""Welco ho, master!""
What can I say? The sight that greeted when I arrived ho was… new. Yes, let's go with that. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fully expecting this, yet I still had to stop and take a shallow breath to find my proverbial center before I resolved myself to step through the threshold of my own house.
"Hello, girls," I nonchalantly greeted the two french maids giving deferential bows right in the middle of my entryway. Needless to say, while I was calm on the surface, it was all due to heroic levels of willpower forcing a laidback neutral expression onto my face. I had no choice though; this was but the first grueling battle in a campaign of silent psychological warfare, and I refused to be the first to flinch.
"Let take your coat!"
Saying so, the strangely energetic blonde maid skipped over to my side and insistently helped out of my usual long coat. Speaking of which, I wondered if I should buy a duffel or sothing similar for the winter, preferably in a color other than black. If nothing else, maybe it would finally convince Brang to drop the nickna he gave .
While I considered such things, the helpful maid carefully peeled out of my outerwear and put it onto the hanger by the door. She was wearing what I would've considered a fairly standard maid uniform (and by that I an a typical 'maid café' type of frilly uniform, not the real Victorian kind), complete with the headpiece and stockings, the latter of which was clear to see due to the sowhat short-ish skirt she was wearing. Oh, and on second look, she had a huge bow on the back, which was a nice touch, if a bit impractical.
The brunette maid was dressed in the exact sa fashion, except with maybe a bit more frills on the apron and a teensy bit longer skirt. Overall, their uniforms showed so skin, but thankfully they weren't the 'sexy maid' type costus you could order off so questionable websites. I'm not going to lie, I had no idea how I would've reacted when faced with those. Probably so unique, never-before-seen flavor of horror.
Theoretical skimpy outfits aside, I continued to maintain my nonchalant façade as I slipped out of my outdoor shoes. By the ti I put on my slippers, the two maids once again stood right in front of and bowed more or less in unison.
"What would you like to have first, master?" the deadpan maid asked with the utmost seriousness. "Dinner, a bath, or ?"
It was probably not surprising, but there was an obnoxiously long silence following in the wake of her words, but I managed to sohow preserve my poker face through it all, even though the clichéd line made my blood boil. No, not that way. But then, before I could say anything, the blonde maid suddenly cut in, her words tinted with mild panic.
"Tea! She ant tea!"
"Yes, that's most certainly what I ant," the brunette maid conceded the point with just a hint of a pout on her lips. My traitorous hypothalamus imdiately made a note of how cute that was, but I successfully maintained my neutral expression all the sa, because dammit, I was not going to react, no matter how little blood was in my hormone-stream! At this point, this was all about the principle!
I softly exhaled and squeezed out a jovial, "It's a little late for that, but sure, I'm not going to turn down a warm cup."
The maid duo shared an awkward glance between the two of them, but they soon resigned themselves to their plans getting derailed right from the get-go. They both gave another bow, which was followed up by a hand gesture for to follow them.
"I don't think it's working," the blonde maid whispered in a low voice, which was obviously still perfectly audible to , as they turned on their heels.
"Just stick to the script," her brunette 'colleague' advised her in an even lower voice. "I get the tea, you get him comfortable."
"On it!" she all but exclaid, but then she finally noticed that she was too loud. She carefully glanced over her shoulder, and upon noticing that I was looking at her, she let out a small and increasingly rare 'Awawa…!' under her breath before hastily adding, "I-I an, this way, master!"
Steeling my facial muscles was getting harder by the minute, and I rationally knew that I should've cut this whole charade short at the earliest opportunity… but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious (and maybe a tiny bit fascinated) about what these two were trying to do, so I wordlessly obliged them and obediently followed after her.
Once we got into the living room, I was faced with another minor shock. In retrospect, I really shouldn't have been so surprised, as I've seen them preparing sothing through Far Sight, but the belated realization that they went out of their way to re-decorate my whole living room really floored for a mont. As for what the décor was supposed to invoke, it was hard to tell, with a curious mixture of scented candles and even so rose petals here and there, but if I wanted to sum it up on one word, it would be tacky… Nah, I'm kidding! It would be romantic. Yes. I'd never consider sothing my girlfriends put so much effort into 'tacky'! Perish the thought!
Seriously though, they might've gone just a liiiiiitle bit overboard. I've no idea where they got them, but they even put a pair of those fancy sterling silver candlesticks onto the coffee table, with matching dinner candles to boot. Not only that, they were surrounded by tall wine glasses and even a pre-cooled bottle of alcohol-free champagne. Say what you will, that was so serious dedication to the aesthetic. Except for the champagne, because it had a cartoon dragon on the side, but still. 'A-' for effort.
The blonde maid once again gestured for to follow after her, and I did so as soon as I finished drinking in the scenery, after which I got, for lack of better words, 'seated' in my usual comfy chair. In the anti the deadpan maid headed for the kitchen, leaving the two of us alone in the living room.
To be honest, I was about ninety percent certain that we would get enveloped by an awkward atmosphere at this point, but my expectations were swiftly betrayed the mont the brunette maid left the premises.
"So? What do you think?" Elly asked in a soft yet excited whisper as she pinched the hem of her skirt and twirled around to show off her outfit, followed by a small and perfectly executed curtsy. Just as you would expect from her, really.
I gave my girlfriend a slow look-over, and decided to answer with a flat, "You're breaking character, princess."
"Oh, right! I an, does the uniform suit , master?" she inquired in a demure voice, then after a second or two her eyes opened wide as if she just recalled sothing, and she also tried to do that eyelash-fluttering thing that Judy used to terrorize last night.
As for her question, I had to admit that she looked incredibly cute in that uniform, but saying that out loud would've only exacerbated the misunderstanding about my nonexistent maid-fetish, so I decided on the diplomatic answer of, "I don't think there are any clothes out there that wouldn't look great on you, so yes, it does."
The princess quickly digested my words and gave one of her smug little smirks in return… but then she twitched and quickly assud a ramrod-straight posture when Judy returned from the kitchen.
"That was quick," I noted, only mildly baffled by the fact that she was carrying the teapot and accessories on a fancy kitchen trolley.
"It's a maid's duty to be prepared to imdiately fulfill her master's every desire," she stated in a slightly-more-deadpan-than-usual voice the mont she stopped next to my chair. She picked up the porcelain teapot and gracefully filled up my 'I
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