Outside the tent, I just stared at the dirt. This place had been a adow, but now the grass and herbs were beaten down, soil hardpacked. Tents up, local trees being denuded to feed the campfires, a latrine sowhere out of sight I could just barely sll, and I thanked the late sumr breeze for that, horses tied up. No chickens, no cows. They were likely hunting to feed themselves. They had, after all, thrown this camp up in haste and without planning.
I wouldn’t make it far now if I ran for a horse. And sneaking off would be an issue, since I was going to be housed in the captain’s tent, probably in the middle of this small army. One week, if we were here one week, my cavalry would be here, looking for . How would these guys react to finding out I was the princess of the next kingdom over? Would I be given a choice of execution? Or, maybe with the mages dead, they’d try to bargain.
I wondered if these were technically my lands. Probably not. The mage’s conclave acted as an extra-national entity, supplying wizards and wizardesses to all states. Now, though, this land was for whoever took it first. I destroyed their university, killed their mages, and effectively left only this small army for its defense. How long would it take a nearby nation to realize that?
Duke Carlisele was closest, and a greedy man. He’d take it. That’d be good for , he was my duke. Though, I might have to prod him a little to annex these lands. Assuming I survived long enough to see him again. If so, yeah, he’d want them for sure, but on his own, it might take a while. He’d just taken over the nearby duchy and was probably having so issues getting it in order and under his control.
The old soldier gently took my arm, breaking my thoughts, saying, “My lady? Are you alright?”
I tried to forget that I knew, with certainty, he hadn’t washed that hand after using the little boys’ outdoor room. Oh, well, it wasn’t my dress anyways. “What? Yeah, fine. Sorry. I guess the audience is over.”
“If you’ll co with , then. I’ll escort you to the captain’s tents.”
Trying to think about a single happy outco other than escaping, I said, “Entirely my pleasure.”
***
The captain’s tents weren’t far, of course, not giving a lot of ti to mope. I guess he wanted to sleep near his office. Unfortunately, they were smack in the middle of the encampnt. We stopped in front of its entrance.
“Lady Cresida, I’ve brought you a guest.”
A woman’s voice from inside the tent said, “A guest? Here?” A tallish brunette woman, late twenties to perhaps early thirties, pushed aside the canvas flap that passed for a door and looked up and down. “Ah. Very nice to et you . . . ?”
“Uhm, Sarah.” Yeah, that’s the na I’d chosen.
She looked at funny, like I’d said octopus or sothing. Then gave a slight curtsy, “A pleasure.”
I returned the favor, hating everything about my circumstances, and forced a smile on my face.
The guard spoke up, “The captain thought it best that Lady Sarah stay with you for the next few days. For safety.”
“And why is that?
The scraggly older guy shifted from one foot to the next. “The, uh, lady is lost, I believe. The captain thought your tent would be the, uh, nicest place for her to take respite.”
“I see,” she said, looking over at the other tents. “Thank you, Chip. I’ll take it from here. Co inside, Lady Sarah.” She held the flap open for . The room, such as it were, was lit in a warm glow from many candles and shadows danced against the walls as I disturbed the air by entering. So on the table, so hanging in tal containers, tied to the tent ceiling with thick string. “The tea has been steeping for a while now. Would you like so?”
“That would be lovely, thank you.” I remained standing at the front of the tent. As the captain’s tent, it was large and spacious, with enough room to fit a dining table and chairs, a rug with a bunch of pillows, a bed in the corner, and two wardrobes, plus two areas cordoned off by folding screens. One probably housed the bedpan for the lady, so she wouldn’t have to be seen by the n outside.
Cresida asked, “Have you eaten?”
And just like that, with my stomach empty and suddenly badgering , I rembered what it was like to be mortal. “I guess, yes, I guess I am.”
She clapped her hands together. “Excellent. I was going to have so sweets with my tea, but we have just enough supper left over for one. Allow to prepare you a plate.”
And thirsty. My throat was thirsty for the first ti in a long while. I’d had ad – the last liquid that passed my lips – but not here, not on this land, but an extradinsional space where only gods could live. Good ad, though, made by my brother, the brother I left in the Trap. Yet the mory of its taste was slipping away, like flowers floating out of sight downriver. And so was he, so was he.
Shortly, she put a plate in front of , a cloth napkin, knife and fork atop that, then a saucer, cup, and stood back to retrieve a teacup and teapot. I watched the liquid flow in from one vessel to the other, all the while bewildered, trying to imagine that ad, but I couldn’t. It poured in both directions in that dinsion, one or the other, depending on which direction of entropy you moved, or poured not at all, but froze, still and unmoving, if you didn’t. He poured it in all ti dinsions, my brother. Yet even now, his face escaped my mory.
I still rembered the reason I’d co to this world, though. To rescue him from the Trap. Cognitively, I knew the reason. Experientially, I did not, having no mory of making it or the entirety of who I was before this choice, being brought into existence after this choice was made.
