Gu Xingchuan looked at An Ning.
She appeared carefree.
Yet it seed as though she was deeply mired in despair, enveloped in darkness.
"The Qingming Festival is two months away," An Ning murmured.
Gu Xingchuan only had two months to live.
"It must be the emperor’s rcy," Gu Xingchuan smiled, "that I wasn’t executed imdiately."
Perhaps.
Imdiate execution might be better.
Two months would be torturous.
"Perhaps the emperor wants to give us more ti to say goodbye, to ease the sorrow after my death," Gu Xingchuan said.
An Ning pressed her lips tightly.
All of Xiao Jinxing’s so-called benevolence could not make up for his cruel betrayal of Gu Xingchuan.
An Ning stayed for a long ti in the cell with Gu Xingchuan.
Gu Xingchuan didn’t urge her to leave either.
The final two months.
He hoped he could truly make An Ning accept his death with equanimity.
When An Ning left the cell, she went to Bai Mowan’s cell.
She saw her squatting in the corner, looking utterly defeated and despaired.
Despite her tears constantly streaming down her face.
It was obvious — Xiao Jinxing must have visited Bai Mowan.
Having seen him, she looked as if she had nothing left to live for.
The visitor didn’t even make her look up.
"Bai Mowan," An Ning called out.
Bai Mowan’s eyes flickered slightly, but she didn’t have much of a reaction.
"Do you regret it?" An Ning asked.
Bai Mowan smiled sadly.
She did regret it.
Truly regretted it.
But what could she do?
Everything had co to this inevitable end, unchangeable.
"An Ning," Bai Mowan finally looked up at her.
Looking at her dressed in luxurious clothes, exuding an aura of superiority, Bai Mowan felt acutely the distance between them.
She really shouldn’t have envied her.
She shouldn’t have been so unable to tolerate her.
If she had been able to put down her pride and accept others’ excellence, maybe she wouldn’t have ended up this way.
Perhaps she could still have been leading soldiers on the battlefield.
Instead of degrading herself into the state she’s in now.
"Gu Xingchuan is going to die too, isn’t he?" Bai Mowan asked.
She didn’t ask about Xiao Jinxing, and Xiao Jinxing didn’t tell her, but from his deanor today, she had guessed that for the stability of the court, Xiao Jinxing had stood on the side of righteousness and justice, executing Gu Xingchuan just like he had done with them.
"Yes," An Ning didn’t hide the truth from Bai Mowan.
After all, Bai Mowan was also a person about to die.
Faced with a dying person, the deep-seated hatred seed trivial.
"You must hate Xiao Jinxing to death," Bai Mowan murmured.
"Isn’t this the result you wanted?" An Ning retorted, "Actually, this life of yours wasn’t in vain. You got everything you wanted. Xiao Jinsen died, and your great vengeance was fulfilled. You and Bai Moyi conspired against him, and all Xiao Jinxing did was punish the two of you, while he protected the rest of the Bai Family."
"So to this day, even filled with regret but also enlightened, I am fully at peace," Bai Mowan spoke sincerely, looking at An Ning, "So I must really tell you, Xiao Jinxing loves you. Your hatred for him is unnecessary and unwarranted."
An Ning remained unmoved.
"For so many years, whether when he was Prince Chen or Emperor, he never touched ," saying it still made her feel sowhat discontented, sowhat pained, but she also felt that as she was about to die, why not complete soone else’s happiness.
It could be.
An atonent for the actions of her lifeti!
"I know," An Ning replied indifferently.
Bai Mowan’s words stirred no emotion in her.
"Shouldn’t you be touched? For you, he has always restrained himself, always remained pure for you," Bai Mowan said, surprised by An Ning’s coldness.
"Why should I feel moved?" An Ning asked her, "Why should I feel moved by soone who has repeatedly tried to kill , by any sudden kindness from him? If it weren’t for my luck, I would have died hundreds of tis already. His kindness ans nothing to . His goodness is only sothing he perceives himself; I’ve never received any benefit from it."
Bai Mowan looked at An Ning, surprised by her deep resentnt towards Xiao Jinxing.
Thinking carefully.
Resentnt was normal.
Without it, there would truly be no emotion.
"Actually, you like Xiao Jinxing, don’t you?" Bai Mowan used a question but spoke with certainty.
"I don’t like him," An Ning’s tone was resolute.
"If you didn’t like him, you wouldn’t feel pain," Bai Mowan said, "Ask yourself truthfully, when you received the news that Xiao Jinxing was going to kill Gu Xingchuan, did it hurt you? Besides the helplessness of not being able to save Gu Xingchuan, wasn’t there a tinge of sadness because Xiao Jinxing didn’t forsake everything for you?"
An Ning looked coldly at Bai Mowan.
"Loving Xiao Jinxing as deeply as you do, perhaps I understand your feelings better than Xiao Jinxing himself or even you. But now, you’re just unwilling to admit it because you don’t trust Xiao Jinxing, you believe he doesn’t love you enough," Bai Mowan struck directly to the heart.
An Ning still gave no response.
Perhaps she simply didn’t want to explain her feelings about Xiao Jinxing anymore; she was tired.
"Xiao Jinxing cannot indulge you unconditionally for the sake of the state, cannot act against the heavenly principles due to personal emotions; it’s not that he doesn’t love, but because his deep-rooted sense of duty prevents him. You shouldn’t force him to beco a person who loses his principles. His charm lies in his steadfastness, not in changing for anyone," Bai Mowan advised sincerely.
"I’ve never thought about changing him, nor believe I could. For so many years, he has abandoned ti and again for you and the people; I never fought for myself, I can even be accepting and let go! But the one ti I begged him not to abandon , he still, let go!" An Ning looked at Bai Mowan, "Rationally, I can accept many things, but emotionally, it may not be possible. Without firsthand experience, it’s difficult to empathize."
"You might be right about that," Bai Mowan smiled faintly, "And what I wanted to tell you is nothing more than the heartfelt words of an observer, soone about to die."
So today, she was able to converse calmly with Bai Mowan like this.
She had thought about tornting Bai Mowan further.
If it weren’t for her, Gu Xingchuan wouldn’t have co to this.
But now, she suddenly felt it unnecessary.
Bai Mowan had already let go of everything; what use would further tornt be?
It would be nothing more than venting anger.
And any aningless venting is re cruelty.
And she didn’t want to beco a ruthless person devoid of conscience.
Bai Mowan’s calm voice spoke again, "In the final monts, I can only tell you, sotis letting go is a form of living. Xiao Jinxing carries the weight of the nation, the people, a heavy responsibility, so he cannot let go. But An Ning, what you need to let go of is just yourself and your inner demons."
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