Delusion (12)
A little ti passed.
I opened my room door to head to the church.
And at that mont, sothing collided with the door and fell.
A dull thud sounded, followed by a short scream.
Seraphina was lying fallen on the corridor floor.
She was clutching her forehead.
"Seraphina?"
I asked, flustered.
"Are you okay?"
"Ah, yes. I'm okay."
Seraphina replied, rubbing her forehead.
Her face was slightly contorted.
"Why were you there?"
"Ah, um. I didn't know how to approach you, so I was deliberating."
Seraphina said, slightly averting her gaze and blushing a little, as if embarrassed.
"That ti, when I said we should go to the bakery. Do you rember?"
She asked.
Her gaze wasn't on ; it hovered around her knees.
"I rember."
I replied.
Seraphina's face flushed slightly.
Then, she lightly scuffed the floor with the tip of her left foot and asked.
As if making a very difficult request.
"This weekend, shall we go?"
I already had a prior engagent with Levina for the weekend.
"This weekend might be difficult."
I refused.
Her shoulders slumped visibly.
"Ah......"
"Let's go next weekend."
"Ah... Oh? I-Is that really okay?"
Seraphina asked in a bright voice.
She couldn't hide the subtle tremor of anticipation at the end of her voice.
"Yes, that ti is fine."
At those words, Seraphina's face blood brightly.
Unable to hide her joy, she nodded several tis.
"By the way, what happened regarding the annulnt of your engagent?"
When I asked, she gave a slightly bitter smile.
"It's been sorted out, sohow. A little, no, that's not right.
My father was very angry, but it's not as important as being with you right now."
She only answered that much.
I wanted to ask more, but I couldn't.
The current Seraphina was only saying what 'Lavin' had always wanted to hear.
It was almost as if I were dreaming right now.
Looking at Seraphina, I always think she's changing.
Even though she was clearly always approaching and changing, it felt like she was always circling the sa spot.
As Seraphina once told , perhaps I wished for things to stay the sa.
Only then could I freely bla and hate her.
As I was recalling such thoughts, Seraphina continued speaking.
"By the way, where were you going?"
I glanced at the floor for a mont.
Then I replied.
"Just going for a night stroll."
"......A lie."
Seraphina cut in.
"A lie, all of a sudden?"
"Since childhood, whenever you lied, you always averted your gaze to the floor. Just like now."
I didn't reply.
"It's always like this, so how can I... Sigh."
Seraphina's words trailed off.
"Is it sothing you'd rather not tell ?"
Her eyes held genuine concern.
"It's not difficult, it's just. Can you not ask?"
It's a bit awkward to blurt out that I'm happily going to visit the person I've imprisoned in the church.
".......Alright."
Saying that, Seraphina looked up at with slightly disappointed eyes.
Where had I seen such a gaze before?
As I thought about it, I rembered a ti when I was hiding in Levina's room, and she had found and looked at with those very eyes.
My head throbbed instantly.
The open door.
Seraphina standing before it.
The long corridor stretching out.
And Kyle, who had ultimately found hiding like that and dragged out.
Seraphina, standing beside him.
The Seraphina who had even severed my wrist, preventing from dying as I wished, and who had rely watched , watched burning to death until the very end, now seed to overlap with the Seraphina of the present.
I knew they were different, intellectually.
Even though I knew.
My right hand began to tremble uncontrollably.
I felt the sensation of strength draining from my body.
Cold sweat trickled down my back.
My breathing began to quicken.
I staggered and leaned against the wall.
"Lavin? Are you okay?"
Seraphina, surprised, approached .
She supported my arm.
As I leaned on her for support, my eyes t Seraphina's.
I stared at her blankly for a long ti.
Seeing a blush appear on Seraphina's face, I sohow recalled Levina, who had just been in the room.
And Estelle, who had also blushed and gasped for breath after a kiss.
I grabbed Seraphina's hand.
I gently closed the open door and pulled Seraphina into the room.
Seraphina was flustered and simply followed where I led.
"Actually, you want this too, don't you? Just like everyone else."
I mumbled.
I was speaking, but I didn't know what I was saying.
