Wu Wang, Wu Wang, if he verifies his own heart, in fact, he does not want to forget, nor does he want to be forgotten, so he writes a family letter every so often.
In the letter, he wrote about the eldest brother and the second brother, wrote about the third brother and fourth brother, but never ntioned a word about his wife. It was not because he was indifferent, but because he didn’t know how to put it into words.
It was also because he was afraid that once ink touched paper, it would reveal his extravagant hopes, his own sadness, his long-lasting affection, and his own pitiful state.
***
When leaving ho back then, Yixuan’s heart was filled with all sorts of despairing emotions. He often thought of that squirrel he had seen and thought that feelings could be easily let go, and once he let go, he could live more easily.
He used to draw many portraits, all resembling his wife. Each of her frowns and smiles he treasured in his heart. Later, he no longer painted his wife, forcing himself not to reminisce, yet he found himself, as if guided by so unseen force, constantly recalling her in the little details of life, even when she wasn’t by his side.
For instance, the purple clothes she loved to wear, for example, the purple-eyed squirrel he drew, the wine he brewed, the dreams he had...
Now standing beside his three brothers, watching them in their comatose state, and recalling the earthquake earlier, having nearly witnessed his three brothers being buried alive by rocks, what he thought of, what he rembered, surprisingly were those shadows of the past.
Clinging to forgetting, forgetting for the sake of forgetting, yet always rembering.
This contradictory obsession is a different kind of tornt from before.
And yet, while enduring this tornt, has he ever felt well?
The greatest fear in life is partings by life and death. Turning around could an missing a lifeti. The earthquake in Qingfeng Prefecture was like a continuous alarm ringing in his heart, shaking his soul.
What if he died? What if his wife was no longer alive due to these unstoppable forces? Even when separated by distance, he knew she was alive sowhere in this world, living well, and thus his heart was at peace. But what if his wife was no longer here? What if...
Slowly, he buried his face in his hands, not daring to think further.
And it was at this mont, perhaps it was so inexplicable intuition, his body suddenly froze, and then he slowly turned around, hearing a little one’s gleeful voice: "Daddy, hug! Daddy, Shushu! Daddy, Big Daddy, Second Daddy!"
The little guy, full of strength, broke free from the villa servants holding him tightly, waddling with his chubby little legs, and enthusiastically ran to Yixuan.
Wu Wang hugged Yixuan’s thigh tightly, his little face showing an adorably naive smile. Then, he reached out a small hand and happily said, "Daddy, Shushu!" He pointed towards "Shushu," gesturing for his daddy to look quickly.
He was so clever, in the villa, daddy had drawn many pictures, and he rembered them all. He rembered that daddy used to hold him in the villa, pointing to those portraits for him to recognize people. There were ones of Big Daddy, Second Daddy, Third Daddy, Fourth Daddy, Fifth Daddy, and even Shushu!
Daddy was so strange; every ti he saw the portrait of Shushu, he seed about to cry. But now, daddy didn’t have to cry anymore, didn’t have to show that expression of wanting to cry, because Big Daddy and Shushu were both here!
Yixuan looked at Wu Wang, then slowly lifted his head. A cool breeze stirred up dust, and from afar, he saw her, the woman in his mories, the one he missed day and night, yet painfully resisted this longing.
User Comments
0 comments from readers