. He wanted to have a child of his own.
Early the next morning, Xiao Yifei bought the earliest train ticket and set out for Beijing, embarking on a journey to rescue Liu Rui. He didn’t yet know how treacherous his path would be or what he would encounter along the way.
As he left in the morning, Little Rock was still asleep. Xiao Yifei looked at the room door for a mont and quietly left. He found farewell ceremonies pretentious. One could have left gracefully, without turning a simple scene into one of sobbing antics. That was why Xiao Yifei didn’t like saying goodbye; he just preferred leaving quietly.
Actually, Little Rock knew when Xiao Yifei left; he felt deeply sad. He was truly afraid that Xiao Yifei would abandon him.
Children like Little Rock, on the surface, appear very optimistic and independent, seemingly not relying on anyone. But in reality, they fear separation more than anyone. Since his mother suddenly left last ti, he learned not to rely on or trust anyone. That way, even if soone eventually leaves, he won’t be sad.
That’s how he felt about Xiao Yifei too. On one hand, he longed for soone to protect him like a father figure, even though he had never t his father nor knew who he was. Yet wanting to understand the source of one’s life is probably a curiosity everyone has!
But on the other hand, he rejected the kindness from Xiao Yifei. He feared that one day he would beco accustod to everything Xiao Yifei did for him. If, after that, Xiao Yifei were to abandon him again, that would be the most painful thing of all!
The train headed north, and Xiao Yifei sat there lost in thought, his mind completely blank. He hadn’t taken a train for a long ti. Thinking back, the last ti was during school days, when even taking a train was incredibly joyful.
Almost every winter break coincided with the Spring Festival travel rush, often making it hard to get a ticket. Xiao Yifei and his friends would be grateful even to get a hard seat. Fortunately, the journey from school to ho wasn’t very far, so even with a hard seat, the fun greatly outweighed the ordeal.
Looking back now, the happiest ti in life should be those college days! Just relieved from the purgatory of senior high school, then starting the freest period of life without worrying about the future. Each person was inexplicably filled with confidence about the days ahead.
Back then, every dical student believed they would beco famous doctors in the future, working in renowned hospitals dostically. That was probably the most hopeful period when everyone believed that as long as they worked hard, they would reap rewards.
But who can really predict the future? Xiao Yifei has lost contact with most of those bachelor’s classmates, occasionally seeing their social updates online, which mainly consist of complaints about bosses or lanting the difficulties of life. From them, there’s no trace of the young people full of dreams they once were.
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