Awareness cos to as I find myself floating in my soul space, the prismatic bridge between my sister and I now thrumming and wide. Devouring Qi like never before. Pulsing along with the rest of the void to the repetitive first series of piano notes from a familiar yet haunting pop song from Earth. The... emotion and energy behind the repeating music almost feels... real. Tangible. Visible. Like the entire space has beco one with the eerily low pitched yet tragically beautiful music that fills it.
I gather my wits, the urgency of the situation calling back to the present. The anxious joy of what is about to co rocketing along that multicolored connection without delay. Even in my soul avatar state, I can feel my heart thundering inside my chest. The blood roaring through my veins as I near instantly transport where that beautiful and whole golden orb rests.
Only now, it isn't golden. It's a breathtaking kaleidoscope of spiraling colors and weaving shapes, my breath hitching as thoughts stop in awe of the radiant display.
The music is louder here, the repeating track emanating from this technicolor sphere that pulses our shared universe in its tone and beat. The sa deep notes, over and over, toward the introduction of the lody. Almost as if its waiting for sothing to start the tune proper. Waiting... for .
Dun dun dun... dun dun dun...
It repeats once more, the space breathing around the music like an organic symphony. I raise my hand, tears of joy and concern and relief and longing pouring freely down my cheeks as my shaky fingers reach toward my love. My life. My everything.
Dun dun dun... dun dun dun...
The notes repeat a final ti as my fingers brush against the resplendent, captivating lights. My consciousness slipping and shifting and twirling as the music finally, at last, continues past the intro.
As it progresses in its still harrowing tones, a figure curled into a fetal position snaps into existence before my eyes. Featureless beyond long, pooling hair and the curves of a woman and made of nothing but pure soul white, the music slips into the first verse. And from this being that my soul screams to be reunited with, my sister's voice that puts sirens to sha begins to softly sing.
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Images spring to life all around us. mories she has shown and other scenes unfamiliar. Two young sisters playing on a hill, giggling as they wrestle and roll along the grass. Tent forts lit from a held flashlight to ward off the dark as we read and play shadow puppets. Both of us trying to teach the other to dance, our little feet stepping all over each other, but the happiness remains as pure as the laughter.
Older versions of us, graying at the roots but content and peaceful. Hands holding small cups of tea or coffee as we rest our heads against each other's after a soft kiss and watch a beautiful sunset over a prairie of wildflowers. The windchi hanging from the awning of our small house's porch in the middle of nowhere soothing our souls. Of candlelit dinners and little shared monts drawn over a lifeti of being in love and being one.
Not what they'd think
And if I'm bein' honest
It might've been a nightmare...
To anyone who might care
The tranquil and joyous scenes slip away on her words as the space darkens further. That day on the couch, our first kiss, when our mother yelled at us. Threatened to hit . The many nights after with that sa parent, the one ant to love us unconditionally, asking probing questions. Testing and fishing for any reason to repeat the act and justify her disgust toward her daughter. Of a father who was once close now and forever more keeping her at arm's length.
Of the whispers and gossip as we grew older and went to school. Countless fights with kids who had run their mouth off, calling Sandra an abomination or wrong in the head only to end up with a bleeding, broken nose. Of my own bullies from that ti that skipped school for a week only to return with their arm in a sling and a trembling fear of my sister.
The torture that was starting to date and the horrible, tragic romances afterwards. Of feeling left behind, forgotten yet at the sa ti trying to be happy for . At least, at first. Myriad countless nights of my sister crying herself to sleep as the one thing in life she had always longed for yet always out of her reach was taken by those she knew were unworthy of possessing.
Thought I could fly
So I stepped off the Golden. Mhm...
The weight of being abandoned. Of losing everyone she ever loved, in so way or another. The casual slip into drinking. Then into drugs. Then to a knife poised over her wrist, only to be thrown to the tile floor of the bathroom as she sits on the edge of a filled tub of water. Shaking hands covering weeping eyes, mouth wide and wailing. A mory that appears more frequently than once.
Nobody cried
Nobody even noticed
I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care
Uncaring faces of our parents who co across so of those heart shaking events, never a genuine word of love or touch of assistance offered or given. Just a haunting air of disappointnt hidden by archaic reassurances and platitudes. Or of roommates with their own sunken eyes and strung-out minds rely walking away, uncaring of her struggles. The cloying darkness and self-hate only kept at bay for one reason, one purpose.
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up I see...
You with ...
The lingering darkness from the mories fade as hundreds - thousands - of new yet nearly identical scenes take their place. Most in our old ho, so in my apartnt. All of them with nestled safely in the arms of a person whose whole being is held together by the most beautifullove I have ever known. Who cherishes more than I thought I could ever know. I know now.
And I say
My knees go weak as every version of Sandra from every mory speaks in unison, my soul thriving and expanding in ways indescribable as tears bubble forth from my eyes and my hand flies up to cover my gaping mouth.
