It all started like a normal day.
Han Yu should’ve known sothing was off when the Head Servant gave him a "special assignnt" and a knowing smirk. Special assignnts never ant promotion or praise—they ant soone needed a warm body to throw under a taphorical (or sotis literal) spiritual beast.
This ti, the job ca with company.
Zhao Qun.
A wiry, sharp-eyed servant with the build of a weasel and the charm of a soggy sandal. He wore the tattered brown robes of the lower servants, but walked like soone who thought himself spiritually enlightened because he once overheard a Foundation Stage cultivator burp in rhythm with the Eight Heavenly Breaths.
Zhao Qun grinned as he handed Han Yu a torn slip of parchnt.
"Lost talisman. So Inner Court disciple dropped it during a sparring session. We’re supposed to go find it."
Han Yu squinted at the vaguely talisman-shaped squiggle.
"The outer cliffs? That’s just where the sect sends people they want to fall off sothing."
"Exactly!" Zhao Qun replied cheerfully. Too cheerfully. The kind of cheerfulness reserved for people who just planted a trap and were waiting to watch you step in it.
An hour later, they were ankle-deep in moss and spiritual bird droppings, climbing across a precarious cliff trail where the only thing holding the path together was spiritual pressure and wishful thinking.
Han Yu stopped.
"You sure the talisman’s even real and here?" Han Yu asked. "And why did the disciples fight here? There’s a higher chance of falling to death rather than a proper spar?" he was sure sothing was not right.
Zhao Qun smiled, though it looked more like a grimace.
"Oh, it’s real. But here’s the thing..."
He pulled out a small dagger. Not the ceremonial kind. The stabby kind.
"...So is this."
Han Yu stared.
"Really? In the middle of nowhere? With no witnesses?" He had hoped that they wouldn’t go this far, but reality was different.
’From punishing by assigning so chores to outright killing ... They certainly upped the ante.’ Han Yu know understood just how badly he had offended Murong Xie.
He knew for sure that this mission had co from Murong Xie and no one else. From what he knew, Gao Ren wouldn’t really go this far as he didn’t seem like that kind of a person.
"That’s the idea," Zhao Qun said, advancing. "I was told you’ve offended too many people, especially so talented disciples."
"Murong Xie?" Han Yu guessed.
"And the disciples backing him. And apparently you owe soone hitting them in the nuts."
Han Yu sighed. "Gao Ren..." He knew payback would co for him one day.
"Can’t we just fight to the death in a dignified place? Like behind the laundry huts?"
"Afraid not."
Zhao Qun lunged.
Han Yu dodged with the grace of soone who had recently been subjected to twelve highly experintal pills and had learned to twitch reactively in multiple directions.
They scuffled, rolling dangerously close to the cliff’s edge. Han Yu blocked a strike with his mop handle, spun it like a staff, and managed to slap Zhao across the face with a satisfying splat.
’Thankfully I brought the mop with .’ Han Yu had brought it just in case so that he had a weapon with more reach than his old knife.
Plus, it was less suspicious when a servant was carrying around a mop rather than a weapon.
"That was for threatening my eyebrows."
Zhao lunged again, and this ti he had Han Yu pinned. There was no where to go, as behind Han Yu was the cliff edge, and in front of him was the cliff wall with a tree growing from it.
But when he looked at it, he saw sothing.
"Any last words?"
Han Yu considered.
"Yeah. You might want to duck."
"Duck?"
A flaming net fell from the sky.
It caught Zhao Qun mid-gloat and yanked him into a tree with a WHOMP. He dangled upside down, twitching, smoking slightly, and wondering what spiritual mistake in his cultivation path had led him to this mont.
From the treetops descended Li i, robes fluttering, goggles askew, and holding what looked suspiciously like a crossbow attached to a small bracelet.
"THERE you are!" she said brightly.
Han Yu, still lying on the ground, blinked.
"What. The hell."
"I’ve been looking for you everywhere! I just synthesized a new pill that may or may not invert your skeleton and give you perfect skin. Wanna try it?"
"You just saved from assassination."
"Yes! And now you’re free to volunteer! See how fate works?"
Zhao Qun groaned from the net.
"You’re insane..."
Li i poked his forehead with a vial.
"Hush, I’m busy."
"You don’t know who you just offended little girl!" Zhao Qun shouted.
In response, Li i turned to the man, a rahter dangerous look on her face.
"Perhaps your master should know, who YOU are offending." Li i said.
It was then that Zhao Qun got a proper look at the girl.
"You... The Little Alchemy Demon Girl!?" The man was stunned.
In his anger and chaos, he hadn’t registered just who this person was.
"That’s more like it." She smiled feeling satisfied.
She turned back to Han Yu.
"So, are you coming quietly, or do I need to bribe the rats to carry you again?"
Han Yu stared at the cliff, at Zhao Qun, at the treetops, and then at the growing smirk on Li i’s face.
"How do you know about the rats?" Han Yu asked having thought that only a few servants knew about them.
"Oh I know about the special rats of our sect. I’m researching them too." She replied.
"Ah... I see." Han Yu replied but then asked. "...Do I get lunch first?"
Li i bead.
"I have leftover stew from last night. With Spirit Onions!"
Han Yu sighed and got up.
"Fine. But this better not be another pill that makes speak in interpretive dance." Han Yu said hoping for the best.
"No promises."
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