(Rose)
We spent the night in a fortified room. Even though the last few nights were calm, we’re still a little afraid of what might co.
The good thing is that we were able to help ourselves with the best leftovers in town. It included a luxurious house to stay the night, and the bed is surprisingly comfortable. I didn’t really want to share a bed with her but it was the most sensible choice.
At least she’s quiet and I prefer it that way.
Morning ca as quietly as the night was. There are no birds to hear at all. Nothing but the calm wind. It feels strangely peaceful. We wake up and set ourselves ready. We leave the house as tidy as before, almost clean, as if we had been guests.
Neither of us wants to loot anything. What we will carry is just necessities and travelling equipnt.
The horses are still there, and calm. They act very serene, as if they truly weren’t concerned about anything anymore. It’s strange she says.
I tell her that we lost count of how many strange we already encountered. She smiles.
We didn’t find any compass, but I did find a map before. We know how to find our way with the sun and we can’t get lost with a map. At least if we find where we are first.
The map is strange too. We don’t recognise much the countryside. We see London, but it looks different. I think it’s more on the west than it should be. Ann thinks that the scale is off and it’s too big.
There are so many things to read on this map we have a hard ti finding the na of the town. The paper is old and a bit greasy, but we found where we are.
And though it isn’t on that map, I know where we’ll go. It will be a long journey though. But I have to go ho...
I know she’s waiting for there. I need to see her again.
I must go ho...
Ann doesn’t know the full extent of my wish to go ho, but she isn’t bothered by it. She has nothing else to do, nowhere to go, and would like to travel with for a while.
Because it’s safer probably, but I’m smart enough to understand that it’s not the only reason. It’s for the sa reason that she helped , because she appreciates .
It still feels a bit odd to , but who am I to refuse her help and company?
We ate a little. Mostly dried food. She found so cans and preserved. Wine too, but I don’t like the taste of wines. She kept the bottle for later.
No luck for any dical supply. My wounds will have to stay clean a while longer. Hopefully they don’t look like gangrene or infections are developing. I’m impressed by my body resilience actually. I even almost don’t feel pain anymore. I still have strange itches on so of my missing phalanges though. And the more I move them, the more it hurts.
We leave. Ann holds the reins of my horse too. I just have to keep my balance over the horse’s movents.
We go at a slow pace at first, and Ann increases the speed every now and then, when I get accustod to it.
We follow a dark stony road. It’s a bit too hard for the horses she says. We go on the side of it. We go through the scenery, through the land. Everything is so quiet, it’s disturbing.
We pass by the remnants of so cars on the road. I’ve never had the chance of driving one. The one we pass by are wrecks however. Long abandoned. So trees are growing inside so of those. Or giant mushrooms. That’s quite funny to look at, but hard to comprehend.
Maybe there truly was a war? How could a country turn so silent in just a few days?
We pass by other roads and bridges, but everything is still and quiet. It’s as if we are the last two people on the island. Well, that surely is impossible, even if a war had struck the country.
We go over the horizon, and see a few towns in the distance from ti to ti. We keep going, all day long. It’s a long and very quiet journey. We make a few stops for to rest a bit, eat, proceed with the necessities and finally to camp. When it becos dark and we’re all tired, we mount camp.
Ann built a curved, round tent very quickly. I’ve never seen anything like it but it sure is convenient. She ties the horses to a tree while I set the sleeping bags. I’ve never seen that kind of thing before either. Well, that’s what is written on the bag that hold them. It’s easy to figure how they work, but it feels really strange. These cloths are odd.
R - Where did you found these?
A - In a house, in a box labelled camping gear.
I wonder who made these things. We make a fire and we eat a little. We go to sleep. These bags are uncomfortable and too warm. We end up sleeping on top of them with a pair of blankets.
~
Once you finally leave your hotown, you discover things you never heard of before, even when it still is the sa country. The world is full of wonders.
And we live in a ti of wonders and innovations. New materials and craftsmanship are blooming through the world, at such a rate that countryside people like cannot truly follow.
And I still am among the wealthiest, knowing there is electricity and tap water in my house. I wonder what kind of new thing could already be common in the households of other countries? Maybe they use more machines already. To help with the cleaning it would be nice. Washing linen is so tiring.
While our horses are trotting at a good and steady pace, I’m left with nothing to do but daydream and be careful with how I ride.
I think about what doesn’t matter like that, to avoid thinking about what truly worries ...
How will be my ho when I finally return?
Where will she be? How is she?
I’m worried about her. About them...
I hope they’re alright, but I’m truly worried. Because I don’t know what might have happened to them since I left, and since we entered troubled tis...
I hope they’re alright... I hope I will find her soon...
My heart aches a lot when I think about her, because I miss her. Because I’m reminded of the last ti I thought I might have lost her...
I’m reminded of that ti when I felt the world disappear before ...
If she’s gone... My life will end.
I suffered that fear once. I survived the loss of her once... I’m not certain I could survive it a second ti.
I must go ho, and I’m scared to death that she won’t be there anymore, again. If that happened...
I don’t want to think about it...
But it’s hard to focus on anything but my worries when all we do is ride easily through empty countryside.
I need a rest. And to ease my mind with sothing else, to stop thinking about my worst fear. Hocoming is the wish that helped survive the worst nights, and the worst fights.
But now I have apprehension too.
I call All, I need a rest. A pause. At the next town she says. Signs on the road nearby are encouraging, it’s close.
We reach it one hour later and I don’t feel so good. The town looks like the others. Abandoned in haste with so mindless destruction here and there. Traces of explosions or fissures bigger than cows ripping the ground apart on so places. Things we don’t understand around here are legion, and we begin not to focus on it anymore.
We focus on what we can actually comprehend, like basic needs, and our goal.
I feel nauseous. I take a small walk in a park while Ann takes a look around for dical supplies and anything useful.
The park is more quiet than a cetery. I wonder how ceteries are now, given that change.
There are so pink flowers I don’t know here and there, sprouting through the streets. It’s pretty, but unsettling.
If flowers blood in the middle of the streets, does it an...
I don’t want to think about it. I need to stop thinking about it. About my fear. About everything. I need to stop thinking. It feels like Victoria is whispering to again, trying to turn insane.
I’m holding my head as I sit, trying to calm down. The demon is not back, I’m just panicking that’s all.
Relax, you’re alright. You’re fine now.. You will make it. You will be alright.
I can’t manage to convince myself. I need help, I can’t calm down.
I miss her... I’m scarred. What if she’s gone? What will I do? Look for her again? Kill myself? I’m not sure...
Ann suddenly tells that I don’t look so well. For a second I wanted to get violent, but the impulse faded quickly, faster than usual. I don’t lie.
R - I’m afraid.
She finds curious that I’m afraid now that nothing threatens us. I explain myself. I’m scared now as I fear sothing might have happened to my sister at ho. I’m worried. It’s eating .
She asks if there is sothing she could do to help . I tell her then, if she can help change my mind, help relax or thinking about this fear no more, she would be welco.
She carries what must be dical supplies in an orange case. Finally disinfecting properly my wounds could ease my mind from my worries, since I will probably scream from pain for a while. I’m not overjoyed.
But it’s surely the best thing to do now if I want to survive all this.
I must look sad. Ann looks at with a motherly smile. She cos and kiss my forehead beside falling bandages. I’m surprised. She’s trying to be reassuring.
~
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