"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you
Don't want to lie here, but you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you hear, 'They don't deserve you'"
All of the mories finish the verse at the sa ti against my shaking and shuttering scalp while she holds tight. An overwhelming outpouring of love so pure, so vast, that the entire space transcends pinks and roses and golds and becos sothing more. Sothing that does not and will never have a definition that could ever live up to its majestic hue and warmth.
The more than angelic radiance recedes uncaring of my hiccupped sobs of rapture, nor for the ssy and wet silvery liquid pouring down my cheeks from the sheer devotion and love I just witnessed.
I tried to scream
But my head was underwater
The twist of dark, obsessive thoughts and emotions replaces the holiest thing I have ever experienced. mories replaying of my ti with Mary, Jennean, and Taylor. Those aching, desperately lonely nights Sandra spent worrying herself to death and beyond. For . Her pleas and promises given to try and wrest from their grasps, only to be ignored by my scared and stubborn mind. A mind too blind to see the love she carried like a withering torch, its embers infinite yet flickering after countless failed attempts.
They called weak
The horrified and disgusted faces of her previous roommates, the ones she was in a relationship with, after she let my na slip on the high of a climax. The disgusting words they called her as they packed their ager belongings and left that very night after she told them the truth of her feelings. The revulsion heavy in their eyes and their parting grimaces as the door to both the apartnt and their relationship closed shut. The tiniest sliver of so form of affection now lost to her.
Like I'm not just sobody's daughter
The untold glances of suspicion and vile from our father and mother respectively. A facet of their person anyti she is in view or in conversation. Any lingering amount of parental love having been lost years prior.
Could've been a nightmare
But it felt like they were right there
A now empty studio filled with unkempt and worn-out furniture. Bottles of liquor and cans of beer litter the floor as more than one type of illicit substance strewn on any flat surface while Sandra looks blankly up at the ceiling. Her statuesque figure unmoving as day becos night becos day again until she finally rises from the dirty couch and into the bathroom. Then to bed where she cries until she exhausts herself for the umpteenth ti.
And it feels like yesterday was a year ago
But I don't wanna let anybody know
'Cause everybody wants sothing from now
And I don't wanna let her down
I cry along with her, have been since the beginning. Heart breaking at all of these awful, horrid monts she never wanted to share with . Or was trying to shoulder on her own in silence just like I struggle not to do, suffering just like I do because of it. Whether because it just simply hurt too much to, or she was protecting doesn't matter now.
She could NEVER let down. And I will NEVER abandon her EVER again. I will give her the love she needs, and wants, and deserves until the day I die. Her voice, full and emotive thus far, shrinks down to a despondent whisper.
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
I reach out to the still huddled form of Sandra, all the while the song and mories have been playing, ribbons of prismatic energy have been funneling into her. Adding texture, and definition, and life to this tragically small, vulnerable version of my sister.
Wrapping her into my embrace, her eyes flutter open as that funnel turns into a torrent. Previously brown eyes now teal. Curly chestnut hair now long and wavy and crimson. A figure like I am looking into a mirror.
As she sees , a blinding white flash of light sunders the space in a riptide, music only slightly distorting as it fills both of us, heart and soul. Suddenly I'm back in Akiko's lap under the golden do. And in my arms... is Sandra.
Without a thought about her naked state or her wide eyes holding too many emotions to na, I lean down and kiss her with all of my being. The music that heralds her arrival now exploding outward for anyone to hear for hundreds of miles.
That sa prismatic aura that has up till now been hidden between the two of us erupts outward, bathing the entire surface of Mara in its spectacular luminosity. Every being on the planet halts whatever they are doing regardless of urgency or necessity to life to look up in wonder as a shimring, pulsing rainbow of colors envelops the world.
I break off the kiss and sing as tears flood both our eyes.
But when I wake up, I see
You with
Dark clouds roil overhead, my head whipping up with a sneering face as the lightning bolts the sa pattern as our love begin to gather before arcing directly towards my sun. In an instant, ti freezes and I am in the Empress' court. I look up at the massive deity who holds a certain knowing in her white bonfire eyes, crown and jewelry firmly in place as she rests in her gilded throne.
"I need your power. Please." I ask before kneeling to the ground, my head touching the checkerboard white and black marble tiles in front of the steps leading up to her. Any pretense or hesitation about who or what she is now and forevermore irrelevant so long as she lets save my beloved. Sothing fundantal inside of changing with that leap of faith.
Without a sound, her hands gently raise my head up to et hers as she kneels in front of . "And I shall give it, all you must do is speak my na."
A seed of panic rips through before a mory cos to mind. Her mory. The end of it, specifically, and one that I can now recall distinctly. A given na a mystery no longer.
With determination in my eyes, I fix her with a steely look and ask again, "Please lend your power to protect my sister, Liliana."
