My steps were hard, fast, and heavy, my chest tight as I cried for my own misfortune—Arinya’s misfortune.
My heart felt like it had been pierced again and again, every beat aching, every breath soaked in hatred and grief.
It was such a cruel life.
Damar and Fenric followed close behind, but they did not stop . They only watched. And when I could no longer walk—when my legs finally gave way and I dropped to my knees, surrendering to my sorrow, wailing uncontrollably—they ca to my side, patting gently.
I clutched Fenric’s leg, sobbing harder, my voice breaking as I repeated the sa words over and over,
"Why ? Why? Why?"
The sight of it shattered their hearts.
All the excitent I had carried—the hope of seeing my mother and leaving without regret—had twisted into sothing unbearable, sothing so painful my heart felt like it would burst.
If I knew things were going to be like this, I wouldn’t have been so adamant, stubborn to see her one last ti before leaving.
If I knew, I wouldn’t be feeling this twisted.
I hate this.
After a mont of what felt like an hour, crying my eyes out, I faintly cald down.
My eyes were red and swollen from all that crying, and I had exhausted myself so much I couldn’t lift a finger.
That was when Damar lifted in his arms, looking down at pitifully, and then clutched tighter.
"You can sleep now." He said and then pressed his lips to my forehead, kissing lightly. "By the ti you wake up, it will all be over."
That was what he said.
It’s not like this feeling will disappear once I wake up. It won’t.
The heaviness in my heart, the redness of my eyes, and the dryness of my throat—all that was enough to remind of the pain and despair I had fallen into this very mont.
I don’t think it will go away any ti soon.
But I don’t want to worry them either.
I can fake a smile and force a laugh, but in the end, I can’t fake serenity.
"I’m sorry," I whispered, my voice hoarse from all that sobbing and crying.
I really didn’t want them to see in such a pathetic state again, not after that Veyra and Kaelor incident. But we can’t always have what we want.
That’s life for you.
The unexpected always seems to find you.
"Shh, it’s alright," Fenric said with a gentle voice, stroking my hair from the side as he stared at with a soft, moving gaze. "Just sleep, Arinya. As he said, it’ll be over once you wake up."
They were so good to , trying to keep together even when I was breaking apart.
I wanted to thank them, but the words did not slip out of my lips properly as my eyelids grew increasingly heavy, like I had just been placed under a sleeping spell.
Slowly I drifted into sleep with the words of gratitude lingering in my mind and heart, listening to Damar’s steady heartbeat and feeling their steady comfort surround .
The next mont I woke up, I found myself on Damar’s arms.
It seed like it was still dark outside.
Even with how exhausted I was, I did not sleep for long and woke up before either of them.
I looked at both of them sleeping quietly, large hands sprawled over my body as if to comfort with their presence.
Did I really deserve such n?
The question rang in my ear but I didn’t deem myself unworthy. Rather, with the gentle smile that played on my lips, I found myself lucky.
They say when life tosses you lemons, make lemonade. But if the lemonades are too sour, then try to find a bit of sugar or spice. Sothing that’ll help the lemonade taste better until it’s finished.
And then at the end of that sour drink, you’ll get a sweet reward.
I think I’m about to get my sweet reward.
Though what happened with my mother was unfortunate, I want to look at the bright side because the lemonade is almost finished.
I suddenly felt hot and wondered if it was thanks to the low ventilation in the cave.
It was so uncomfortable.
’I need so air,’ I thought, my hand on my throat. ’And also water.’
There should be a pouch of water sowhere.
I tried to get out of their hold and step out for a bit without waking them, but failed.
A little movent was all it took to bob Fenric’s head up and he asked,
"Are you awake, Arinya? You should sleep more."
Damar woke up hearing his voice, which he didn’t try to keep down, and his arms wrapped around even tighter.
"What are you trying to do when the sun hasn’t risen yet?" He asked, and I went silent.
They were still worrying about even when they just woke up. How did they have such sharp instincts?
Oh right, they’re beastn. That’s why.
"I feel hot," I suddenly said, but my voice cracked.
"Arinya, is your throat alright?" Fenric asked, concerned as he reached for the water pouch.
"It’s not too bad." I said, but accepted the water.
I drank a bit and then handed it back to him, cleaning my chin as a few drops of water had rolled down.
"I... I just want to get so air, that’s all." I said.
"Ah, is it because we’re too close?" Fenric asked, looking concerned.
"Are my arms too warm?" Damar asked, equally looking concerned but I honestly didn’t have an answer to that.
All I knew was that I was hot, feeling uncomfortable, and needed to cool down.
It must be the heat from my racing heart, pumping my blood faster than usual due to anxiety.
"You guys can just keep sleeping. I’ll just sit outside." I said, their arms loosening and I thought they were letting go.
But as soon as I stood up, they also raised their bodies.
I looked over my shoulder and asked,
"Won’t you continue to sleep?"
"We can’t let you sit outside alone," Damar said.
"Yeah, what if soone kidnaps you?"
That’s quite far-fetched. Who would do sothing like that right in the heart of the tribe?
And if sothing like that were to happen, it would’ve already taken place a long ti ago.
Arinya is one to walk around even when it’s so late anyway.
Maybe it’s because they never deed her worthy enough to even get kidnapped. After all, they all avoided her.
I sighed.
Well, I guess they can only think of the worst while I’m in the state that I’m in right now.
"So you want to co sit outside with ? To protect ?" I asked and they nodded. "But you still need to sleep," I said to them.
"You too, Ari," Damar ca closer and then brushed his hand over my hair, slipping it over my shoulder. "You need rest."
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