So, I left him there, in the trap. Friends! They were why. My friends whom I loved as a mortal, Brin and Tread, my big man, whom I cherished, these I could not have, would not care about, if I’d accepted those mories, thousands and thousands of years of my forr self.
Yet rejecting those mories was foolish, ultimately. For now I was but a girl, powerless, absent the wisdom and cunning those millennia of living surely brought. Oh, I made a right ss of things.
As she tilted the teapot, liquid mirror pouring out, candlelight glinting off, falling from the higher elevation into the lower cup and all this was suddenly disorienting, too much for my mind, and I closed my eyes. Focus. It should be easier. Ti only slips away in one direction. Here.
“My lady? Are you unwell?” A touch of worry in her voice, though not for .
Shaking my head, pushing the mories of the past away to where they belong, I opened my eyes for her, and used her as my focus point. “A slight headache. It’s passed now. I’m fine. Dizziness from lack of nourishnt. Thank you very much for your hospitality. I don’t rember the last ti I’ve eaten.”
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“Oh, it’s nothing. Please,” she gestured at the dishes on the table.
For so reason, I felt guilty, but picked up the fork and knife anyways, and cut off a piece of animal flesh, probably beef by the look of it, and ate. It was flavorful. Nice texture. God, what is wrong with ?
This wasn’t the first ti I’d been mortal. But it was the first ti I was without the divine. I’d thought, when I’d first arrived to this world, that I was mortal, that I’d been a man before waking up as a princess. I was mistaken, though that was by design. The divine slumbered within until awakening violently.
How many n did I kill?
Cool hand on my forehead, “My lady, you haven’t a fever, though you are a touch hot.”
Closing my eyes, I sat back, feeling nothing but her gentle touch against my forehead. “Thank you. I’m fine. Really.” I sat up straighter, she dropped her hand and moved back to her own seat, and I pushed another bit of food into my mouth, chewed, swallowed, and added so hot tea to the mixture. Yes, I could have answered, there’s so much wrong with , I just don’t know where to start. I guess, right now, I’d say, eating and drinking is new to . I seem to have forgotten how you mortals do it. Chew, chew, chew, swallow.
“Would you like to lie down?”
“Where are you from, my lady?”
“Ah,” she blinked, surprised, “south of Laemacia. Part of the wizards’ holdings. We, well, the mages had an arrangent with the Laemacian empire. They wouldn’t attack us. The breadbasket of the conclave. I’m a farr’s daughter. We raised cattle and grew wheat.”
“An arrangent?”
“You know,” she waved her hand, “you know. The other states get mages in return for leaving our lands untouched. I an,” she shrugged, “Laemacia didn’t have a choice but to leave us alone. What army could wage war on wizards? Now, though, I don’t know.”
Those mages. Yes, no doubt, the Laemacian Empire had no bargaining power when it ca to them. A single mage could kill hundreds, if not thousands, of n with but a hand gesture. The mundane were nothing to them. And armies heavily relied upon mages. Laemacia certainly had to leave those lands unmolested, there was no fighting these people. But now they were gone. How long before the emperor decided to take that land? I could understand her worry.
But who was the emperor now? I’d killed the previous one. And, really, he was a usurper. Oddly, and annoyingly, I was the rightful empress in addition to being the rightful ruler of my kingdom. This body’s father had produced a child with a princess of the Laemacian Empire’s royal family. And now the body was mine, its titles mine, its hunger and thirst and goddamn teenage hormones all mine.
“And you, Lady Sarah, where are you from?”
I swallowed. “West of here, slightly east of the Carlisele duchy.”
“I don’t know of that duchy. West of here is the Barclay duchy.”
Whoops! I’d replaced the Barclays with the Carliseles because they’d betrayed . Twice. Not very long ago and I guess the news hadn’t reached here yet. “The Carliseles have assud the Barclay lands, and the Barclay family is no more.”
“And their church?”
“Soon to be dismantled.”
She narrowed her eyes, “And how do you feel about this situation? Your family?”
“With gladness.”
Brushing hair away from her face, she smiled, “ too. I’m relieved you feel that way. What an awful church! Oppressive and vile. And the only ones who could stop our mages.”
“Are there, are there any mages left? I apologize, but I’d,” instead of saying, ‘woken up in a circle of dead bodies,’ I went with, “co across a large number of them unfortunately lifeless. My lady.”
She stared at for a while and I could not continue eating, given the conversation, before finally saying in a low voice, “None that we know of.”
I stared back, doing everything I could to suppress feeling glad of it, for those mages had stolen the divine and only punishnt existed for that, and they had well and truly earned, embraced it, before saying, with as much false sadness as I could muster, “What a tragedy.”
“It is going to alter the political landscape.”
“You worry that Laemacia will conquer your holand?”
“Yes. They are certainly the most powerful nation. It has three tis the military capacity that Nevarrelund and Ketzle have. Without mages, those kingdoms will surely fall soon. Oh! Excuse , I ant no slight.”