As the first prismatic bolt is loosed, my form rises to rival mountains. Void black skin rivaling the deepest reaches of empty space, white crown shining blindingly fixed firmly atop my head, blazing white infernos erupting from my eyes. A solid white scythe radiating POWER held in my hands that flicks up and utterly shatters Heaven's first attack into colorful, energy laden particles.
My voice ethereal and filled with devotion as I finish the verse, uncaring of the thousands upon thousands of multicolored lightning bolts descending from the black skies above.
And I say
"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you
My scythe effortlesslycarves through the innurable bolts, twirling and slashing and carving each and every one that deigns to rain from on high as the world trembles. Heaven uncaring of the possible damage it could cause.
Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to
A solid blue beam of pure ice rockets past , freezing a massive section of the tempestuous clouds above into solid glaciers. Six white tails fully armored in crystalline glimr lash from around , securing my flanks against wayward bolts before a fox rivaling skyscrapers bounds through air and tears apart any and everything in her path of destruction.
A roar from the east precludes a pink haired woman flying through the sky and shatteringtwelve bolts with one swing of her maul, a hurricane shredding multiple hundreds of others into nothingness in the wake of her attack.
The air takes on an oppressive, redhue as two pairs of crimson eyes alight from behind my towering form. Millions of knives, sebons, and darts erupting from nothing to splinter and fracture the entire aerial battlefield before exploding with maroon energy.
On the ground, a 500-foot-tall warrior made of tal dipped in sunlight holding a gigantic tower shield and wickedly sharp longsword of the sa hue stands guard over the form of my beloved sister still safe inside the golden do. Her new teal eyes staring up in absolute amazent, wonder, and love as my empowered voice continues the lody.
If I could change the way that you see yourself
The bolts pause as the sky rumbles in outrage. The onslaught of lightning coalescing into hundreds upon hundreds of prismatic, armored warriors. With a sneer, my arm raises as I telepathically tell the girls to retreat. They clear in an instant, and the approaching horde is t by a wall thousands of miles wide consisting of nothing but pure void energy which explodes forward, erasing them all in one fell stroke.
You wouldn't wonder why you hear, 'They don't deserve you'"
As the sky stutters, its energy rapidly being erased from the combined assault defeating its most powerful attempts, Sandra holds a hand to her heart. Her voice carries across the battlefield while I feel her burning, passionate, devoted love burn into my soul.
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
The question is not a question because the answer will always be the sa. And we both know it. That burning golden pink blinds my inner world as if to confirm as such, the need for words moot as the intent slams into like a blissful waterfall.
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
Confidence and surety pour from her completed mind, her answer again obvious. As long as we are together, she couldn't give a fuck less what anyone else thinks. All of those previous shackles of society and their values, external and internal, hold no weight on either of us anymore.
The sky roars one last ti as Heaven's last-ditch attempt to rob us of our chance together coalesces. Nearly all light fades from the skies as a massive, snarling eastern dragon filled with prismatic power swims through the air straight toward us all. Its gigantic form easily doubles my current empowered height as my voice answers Sandra and completes the final verse.
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
All these trials, the hardships of my life. Both from Earth and on Mara. Every crushing panic attack and thought of hopelessness. Every tear shed, every regret had...
I would do it a trillion tis over again if it ant being with Sandra at the end.
My hand raises toward the incoming beast in the shape of a finger gun, even as my lovers stare up wide eyed in fear.
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
All the awful, crippling words from my exes. All the encouragent my parents gave that I now see as fake and hollow. Just as if not even more cruel than anything else as they restrain their care from my sister just because of who she is and who she loves.
Just like my amazing, wonderfulsister, I don't give a shit about any of them or what they would say anymore.
She has been reborn now, this process of fusing what I now know to have been rely a projection of her soul, her spirit, into this new body. Having to relieve all of that pain, all of that heartache, in re monts as her mories filled the shell that beca my love. And now nothing will ever separate us ever again.
As I finish the song, the music slowly winding to its end on the haunting notes of a piano, I give my final reply to Heaven's outburst.
"Stay the FUCK away from my sister. [Lance]."
A single white beam brimming with pure soul power shoots from my pointed fingertip at the speed of light. The prismatic dragon explodes in a flash as the beam burrows through its body and keeps going. Through the black clouds that rip open for miles as they are burned by my soul. Through the normal atmosphere as the stars suddenly beco visible.
Into the taphysical realm as the beam breaks reality. Past a shimring golden barrier made by higher beings that shatters in humble defeat at the beams passing. Through towering gilded, golden doors of a massive, opulent structure made of pure energy. And past all the featureless golden beings who live and govern the world below. All save one.
There, sat upon a throne is a singular figure that now has a gaping hole through its head. Its entire remaining energy shuddering before exploding in a dazzling display of firefly like light as the others around it look on in unmitigated horror.
Below their gilded trappings, the dark clouds instantly evaporate and retreat in fear. The remaining energy rushing back to its master while I shrink back down to my normal height and turn to the light of my life with a smile.
"Welco back, sunshine~."
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