I looked at Damar’s hand on my shoulder and then at his face. His eye held a firm and unwavering resolve.
Just like it did when he did not let approach the hut alone.
"You need rest."
It’s just like he’s telling what I had to sleep no matter what, scared that it would affect my ntal health or whatnot, but I’m sure he’s not thinking that far.
He just wants to relax and not think about my problems any longer than I already have.
"Yeah, I guess I do. But I can’t sleep right now because it’s hot." I said and began walking outside. "Maybe I’ll feel better after sitting outside for a bit."
"We’ll co with you then," Fenric said and hurried out with . "If you fall asleep while taking in the night breeze then even better. We’ll be by your side to protect you."
His words claid and assured .
"Alright, do whatever, haha," I said.
Once we stepped out, I felt I could finally breathe. The air was cool and refreshing, sweeping at with a crisp winter cold, but for so reason, this did not stop the heat that was burning underneath my skin.
What was it?
I sat on the rock in front, and Fenric sat down by my leg, crossed his legs, and rested his head on my thigh.
"I guess the air does seem nice." He said.
"Right?"
Damar ca to my other side, coiled his tail just enough to balance his body, and pushed my head to rest on his shoulder.
"If staying outside makes you feel better, then try to sleep," he said, and I almost felt like he was nagging, going on and on about how I needed rest.
Of course, I know I needed rest.
After all, I know my body better than anyone.
It’s just... The rest wasn’t coming.
The unease in my heart, accompanied by the heaviness, did not let breathe in peace.
And that’s probably why I feel so hot right now, despite feeling the cold and crisp air blow over my skin.
Winter was fast approaching.
"Will you guys listen to for a little while?" I asked, my voice calm and somber.
They did not say anything, so I took that as a go-ahead to speak.
I wasn’t trying to speak about my past life or lant about my problems; I just wanted to speak.
Wanted to talk for a while and get so things out of my chest.
"Do you know why I keep making these tools? It’s because I wish to make my life more comfortable. But then, how can I make my life comfortable when I decide to travel into the world and search for the unknown?" I asked. "It’s almost like I’m giving myself an unnecessary chore because if I want to live comfortably, I should just find a nice and comfortable hut to live in, with you guys."
"Then why don’t you do that?" Fenric asked and I went silent.
"Let’s say it’s because I’m greedy," I said. "I want to have the things I never got to have before. I want to feel on top of the world, going on adventures, and having so much fun." I explained, closing my eyes as I thought all of this out loud. "I want to have a bunch of males at my feet, loving and showering with affection, just like you two do right now. I want all of it. And I can’t possibly get all of that if I stayed cooped up in a comfortable hut, can I?"
I could hear Damar’s heart. It was racing.
I can reckon that ntioning having more males spiked his jealousy but he could not say anything in regards to that.
After all, I already made it clear from the beginning that I was going to have more than two mates.
And as for Fenric, I don’t know what he’s thinking but he’s quiet.
"I’m just ranting at this point but I hoped to speak a little more. I’m greedy and probably very selfish. I don’t think I’m a good person either but even while knowing that, do you two still not see any differently?" I asked and then the silence ca.
A heavy and deafening silence, where we could only hear the crickets as they tweeted the night away.
I wonder if they would see differently after I said all of that but then Fenric said,
"You deserve everything you want, Arinya," he said. "Greedy? Selfish, it doesn’t matter. And you say you’re not a good person, but I think otherwise. So, I support you. After all," he raised his head and smiled at . "...if I don’t support my wife, who will?"
His words touched . I was glad he didn’t see any differently.
"Ari," Damar called and lifted my chin so I could look into his eyes. "Just as you are selfish and greedy, I too, am a selfish and greedy creature. So, there is nothing wrong with that. Everything you want, I will try to fulfill them all. I will support you."
I bit my lip, my eyes welling up again as they promised their unwavering support.
Really... I’m really, really lucky to have them.
Just when I was dwelling on this, Damar spoke up again, but his tone had changed from soft to sothing mixed with curiosity.
"Ari," Damar suddenly called, and I rolled my eyes at him.
"What is it?"
"I don’t know why but... Your scent slls a little... Different." He said and I paused.
I raised my head and looked at him, confused.
What did he an my scent slled a little different?
I tried to sniff myself, but quickly recalled that I wasn’t able to get even a whiff of my own sll.
Did this have sothing to do with that scent that they fell for so much?
The very one they could sll from a mile away?
"What do you an?" I asked.
"Hmm," Fenric rubbed his chin. "Now that you ntion it, it does. It slls a little different."
Then, is it a bad thing or a good thing?
I looked at their faces, trying to judge the situation when Fenric grabbed my leg, his hand rubbing down until he got to my ankle, and said,
"It’s quite a misleading scent, actually." He said. "And a bit foggy."
I couldn’t understand it clearly and decided to just make an excuse first.
"Maybe it’s because of Deadwood," I said. "The air there must’ve ssed with my scent. It’ll probably go back to normal after I take a bath." I said.
They both gave it a thought, not convinced yet and it made wonder just what they were slling for them to think so deeply about it.
"Maybe," Damar said, placing his hand on the back of my head and pulling down to rest my head on his shoulder. "We’ll see afterwards."
"Yeah," Fenric agreed as well, reaching for my hand and interlocking his fingers in mine. "Let’s not think about anything else and go to sleep."
My heart was racing. I don’t know but the ntion of my scent slling different made feel uneasy.
I had my suspicion, because I’ve been looking out for these signs for a few days now, but let’s not jump to conclusions yet.
You never know, it just might be the air from Deadwood ssing with my scent after all.
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