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The Simulacrum ~Chapter 55~ Part 1

Novel: The Simulacrum Author: Egathentale Updated:
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Now reading: ~Chapter 55~ Part 1 from The Simulacrum, a Comedy novel by Egathentale.

"So, we just patrolled the entire university district. Very thoroughly. I'd even go as far as to say we left no stone unturned. Can I go now?"

Even though I just addressed her, Rinne paid no attention to , and instead she continued to sniff the air like a bipedal bloodhound.

At last, she looked at and declared, "We must go that way. We sll sothing we have to investigate."

I followed her line of sight, and after a short beat, I glanced back at her without even trying to disguise my trepidation. "You an, from the direction of the hot dog stand?"

"Yes."

"... You're just hungry again, aren't you?"

Rinne gave one of her usual 'Is this guy dumb or just likes stating the obvious?' kind of looks. I was really getting tired of them, but since I'd only have to put up with them for a few more days, I decided to be the bigger man and ignore it.

"It is of vital importance for every hunter to maintain their body in perfect condition, for the calling of the macaroni dance of the hunt may chance upon them at any mont!" she explained to with a smug expression, which only made groan harder.

"I think you wanted to say 'macabre'," I pointed out, only for her to tilt her head to the side like a confused corgi.

"That is what Rinne said," she insisted with a frown.

"No, I'm fairly sure you said 'macaroni'."

"Nonsense," she dismissed with a sharp wave of her hand. "Your unbalanced ki must have affected your hearing. It must be because of your lack of balanced nourishnt affecting your Yin." She paused here for a mont, with a distant look in her eyes, then she added, "Onikiri says it's more likely that it corroded the gray matter between your ears." There was another short mont of silence, then she once again continued with, "Do you really have such matter there?"

"Yes. It's called a brain, sothing your oversized bread knife doesn't have."

"Onikiri says that you should fornicate with a halfbreed donkey." After saying that, she had a curious glint in her eyes and asked, "Why does it have to be a halfbreed?"

"... How should I know?"

"You don't? We'll ask Onikiri and-"

"Before that, can I ask a quick question?" She sent an intrigued glance, which I interpreted as agreent, so I inquired, "If I buy you a hot dog, will you stay silent?"

"Since our mouth would be full, we believe we would," she responded with another disparaging look that I didn't even try to interpret, and instead I flashed a relieved smile at her.

"Great. In that case, let's go. You can order whatever you want."

Mountain Girl gave yet another odd look as she cocked her head to the other side, and I had a sneaking suspicion that she was discussing sothing with her annoying sword again, but in the end her seemingly bottomless appetite must've overco her apprehension, as she quickly followed after .

Once we were at the stand, I bought her a super-sized hot dog with all kinds of toppings, and then breathed a sigh of relief as she focused on devouring her food and allowed to enjoy so precious silence for once.

I felt a little relieved that this was probably the last ti I had to accompany her around town; I just wished, in hindsight, that I didn't tell her so the mont we t up. I explained to her that I tracked down the Chira's whereabouts and that we should make our preparations for tomorrow's ambush instead of the usual routine. I figured we'd part ways right away after that, but she insisted that we should still do our usual patrol in the central district as originally planned.

I questioned whether there was any point in looking for nocturnal mini-monsters while the sun was still up, but she was really adamant about doing the rounds right away, to the point she was on the verge of throwing a tantrum. At the end of the day, I decided to compromise and agreed to accompany her until around six o'clock in the evening. Speaking of which, I pulled my phone out of my breast pocket and checked the ti, and lo and behold, it was just a little after six.

As they say, ti flies in good company… which, in retrospect, explained why it felt like we've been roaming the streets for ages. Oh well, at least I had a lot of ti to think about how to deal with the situation developing in my living room in my absence, so… silver linings?

Anyway, I put my phone away and addressed my unwanted companion with, "Hey, Mountain Girl? It's getting late; I think it's about ti we call it a day."

Rinne twitched in what I presud was surprise and glanced up at with her cheeks full like a hamster. I had a weird feeling as I was looking at this display and couldn't help but wonder; why is that when Judy did the sa chipmunk thing, I found it incredibly cute, but when Rinne did it, it was just so-so? Wait, never mind. That's not the real question.

The important thing to ask was whether this was a coincidence, or was she consciously trying to act cute in front of ? If it was the forr, then it was safe to ignore her. If it was the latter... damn, I might have to unironically develop so anti-harem counterasures after all. What a scary (and incredibly annoying) thought.

While I was considering this, Rinne swallowed the food in her mouth and whined, "But we haven't finished our patrol! We didn't make a full circle!"

"And whose fault is that?" I asked back with a critically raised brow. "You sampled three fast food stalls, including this one, we had to go out of our way so you could buy ice cream, and you even stopped by that souvenir shop by the bus station."

"It was very necessary," she countered weakly, almost sulkily, but then she regained so of her vigor as she stuffed the remainders of her hot dog into her mouth, swallowed it with nary any chewing, and then she pointed at before she announced, "We're finished! Let us continue our pursuit with the haste of hungry wolves! Follow us, and we'll be done soon!"

"No, we're already done for the day," I stated on no uncertain terms. "Listen, Mountain Girl. I told you I have important business, and I'm already a little late because I humored you."

"What could be more important than the thrill of the hunt and the promise of the crimson lifeblood of the blah-blah-blah massacre blah-blah blood et cetera..."