"Perhaps you felt a little regret when I burned to ashes."
I was looking at Seraphina, but I wasn't seeing Seraphina.
What was reflected in my eyes slowly began to blur.
Only the faint outline of blonde hair and blue eyes was visible.
"I-I don't q-quite u-understand what you're s-saying right now. La-Lavin!?"
Seraphina stamred her reply as I placed my hand on her cheek.
Then, I stroked her cheek, and pushed her onto the bed.
Her back hit the bed.
I slowly climbed on top of her.
And stroked her face again.
Seraphina's face began to flush intensely.
Her pupils were shaking wildly.
"One mont you wanted to annul the engagent at will, the next you were making a fuss saying it couldn't be annulled.
One mont you asked how you could trust , now you say you trust .
Then suddenly you co looking for , talking about lies and whatnot.
What business is it of yours where I go or what I do?"
Seraphina slightly twisted her body, trying to reply to my words.
Not wanting to hear it, I lightly bit her right ear.
"Hhngh!"
Seraphina let out a loud gasp of surprise.
I murmured, almost whispering, into her ear.
"Because if I go out and cause trouble again, or if bad rumors spread, it'll harm you?
Or because you prayed every night, wishing for my death?
Because soone like , by your side, only brings you harm?"
"No! What, what in the w-world, why are you suddenly like this!?"
Seraphina tried to get up from the bed.
"Heek!"
But each ti I bit her ear, she trembled violently and couldn't move.
"It's fortunate that the annulnt was sohow taken back. Did you perhaps cut off your esteed Count's wrist?"
Seraphina's expression showed she couldn't understand why I was acting like this.
At the sa ti, she looked incredibly confused by the situation she was thrust into.
"Stop this!"
Her face bright red, Seraphina pushed away.
She glared at , breathing heavily.
"You, all of a sudden, are you out of your mind—"
She was speaking, but then her eyes t mine, and her expression instantly turned blank, her words trailing off.
In Seraphina's blue eyes, my crying reflection was visible.
"Even though I try to act like nothing's wrong, and try to push you away, why do you keep coming closer and showing a changed side?
Why do you say you believe in , and that you worry about ? Just, keep doing what you were doing......."
I said, my voice trembling.
"When soone like you says things like that, my heart wavers."
My blurred vision beca clear again.
Seraphina, blushing on my bed, ca into view.
I sank to the floor and murmured quietly.
Seraphina hesitated for a mont, then slowly approached .
With a dazed expression, she wiped the corners of my eyes with her sleeve.
"It's just, a bit. No, that's not right. Everything was strange from the start. But it seems to have gotten even stranger. I'm sorry."
Seraphina asked if I was okay, and I shook my head.
"My head seems to have beco ssed up. It was always like that, but now it's even worse. I want to pretend to be normal, but I can't."
I didn't want to utter these words.
"Pat my back like before. Tell everything will be alright.
Tell everything will be alright, just like you comforted when my mother died."
Seraphina, without understanding why, hugged and patted my back.
Her face was filled with confusion and pity.
As I tightly embraced Seraphina, I realized where things had gone wrong.
Not 'Lavin', I couldn't rember what my na was.
I couldn't rember who I was.
Only vague mories of the life I had lived remained.
Everything had started to blur after I read a certain book in the library.
I couldn't tell which part ca first.
At the sa ti, a translucent window appeared.
Sohow, sothing had increased.
[Collect the Ending. 4/?]
[Currently collected rewards: Lingering Traces, Afterimage, Traces]
[Reward: ???, Love]
Embraced by Seraphina, I stared blankly at the translucent window.
And I pulled out the faint, remaining mories of living in reality.
I forcibly dragged out only the painful mories of Seraphina, Estelle, Lineta, and Levina.
All mories of dying, and of wanting to die.
I began to repeat hundreds of tis that I wanted to escape this horrible, fucked-up place, that I wanted to return to where I originally ca from.
Then, the window blurred.
[Collect the Ending. 4/?]
[Currently collected rewards: Lingering Trace, Afterimage, Traces]
[Reward: ???, Return to original world]
"......Ah."
Sohow, it felt distant.
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