“The truth is not a slight.” I did not smile, though she was mistaken. Laemacia had lost her great army to , in a fit of rage. I’d lted their weapons and armor and those who’d quickly stripped yet bore the scars of my wrath. Though I didn’t know the full extent of their empire. Or, really, enough about their military readiness. They were likely marshalling more soldiers even now.
Sorrow gripped then. It is not for the divine to kill and this was not an act I could make up for. It was a debt I yet owed. And so much guilt! My heart sank. I rested my hands on the table. Why and how could I do such a thing? I couldn’t face it, not yet, not now. Later, a reckoning and well earned, but not now.
“Lady Sarah?”
I let the cutlery fall out of my hands. “I’m sorry, perhaps you are right. I am unwell and find myself unable to eat.”
“Perhaps a glass of wine would bolster your stamina? We should speak on lighter topics.”
“Wine would be lovely.” My stomach moved, felt empty, unhappy with my course of action. But, no, the mory of it. I couldn’t eat.
Placing two clay mugs on the table, she set down a small plate of red crystals, small spoon on it, then the wine jug itself. She pushed over the crystals, “How sweet would you like your wine?”
Lead sugar. That refocused my attention to the present. No, no thank you! “Not at all.”
“Oh? Most young won take their wine sweet.”
I gave her the nicest smile I was capable of, brushing the hair off my face, “I’m sweet enough already.”
She sat back, looking at as if I’d pulled a wet rat out of my dress and said, ‘here, you like?’ Then she picked up the spoon, scooped so lead sugar and dumped it into my wine glass. “It’ll help with your stamina and lift your spirits. Good for a young lady such as yourself.” Then she scooped up so for her own wine glass and stirred, watching while mixing the toxic heavy tal in.
My turn to stare at her. I guess we weren’t going to be friends. “I am not drinking that.” Not a chance I was poisoning my newly mortal body with lead. She could keep her stamina.
“I’ve already poured the wine.”
I sat back, crossing my arms. “I guess you get two glasses now.”
With a smile on her face, she slid the wine in my direction, saying, “Co now, it’s good for your health. Will you refuse the hospitality of my tent?”
I focused my eyes behind her, asking, “What is that thing?”
She turned around to look and I bumped the glass over, wine and lead crystals toppling out all over the table, dripping off onto the floor. “Oh. My goodness , I spilled the wine.”
I got a scowl for that. “It appears you do not need more wine tonight.”
“No,” I smiled at her, blinking prettily, “I guess not.” I stood up, “I’m going to go for a walk.”
“At this hour? You can’t. It’s dark outside . . . and not safe.”
As I headed for the entrance, I mumbled sothing like, “Uh-huh, that makes sense,” then pushed aside the flaps, and walked out. Not safe in an army of her own people, indeed. I hoped the captain maintained good discipline, but also, I could handle any single combatant.
But fear took for a mont. I’d trained to fight in Valhalla. But what if these mories, these skills, too, faded? Then I’d be as helpless as any other fifteen-year-old girl. I guess I could retrain, but they hadn’t vanished and I could only hope they wouldn’t. The other problem was my size. I’d have to rely on speed and technique, as there was no chance I could match a grown man for strength. But I’d worry about it when the ti ca.
The darkness was broken by a cooking fire not far from the tent. Beyond it, a ring of tents encircled this one, each with their own fires on the other side, where their entrances were, but they crackled and sparks sprung into sight every now and again, and their light filled the sky above with a soft, red glow for no stars glittered tonight, and clouds gave us a milky, fuzzy ceiling.
“Miss,” said a nearby sentry, “where are you going?” He pushed up his helt, which was too large for him, revealing the face of a young man, perhaps still in his teens. Brown hair and matching eyes.
“Ah, out. Here. I needed so air. What’s cooking tonight?”
“I believe my lady has already been served tonight’s supper. What’s on the fire isn’t fit for maidens such as yourself.”
“Not for maidens. I see.” What an odd word choice, I thought to myself. It literally ant ‘young virgin’ in older usage, and he must have thought that of . I guess so ats are too old and rough for us delicate virgins. “Do you, by chance, have any ale?”
From behind , the lady said, “Oh, you won’t go fraternizing with the soldiers!” She grabbed the scruff of my neckline.
Without thinking, I ducked while pivoting around on my left foot to face her, which overstretched her arm, trapping it in my clothing, then took hold of the pressure points on her forearm hard, causing her to scream and fall into the ground. Shit.
Releasing her, I put my hand under her other arm, lifting her up and kind of brushed her other hand off my shoulder. “Uhm, you seem to have tripped.” I went about straightening her dress, pushing off the dirt and grass now stuck to it.
She glared at , angry, slightly shaking her head, pulled her dress back down and stord back into the tent.
I gave my attention to the young guard. “Ah, so, how’s your ale?”
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