I tuned her out and let her prattle on about her usual nonsense while I seriously considered how I should answer her. I could simply tell her that it was about my girlfriends, but if she really had so kind of bafflingly unwarranted and unwanted interest in , then doing so could result in all kinds of unpredictable and irrational reactions, such as sulking or throwing another tantrum. Needless to say, I needed her to be in a predictable and at least sowhat rational shape for dealing with the Chira tomorrow, so I decided that keeping her useful was more important than any anti-harem counterasures at the mont.

"Blab-blah-blah delight of the… Hello? Are you listening to us L-Le... L-L-Leeeeo..." Rinne addressed again, probably because I wasn't really reacting to anything she was saying, but then her words turned into awkward mumbles by the end, only for her to avert her eyes and tack on a quiet, "... nard-san?"

... Okay, it was official now. This was definitely a flag if I've ever seen one. After this whole Chira business was over, I had to draw the line ASAP before it would lead to so of the dreaded shenanigans. In the worst-case scenario, I could accidentally unlock so kind of yandere bad end route with her. Oh, the (literal) horror.

Tropey jokes aside, I took a deep breath and told her, "Yes, I'm listening, and no, I still can't stick around. I really have so business to attend to, and I don't think we're going to find any mini-Chiras anyway." I waited for a second to see if she wanted to say sothing, and since it looked like she did, I quickly continued before she could. "Anyhow, please don't forget that we have a eting tomorrow, in the park, just after dark."

"Are you certain the creature of the underworld will be there?"

"Trust , it will be," I told her in the company of a reassuring smile, my confidence mainly stemming from my trust in Brang's report.

"Very well," she seemingly relented, but then after a mont she looked in the eyes and leveled the question, "After we've slain the vile creature, may we invite you?" at .

Her request caught completely off-guard, so before I knew it, I reflexively asked back, "Where?"

"To New Guinea," she replied as easily as if she was talking about so neighborhood café or sothing.

"Do you an the actual country?"

"Is there any other New Guinea?" she responded with sothing that didn't sound like a rhetoric question at all.

"I don't think so," I told her a little warily, and she imdiately nodded with a quiet 'I didn't think so either'. Anyhow, I unsubtly rubbed my temple for a mont and said, "Fine, I'll bite. Why do you want to follow you to New Guinea?"

"To celebrate?" she answered with a question of her own, accompanied by another peculiar expression I once again refrained from translating.

"And we have to go there to celebrate," I stated with my inner Judy channeled to its fullest.

"Yes," Rinne confird my supposition with the kind of obliviousness that bordered on innocence. "Where else are we going to find a Ropen to slaughter?"

"A what again?"

"A Ropen," she repeated with unusual patience.

The word sounded oddly familiar, and after rummaging through the ssy filing cabinets of my mory for a few long monts, I managed to put my finger on it. When I looked into the supernatural background of the world for the first ti, I checked out a lot of kooky sites in search of clues, which included so about cryptids and other allegedly supernatural creatures.

If my mory served right, the Ropen was so kind of flying pterodactyl thing that glowed in the dark and ate people or sothing. I didn't really look into it, because at a cursory glance it seed even sillier than the Loch Ness Monster, and considerably less credible (which was saying sothing).

Because of that, I think no one could bla for blurting out, "Wait, that's real?"

"Of course," Rinne confird, much to my surprise.

"And we celebrate by 'slaughtering' one," I deadpanned at her after I overca my montary disbelief, with my inner Judy once again rising to the surface. Her quiet grunt in the affirmative made feel like I was on the short end of one of those situations where people were discussing an inside joke I couldn't understand. To be fair though, in this case it was safe to say I didn't really want to understand either, so I settled on telling her, "How about we co back to this tomorrow?"

Rinne looked at funny for a mont, but then I recognized that she was once again 'talking' with her sword, and at last her eyes opened wide as if she just had a huge revelation.

"You're correct! A true hunter should never drink upon the pelt of the bear ahead of ti!" I figured that must've been so kind of esoteric idiom she was brute force translating as usual, but it didn't stop my face from slackening in perplexity. She completely ignored my reaction, and she added, "Onikiri agrees that we should discuss this once we have already painted the woods in crimson and we know for sure that your tracking of the monstrous creature of the underworld was correct and not just a pathetic attempt you devised to impress Rinne to ensnare us to satisfy your lustful desires."

"… I thought we were over this, but just for the record, I'd like to state that what you said is about as far as it can possibly get from my actual intentions. Also, tell that piece of sharpened scrap tal on your back to take a nice, long bath in nitric acid."

"Onikiri says she doesn't understand, but that you are an anus all the sa," Rinne inford in her usual tone, and I figured this was as good a note as any to end the conversation. Also, for the record, I was not even a little bit bitter about the fact that my insult, which may or may not have been the result of spending half an hour looking up acids that can dissolve steel at room temperature for a verbal sparring session like this, was completely brushed off. Not at all.

I let out a small, not at all disappointed sigh, and told Mountain Girl, "Whatever. See you tomorrow."

Saying so, I turned on my heel and, after a small wave, I walked away from her with asured steps, forcibly ignoring the longing eyes and the timid way she kept waving towards right until I was out of sight. Yep, I really needed to ditch her after tomorrow; before she would sohow strong-arm into raising even more flags and sohow end up in a love-trapezohedron.

But putting my potential harem troubles aside, it was ti to use my Far Sight to take another glance at my ho, and when I did so, I couldn't help but shake my head. At this point I could've Phased over at any mont, but after so consideration, I dismissed the idea and decided to walk instead. I an, the weather was surprisingly nice today, so there was nothing wrong with enjoying so fresh air. It wasn't like I was delaying the inevitable or anything…

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